Shut my heart. How can I re-open it?

[sentient]

Originally Posted by :)14:)

Hi,

Now I don't feel love, empathy, and it's like as if I were blind in a sense. I am emotionally, because originally love is central in my life and I'm normally empathic to an extent that I have the tendency to even take on others' negative emotions and baggage.

If you happen to know strong/intense heart-openers, could you, please, share with me what they are? Thank you.

Hi, some of my thoughts about genuine love …

How do you do authentic love?
My answer is that you don’t.
You can’t cultivate or create authentic love into being, but you can recognize it when it spontaneously arises within you.

If love is dependent on you creating it into the world then it is not authentic.

The self-image, the ‘me’ as the perfectly, virtuously loving person in the eyes of the world, the creator of love into the world thus making it a better place is often only doing so with self-interest.

*

I can’t really explain this well ….

I find that when I observe ‘other’ (in juxtaposition with or) within space, i.e. pay attention to the spatial field surrounding the ‘other’:
https://www.theschoolrun.com/sites/t.../u9/circle.png

.....within that sensing of the presence of the field, seeing it in its field .... one also senses the heart (the ‘isness’) of that field.

One cannot usually do that on a forum board, but in real life situations.
It is experimental.

The ‘thing’ existing in space surrounding it - be it a plant, animal, another person …. shows the vulnerability, the exposedness of its ‘isness’ - and often compassion just spontaneously arises …….unconditionally …… i.e. I do not need to attract/magnetize that ‘other’ into my relative reference point, into demonstratingly (according to my expectations) loving ‘me' for that love, empathy, compassion to rise or just be there.

*

[:)14:)]

Originally Posted by 7luminaries

I just wanted to say that I was very moved by your response. YOU become the healing and reconciliation you need to see in the in the world.
Beautiful recommendations.

You hit on a very important aspect of awakening...as well as of heart trauma. Because they are one and the same for a vast majority who awaken, I'd wager. Loving those who loathe you or have been unkind (particularly when you don't know why, and that's often the case) can not only shut down the heart, it can break it or even shatter it. Just as can happen with any great loss or trauma with regard to folks you love. Awakening opens the heart centre immeasurably and the flip side is that it renders the heart centre uniquely vulnerable to trauma and abuse.

Loss or trauma is ultimately all the same to the heart, even though of course we acknowledge these situations and relationships are different, perhaps very different.
And yet, offering both ourselves and others authentic love in being and doing is what is needed by everyone, by all humanity. So those of us who have experienced deep trauma to the soul which shuts down &/or shatters the heart centre are actually entering the new age, and the coming face of humanity, where we come through this to understand what authentic love is...it is not caustically selfish AND it is not caustically sacrificial.

Authentic love values YOUR highest good equally to all others. It values THEIR highest good equally to yours.
You are not lesser than others, nor are they lesser than you. And no one deserves any less than authentic love (lovingkindness and equanimity), in equal consideration of the highest good of all. Their unkindness or violence, etc., is misaligned...and your continued acceptance of it (if applicable) is also misaligned. And the same would apply to you regarding them.

Having said that...how do we come through this time and place of great and egregious misalignment, this cranky infancy of the human spirit? Where we have (or will) suffered great trauma due to opening the heart as a central part of our spiritual awakening? How do we recover our humanity...i.e., rebuild and re-enter our heart centre?


Crying or releasing emotions will open the heart and these inner responses absolutely must be honoured. But it doesn't always go deeply enough if the damage is too great. For deep trauma, where you can't even hold or feel or recognise your grief or your pain, only the deepest levels of healing and reconciliation will yield much regular progress.

The above response -- about doing and being authentic love toward yourself and others -- is ultimately the only reliable path to healing the deepest levels of trauma. Because it builds a bridge back to your heart centre, which one day you may find you are able to cross and enter. And although we don't speak of this as much, it also builds a bridge back to the heart centre of God and of others. Not just in naïve openness after awakening, but in a wise, discerning authentic love -- lovingkindness fortified with equanimity, where we realise our own heart centre is as valuable as any others. That our highest good is as worthy of our support and love as the highest good of any others. Authentic love is both our guide and our light, as well as our strength and our fortitude

Continuing in the being and doing of authentic love, then after crossing back into your heart centre and finding at some point that it will hold you once more & you can stay awhile , then you may eventually also find you are able to navigate your broken places which had been shut down, and open them up ever so gently once more to the flow of What Is.

Easy does it... And I am speaking from my own ongoing experience, BTW...

7Luminaries, You've answered several of the questions I had (that I didn't even post), and I find your insight extremely precious! Thank you very much!!

[:)14:)]

Originally Posted by sentient

Hi, some of my thoughts about genuine love …

How do you do authentic love?
My answer is that you don’t.
You can’t cultivate or create authentic love into being, but you can recognize it when it spontaneously arises within you.

If love is dependent on you creating it into the world then it is not authentic.

The self-image, the ‘me’ as the perfectly, virtuously loving person in the eyes of the world, the creator of love into the world thus making it a better place is often only doing so with self-interest.

*

I can’t really explain this well ….

I find that when I observe ‘other’ (in juxtaposition with or) within space, i.e. pay attention to the spatial field surrounding the ‘other’: (url)


.....within that sensing of the presence of the field, seeing it in its field .... one also senses the heart (the ‘isness’) of that field.

One cannot usually do that on a forum board, but in real life situations.
It is experimental.

The ‘thing’ existing in space surrounding it - be it a plant, animal, another person …. shows the vulnerability, the exposedness of its ‘isness’ - and often compassion just spontaneously arises …….unconditionally …… i.e. I do not need to attract/magnetize that ‘other’ into my relative reference point, into demonstratingly (according to my expectations) loving ‘me' for that love, empathy, compassion to rise or just be there.

