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  #51  
Old 16-10-2019, 12:58 AM
JustBe JustBe is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ThatMan
I am an empath and I have always been this way... This is one of the things that I love about myself, I care for everyone and I feel their suffering even the suffering of people that are completely strangers to me, and because of this, I also feel a great deal of inner suffering.I feel like a magnet for the suffering of people and not just only people... To me the greatest suffering to an empath is to not be able to relieve the pain of other people.. The very nature of your being says that you are born to help here and yet you can't and this is horrible.When I see a dead animal I always say something like: "Goodbye my little one"; in fact I do the very same thing with the deceased people, it does not matter if I know them or not.I can't do many things for myself because I feel that I do a "bad" thing, it's like why I am doing something for myself when the core of my being screams to do something for other people, for this very reason I make sure I don't do too much for myself.When I eat good food I think about the people who have almost nothing and nothing to eat, it hurts... When I have a good time with my family I feel that I should not be happy because there are people suffering in the world.I can go on and on, I love this thing at myself but it's causing me a "ton" of pain and yet I would not give it up for nothing in this world.

I simply can't understand why all people are not like me, I can't understand how can they think so much of themselves and how they can do so many things for themselves, I just can't, my mind can't comprehend this idea.. This is also making me sad and angry at those people who are so obsessed with their well being and sometimes I hate them but then I do what I do the best, I put myself in their shoes and I understand... I will do the very same thing if I would be just like them.

This ability, "to put myself in the shoes of other people" is how I feel the suffering of other people...

I also feel mercy and have a great deal of understanding for the people who were/are bad with me, I see them as being blind and that they are living in darkness, they can't see that they are hurting me.I remember all the moments I hurt someone in this world, I kept these memories as a way to remind myself that I have to grow to not make the same mistakes again.
Hello.
Understanding suffering with compassion gives you as the sensitive the ability to overcome into a beautiful state of balance within all life. As Davidson shared the potential of deep care and feeling moves through all life. Joy and love are also the potential within you.

We are not meant to be martyrs, compassion and self love go hand in hand with self and others. Many empaths give so much to others yet neglect the very foundation in themselves because they think it has to be all about others.

I’ve lived amongst and been a part of empaths communities for over twenty years. I see many forgo their own needs for the sake of others. Many have spiralled into poor health and self care later in life.

You matter as much as the other.

Self care, self love is not selfish. It’s creating a full tank to be able to live more authentically as your sensitive compassionate self, without drain and struggles. Live and be the person you were born to be.

Learning through all streams of life, builds a balanced view from within. Balance means you understand, your aware and you live aware. There is no hatred or need to make others change, for how they are. In total acceptance you open in your live and joy of being and know your enough as you are. You move and share you as you are. That is enough. The world won’t change by constantly thinking about suffering. The world can change when you act and move from a place to inspire others, as you can model.
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“Within you is the light of one thousand suns-Robert Adams
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  #52  
Old 16-10-2019, 10:32 AM
Sunshine111 Sunshine111 is offline
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This https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl...e-empathy-trap is the URL link of the article of Psychology Today, titled "The Empathy Trap" mentioned on this thread by Molearner which after I read this, found it to be very helpful.

It is related to certain "challenges" mentioned here by "empaths"(those able to place themselves into another person's shoes, feel and understand how they feel) and offers "solutions" how these can be overcome.

There is also a book titled The Empathy Trap:Understanding Antisocial Personalities, interesting enough for me to read in a couple of years when I believe that, I will have time for reading a book again.
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  #53  
Old 16-10-2019, 10:33 AM
Sunshine111 Sunshine111 is offline
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Thank you for sharing Molearner.
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  #54  
Old 16-10-2019, 03:40 PM
davidsun davidsun is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sunshine111
This https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl...e-empathy-trap is the URL link of the article of Psychology Today, titled "The Empathy Trap".
Great, very balancing article!

