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Go Back   Spiritual Forums > Spirituality & Beliefs > Love & Relationships -Friends and Family

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  #1  
Old 11-04-2014, 08:11 PM
LilithxScorpius LilithxScorpius is offline
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Bored

My boyfriend is boring. I like him so much and it would hurt me to tell him but he is. He does the same thing over and over again and even though he's sweet it's SO BORING. I know this will sound horrible but I've acted up just so there would be excitement in the relationship. He's so routine and I'm not but other than that he's amazing. How do I fix this without telling him he's boring?
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  #2  
Old 11-04-2014, 08:23 PM
Iseke
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Well...I have to ask: deep down, is this really what you want?

He's not going to change. If you find yourself challenging the relationship and finding reasons to stir trouble just for something different, have you thought about whether it might be time to let it go?

You can of course suggest ideas for fun things to do or tell him you like it when he can be spontaneous once in awhile. But his fundamental temperament isn't going to change so you'll have to decide what is more important to you, excitement or the qualities he offers?
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  #3  
Old 11-04-2014, 09:06 PM
lilybug
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This is something you need to talk with him about don't blame him for being boring say something like I'd like to do more activities with you and tell him what you'd like to do. Acting up will not do anything you have to be direct or he has no idea why you are acting up he will not assume what your hoping he will assume, communication is key in relationships and if you can't talk to him it won't last.
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  #4  
Old 12-04-2014, 06:15 AM
LilithxScorpius LilithxScorpius is offline
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Well, thanks for your replies. I guess the bottom line is which one I'd rather have more. He is far too important to let go of. I will communicate things to him how I see fit. I just hope he accepts it because he is a Cancer which means he is extremely sensitive, ( and he is.) He takes little things I say and blow them out of proportion and he'd be crushed if I called him boring or even if I said, something close to it. I have to be careful.

Thansk once again.
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  #5  
Old 12-04-2014, 07:38 AM
Smilealittlebrighter
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If he is too important to let go of, then you should accept him for how he is.

Part of loving someone is acceptance. If someone is how they are, they aren't going to change in ways like being boring! Also about when you talk to him - even if you feel he blows things out of proportion, he may be taking the things you say a lot differently than you would, you know?

Be honest with him but remember - when we have precious things, we treat them gently and lovingly.
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  #6  
Old 12-04-2014, 03:13 PM
Nada
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So, he is boring and talking to him is like walking on egg shells

He likes his routines and he is overly sensitive with his own feelings.
He sounds like my ex husband.

This is not a good thing.
I am assuming that he likes his routines in every aspects of his life, including 'bedroom'.

He is who he is and he will not change.
Men like him stick to their routines because their routines work for them. So, they will not change what make them comfortable, regardless of what others or you want.

The communication issue of "walking on egg shells" is really a bad sign.
It does NOT matter how sweet he is.

You are already frustrated with the red flags.
If you are looking for someone to marry, he is not the one for you.

Last edited by Nada : 12-04-2014 at 06:24 PM.
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  #7  
Old 14-04-2014, 09:15 PM
LilithxScorpius LilithxScorpius is offline
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You guys are right about acceptance. I have to accept him for who he is..Problem is now, I'm getting into flirting with other men...I should just break it off but I really hate hurting other people's feelings..

He would be severely hurt. I just don't I'm cut out for relationships. After this one, I need to steer clear. I also don't like the feeling of being tied down so marriage is definitely not for me. I don't even want to get married.

I like him so much though...It's just he's boring and I'm a wanderer.

Anyways, thanks for the advice.
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  #8  
Old 14-04-2014, 09:52 PM
Yazzi Yazzi is offline
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Yes. Accept him for who he is. Accept you for who you are too! You have more ambition and want more out of life. After all it is your life, make it a fantastic one!
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  #9  
Old 15-04-2014, 02:59 PM
Heaven Heaven is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Iseke
Well...I have to ask: deep down, is this really what you want?

He's not going to change. If you find yourself challenging the relationship and finding reasons to stir trouble just for something different, have you thought about whether it might be time to let it go?

You can of course suggest ideas for fun things to do or tell him you like it when he can be spontaneous once in awhile. But his fundamental temperament isn't going to change so you'll have to decide what is more important to you, excitement or the qualities he offers?

I agree with ISEKE! Its time for you to think about this relationship and move on. If he is so boring then why are you with him? If him being nice to you its not enough, then honestly your relationship is not going to work. Just cause you love him doesn't mean that he is the one for you. You cant change someone, he is who he is.
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  #10  
Old 15-04-2014, 07:11 PM
Nada
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Quote:
Originally Posted by unicornxLovex
You guys are right about acceptance. I have to accept him for who he is..Problem is now, I'm getting into flirting with other men...I should just break it off but I really hate hurting other people's feelings..

He would be severely hurt. I just don't I'm cut out for relationships. After this one, I need to steer clear. I also don't like the feeling of being tied down so marriage is definitely not for me. I don't even want to get married.

I like him so much though...It's just he's boring and I'm a wanderer.

Anyways, thanks for the advice.

You are already flirting with other men.. and this is a very bad sign.
Although he will be hurt when you break up with him, he will hurt even more when you leave him for another man.
Love alone is never enough in a relationship.
He is probably a great friend to have.
It is best to leave him when there still is love between you two.
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