*

Sentient, Thank you for sharing how you see and experience this.

[linen53]

Originally Posted by Miss Hepburn

I would say 3 BIG tear jerker movies....Schindler's List is just one!

Lol though I don't agree with your tactics, Miss Hepburn, I will say the only movie that I have watched in recent memory that brought buckets of tears was Taking Chance starring Kevin Bacon. I cried like a baby.

[lyzth]

Guess it is opened.

[:)14:)]

It's not... Now I would move a mountain even if that could make my heart re-open because this inability to connect to and love those dearest to me, is excruciating.

My life was about love and relationships and sensitivity before. Now it's a terrible existence.

[lyzth]

I would choose and pursue the beauty in all things.
Once you let go what does not resonate with you, I think this is the place in which your heart opens. Be in someonelses' place is, as weel, an execise of heart opening. Let things pass without participate of them. Hear yourself and allow youself to talk with yourself. I do not pretend to give advices here, just sharing what I struggle to practice.

[Starman]

Originally Posted by :)14:)

Hi,

Now I don't feel love, empathy, and it's like as if I were blind in a sense. I am emotionally, because originally love is central in my life and I'm normally empathic to an extent that I have the tendency to even take on others' negative emotions and baggage.

If you happen to know strong/intense heart-openers, could you, please, share with me what they are? Thank you.

There is alot of excellent advice given here by others. I just wanted to add my one and a half cents.

I don’t think you need “strong intense heart openers.” It takes more energy to keep your heart closed than it does to open it. The intensity keeps our heart closed while relaxing can help it to open.

When I say heart I am talking about your core feelings. Laughter and joy can also help to open our heart. Start with the simple things. Learn to laugh at your self. Relaxing apple cider vinegar or Epsom salt baths may also help with your emotional state.

Crying and feeling genuine love for ourselves may also help to open our heart. Cry and grieve for whatever loss may be giving you pain. A closed heart can be painful and it is usually about loss, loss of trust, betrayal, unmet expectations, etc. The pain comes from what you perceived happened to you, but also it comes from you keeping your heart closed to defend against what happened to you.

Go into the great outdoors and yell out loud at he top of your lungs. Curse and say the things about your hurt that you would not say in polite company. Cry, get it out of you. Write a letter to the person who you feel hurt you, spill your emotions out on paper, and then burn that letter and say with conviction to your pain, over and over, I now let go of you. Affirmations do work, because it is what we tell ourselves that may be keeping our heart closed. Trust that you will receive healing guidance from within your own self. Don’t beat yourself up. You suffer when you keep your heart closed.

Try to see what part of this do you own and what part does the other person own. Was it about unmet expectations that you might have had, betrayal, etc. There are lesson in this for you and if you do not learn the lessons odds are you will repeat this hurt again. But that is no reason to keep your heart closed. The only way to see if you have learned your lessons is to open your heart to someone else. But I do not advise you doing that right away.

Be gentle with yourself, you can not change another person but you can change your self. Understand that you can not learn how to have healthy loving relationships by avoiding relationships. What you are experiencing is a widespread common human experience. Experience love within your self and you will better be able to love others. Work on yourself and give it time; love will prevail.


Peace

[:)14:)]

Originally Posted by lyzth

I would choose and pursue the beauty in all things.
Once you let go what does not resonate with you, I think this is the place in which your heart opens. Be in someonelses' place is, as weel, an execise of heart opening. Let things pass without participate of them. Hear yourself and allow youself to talk with yourself. I do not pretend to give advices here, just sharing what I struggle to practice.

Hi Lyzth, thank you for your response.

[:)14:)]

Originally Posted by Starman

There is alot of excellent advice given here by others. I just wanted to add my one and a half cents.

I don’t think you need “strong intense heart openers.” It takes more energy to keep your heart closed than it does to open it. The intensity keeps our heart closed while relaxing can help it to open.

When I say heart I am talking about your core feelings. Laughter and joy can also help to open our heart. Start with the simple things. Learn to laugh at your self. Relaxing apple cider vinegar or Epsom salt baths may also help with your emotional state.

Crying and feeling genuine love for ourselves may also help to open our heart. Cry and grieve for whatever loss may be giving you pain. A closed heart can be painful and it is usually about loss, loss of trust, betrayal, unmet expectations, etc. The pain comes from what you perceived happened to you, but also it comes from you keeping your heart closed to defend against what happened to you.

Go into the great outdoors and yell out loud at he top of your lungs. Curse and say the things about your hurt that you would not say in polite company. Cry, get it out of you. Write a letter to the person who you feel hurt you, spill your emotions out on paper, and then burn that letter and say with conviction to your pain, over and over, I now let go of you. Affirmations do work, because it is what we tell ourselves that may be keeping our heart closed. Trust that you will receive healing guidance from within your own self. Don’t beat yourself up. You suffer when you keep your heart closed.

Try to see what part of this do you own and what part does the other person own. Was it about unmet expectations that you might have had, betrayal, etc. There are lesson in this for you and if you do not learn the lessons odds are you will repeat this hurt again. But that is no reason to keep your heart closed. The only way to see if you have learned your lessons is to open your heart to someone else. But I do not advise you doing that right away.

Be gentle with yourself, you can not change another person but you can change your self. Understand that you can not learn how to have healthy loving relationships by avoiding relationships. What you are experiencing is a widespread common human experience. Experience love within your self and you will better be able to love others. Work on yourself and give it time; love will prevail.


Peace

Hi Starman, I haven't realized yet what the lesson is, I hope I will, soon! Thank you so much for your insightful advice!