Jesus' (among others') teachings are often narrowly interpreted to mean that one 'should' always 'sacrifice' one's self in service of others pr Life-at-Large. Here's a passage from my treatise, which focuses on issues pertaining to soul development, in which I (also) attempt to present a balanced perspective in this regard:
Such kind of psychospiritual development results in one’s acting to salutarily enhance the creative functionality of whoever or whatever one may singularly or plurally be relationally involved with, which of course means doing whatever one can to help as well as assistively support others who help to protect those that are vulnerable, heal those that are sick or injured, nurture those who are immature and educate those who are unaware of the nature and extent of their connection to and with others in context of Life’s Matrixial Flow. There may therefore indeed be times and circumstances when and where desisting from seeking as well as foregoing available pleasures, comforts, gains, etc. and risking as well as voluntarily accepting consequent stresses, pains, losses, etc., even to the point of incurring significant physiosocial liabilities, is what one thinks and feels is the most Love and Joy augmenting choice one can make, and therefore elects to do with such goals in mind and heart. What devoted parents, friends, teachers, care-providers and public servants of all kinds often do as a matter of course provides exemplary illustration in this regard.*

[Footnote*: Not that one has the power to do everything one might wish to along such lines, mind you: “It is accepted according to that a man hath, and not according to that he hath not.” (II*Corinthians 8:12) Making the most of what one is capable of at any given point is the best anyone can aim for.]

That being said, in the interests of promoting a more nuanced understanding and interpretation of Jesus’ curt (to the point of possibly being misunderstood) “Whosoever will lose his life for my (i.e.*for capital ‘L’ Life’s) sake shall find it” statement, let me also point out that it doesn’t really make sense for a nodal soul to only be devoted to the welfare of others. Why? Because one’s worldly being – any being, really! – requires a degree of self‑sustenance if it is to continue to function and pragmatically serve in a co‑creative capacity in any given context. The ‘best’ one can generally do in the context of The Flow of Life, therefore, is to aim to ‘enrich’ the Love and Joy processes and potentials of others by first optimally utilizing whatever opportunities may be available to operationally develop one’s self in ways which lead to one’s becoming and being more able to ‘give back’ and then ‘giving back’, the intent in said regard being to become and thereby be as Love and Joy augmenting as possible, with an eye towards maximally facilitating others’ psychospiritual development and consequently increasing the scope and improving the quality of Life’s Love and Joy Flow (one’s own soul-‘flow’ included) over the course of time, hopefully more than creatively compensating for what one ‘receives’ or ‘takes’ for one’s self (again, over the course of time) in the process.
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  #55  
Old 16-10-2019, 05:02 PM
BigJohn BigJohn is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sunshine111
This https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl...e-empathy-trap is the URL link of the article of Psychology Today, titled "The Empathy Trap" mentioned on this thread by Molearner which after I read this, found it to be very helpful.

It is related to certain "challenges" mentioned here by "empaths"(those able to place themselves into another person's shoes, feel and understand how they feel) and offers "solutions" how these can be overcome.

There is also a book titled The Empathy Trap:Understanding Antisocial Personalities, interesting enough for me to read in a couple of years when I believe that, I will have time for reading a book again.
If you want to know about people who really do put themselves in another person's shoes, check out walk-ins.
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..
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He dipped the pen into the ink and then faltered for just a second. A tremor had gone through his bowels. To mark the paper was the decisive act. In small clumsy letters he wrote: ........... April 4th, 1984.
..................
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  #56  
Old 16-10-2019, 09:29 PM
Sunshine111 Sunshine111 is offline
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Book1 Empathy and Soul Development

Quote:
Originally Posted by davidsun
Great, very balancing article!

Jesus' (among others') teachings are often narrowly interpreted to mean that one 'should' always 'sacrifice' one's self in service of others pr Life-at-Large. Here's a passage from my treatise, which focuses on issues pertaining to soul development, in which I (also) attempt to present a balanced perspective in this regard:
Such kind of psychospiritual development results in one’s acting to salutarily enhance the creative functionality of whoever or whatever one may singularly or plurally be relationally involved with, which of course means doing whatever one can to help as well as assistively support others who help to protect those that are vulnerable, heal those that are sick or injured, nurture those who are immature and educate those who are unaware of the nature and extent of their connection to and with others in context of Life’s Matrixial Flow. There may therefore indeed be times and circumstances when and where desisting from seeking as well as foregoing available pleasures, comforts, gains, etc. and risking as well as voluntarily accepting consequent stresses, pains, losses, etc., even to the point of incurring significant physiosocial liabilities, is what one thinks and feels is the most Love and Joy augmenting choice one can make, and therefore elects to do with such goals in mind and heart. What devoted parents, friends, teachers, care-providers and public servants of all kinds often do as a matter of course provides exemplary illustration in this regard.*

[Footnote*: Not that one has the power to do everything one might wish to along such lines, mind you: “It is accepted according to that a man hath, and not according to that he hath not.” (II*Corinthians 8:12) Making the most of what one is capable of at any given point is the best anyone can aim for.]

