The Heart wants what it can't Have

[girlsearching]

How many have you'll got She/He the one interest that you wanted. I'll take it back further, In High School were you the love struck Girl/Guy who really liked that "One" but She or He was never interested in you. Now think going forward in your Adulthood do you still go for the one you can't have ? . From my experience I have never gotten the guys that I liked. They were never in my line of view or in my physical presence. Why does it seem like there are Certain women and Men who manage to get who they want, and what they want out of life. Like I said God is keeping them away from me. I have heard if you play your cards right...... I think not because the universe must be telling me something that I'm missing. Why even fall head over heels for people who don't even no you exist.

[umbridge]

The question is - why do people choose the ones that they cannot have?

Mother-father issues. Opposite gender. How they related with their mother or father. Same sex - self love, opposite sex - loving others.

For example a little girl can fantasize a lot and fall in love with a school most popular boy who she cannot have, maybe because she idealized and fantasized about her father or her father was never there for her and she created an idealized picture of her father and now what she is used to is the man who is unattainable. And thats the pattern. Until she realizes that by being aware of it, she can overcome it.

Understanding (via experiences maybe) that she does not have and can be disappointed in the end when she always idealizes men.
We learn through pain.

At the same time, she is has her safe bubble, keeping men at distance. Letting no one near of her, so that she had time to fantasize.
In the end the story is going to sour because how long you can keep up with a fantasy man?


Also people need a person in their life that makes their heart beats a little bit faster..maybe there are people we only watch from a far..but at the same time being realistic.


Heart knows what it wants. Heart never plays with others feelings.

take care.
hugs

[girlsearching]

Originally Posted by umbridge

The question is - why do people choose the ones that they cannot have?

Mother-father issues. Opposite gender. How they related with their mother or father. Same sex - self love, opposite sex - loving others.

For example a little girl can fantasize a lot and fall in love with a school most popular boy who she cannot have, maybe because she idealized and fantasized about her father or her father was never there for her and she created an idealized picture of her father and now what she is used to is the man who is unattainable. And thats the pattern. Until she realizes that by being aware of it, she can overcome it.

Understanding (via experiences maybe) that she does not have and can be disappointed in the end when she always idealizes men.
We learn through pain.

At the same time, she is has her safe bubble, keeping men at distance. Letting no one near of her, so that she had time to fantasize.
In the end the story is going to sour because how long you can keep up with a fantasy man?


Also people need a person in their life that makes their heart beats a little bit faster..maybe there are people we only watch from a far..but at the same time being realistic.


Heart knows what it wants. Heart never plays with others feelings.

take care.
hugs

@ umbridge you are right. I have to ask myself why do I even attract these types of guys. My father was in/out of my life but the thing is I'm looking for a father figure. I must say you nailed it on the head, with being sheltered I wasn't really a social butterfly in high school. I mostly kept to myself I never partied or got Drunk or used Marijuana before. I guess I'm attracted to guys who are the complete opposite of myself.

[Kupava]

I spent a decade on a boy I couldn't have,it totally wrecked me ,then I fell in love with someone who loved me back ,it completely freed me from all the pain of the decades longing.

you will meet someone who loves you back believe me and it is so much better and wonderously when they love you back,even recently I fell for someone and he loved me back it was the greatest feeling,there is an old African proverb - Loving someone that does not love you is like loving the rain that falls in the forest and
To love someone who does not love you, is like shaking a tree to make the dew drops fall.

[girlsearching]

Originally Posted by Kupava

I spent a decade on a boy I couldn't have,it totally wrecked me ,then I fell in love with someone who loved me back ,it completely freed me from all the pain of the decades longing.

you will meet someone who loves you back believe me and it is so much better and wonderously when they love you back,even recently I fell for someone and he loved me back it was the greatest feeling,there is an old African proverb - Loving someone that does not love you is like loving the rain that falls in the forest and
To love someone who does not love you, is like shaking a tree to make the dew drops fall.

@Kupava that African Proverb is the most beautiful sentence I ever read thank you for that. I hope to find someone who loves me for who I am. In the mean time I have to love myself for who I am.