That being said, in the interests of promoting a more nuanced understanding and interpretation of Jesus’ curt (to the point of possibly being misunderstood) “Whosoever will lose his life for my (i.e.*for capital ‘L’ Life’s) sake shall find it” statement, let me also point out that it doesn’t really make sense for a nodal soul to only be devoted to the welfare of others. Why? Because one’s worldly being – any being, really! – requires a degree of self‑sustenance if it is to continue to function and pragmatically serve in a co‑creative capacity in any given context. The ‘best’ one can generally do in the context of The Flow of Life, therefore, is to aim to ‘enrich’ the Love and Joy processes and potentials of others by first optimally utilizing whatever opportunities may be available to operationally develop one’s self in ways which lead to one’s becoming and being more able to ‘give back’ and then ‘giving back’, the intent in said regard being to become and thereby be as Love and Joy augmenting as possible, with an eye towards maximally facilitating others’ psychospiritual development and consequently increasing the scope and improving the quality of Life’s Love and Joy Flow (one’s own soul-‘flow’ included) over the course of time, hopefully more than creatively compensating for what one ‘receives’ or ‘takes’ for one’s self (again, over the course of time) in the process.

Hi David,

Thank you for your views expressed in your article related to empathy and soul development.

It begins by expressing my belief that the ultimate expression and higher form that empathy expresses in a human is self-sacrifice.

Unfortunately, we live in a world and it may have been the case that, not only certain people is selfish , egoistic and can think nothing but themselves as the member Thatman in his post said but, they want the cake whole and to eat it as well.

Even in the case that another eats a piece of the cake, this will not be whole as it is wanted to be, right?.

Self sacrifice it is my belief that another vast subject that has so many elements to it but, I will just restrict myself in commenting in what you said.

2. In order for others or another to support others who do the good you described, another in my opinion, should be selfless, not egoistic and to be sharing the same beliefs , values and principles.

In a difficult time or situation, the reality for me is that, 90% will simply jump off ship and try to save their own *ss or even much worse say and think, "this is not my problem, this is his or her problem; it does not concern me but, them. It has nothing to do with me" or even much much worse say, "let me play my role and serve my own selfish interests".

A chain is being broken in this way, a chain of a sense and feeling of humanity and at the same time , the law of nature.

For, based on this law, what makes us humans and what humane?.

Is it not to lay a hand to another who needs this and how can this be achieved without any empathy not just for our fellow human beings but, our own person when we need this as well.

3. And the reason why and aim of this empathy towards one person when this is necessary is as you said(copy and paste below from your article for those who may understand or wish or want to understand).

"The ‘best’ one can generally do in the context of The Flow of Life, therefore, is to aim to ‘enrich’ the Love and Joy processes and potentials of others by first optimally utilizing whatever opportunities may be available to operationally develop one’s self in ways which lead to one’s becoming and being more able to ‘give back’ and then ‘giving back’, the intent in said regard being to become and thereby be as Love and Joy augmenting as possible".

4. "The flow of life" as you called it that is "Love and Joy" in the offering on the behalf of an Empath for, for certain empaths as the member "Thatman" shared , "there is no greatest pain than not being to help"=not being another person's suffering or pain.

And here comes what the member Molearner shared that Compassion is and how EMPATHY turns to COMPASSION.

To take action on the feelings of empathy, to act upon them and do something.

For, what is the point of just Feeling Empathy or Feel the Pain of another?.

Just to feel and to feel for ourselves and ourselves ONLY and to feel good about ourselves for being human and have the ability to feel and understand?.

5. I will close this message by commentimg on the following words from your article,


"let me also point out that it doesn’t really make sense for a nodal soul to only be devoted to the welfare of others. Why? Because one’s worldly being – any being, really! – requires a degree of self‑sustenance if it is to continue to function and pragmatically serve in a co‑creative capacity in any given context".

6. We have to recharge our batteries , renew our energies, declutter so, "The Flow of Life" that is "Love and Joy" and this "flow of life" to continue.

Therefore, Self Love and Care is important to "Love and Joy" as part of "The flow of life".

Once again, thank you for sharing your views. All the best.
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  #57  
Old 16-10-2019, 09:47 PM
Sunshine111 Sunshine111 is offline
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Lightbulb Walk-ins

Quote:
Originally Posted by BigJohn
If you want to know about people who really do put themselves in another person's shoes, check out walk-ins.

Hello Big John,

OK, I will.

Any more guidance in regards to checking out "walk-ins" , besides searching to find this on Google?.

Do you want to share a few more words about the "walk-ins" or any of your thoughts, feelings and experiences in general on the subject of empathy?.
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