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  #11  
Old 11-06-2019, 01:46 PM
NoOne NoOne is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BJAsapace
I feel that soooo much. I haven't been going outside lately, mostly because I feel the same way I left when I get home, it creeps back in. As for meditation, it's so embarrassing feeling like the voices in my head hear me think because my mind says absurd things only because I know they're listening and it became a habit, and it makes it hard to stay focused or relaxed. And I don't eat much junk food but I don't eat fruits or vegetables either because I'm broke. I may seem pessimistic, I can't help it, it's been like this for so long. I recently quit drugs, smoking cigarettes and alcohol.

Drugs are often the main culprit when it comes to these things. They open up psychic channels before the person is ready and it can often lock that person in to low-vibrational, lower astral realms and the beings that inhabit it.

Not an expert on this, but I suspect if you keep raising the base vibratory frequency of your energy field, you will eventually leave the octave that these astral beings inhabit. Since the channel to other realms is already open, that is probably the only way you can lift yourself out of your situation. Seeking the help and protection of higher beings may also help. It did in my case.
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  #12  
Old 11-06-2019, 03:15 PM
Dargor Dargor is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BJAsapace
How does one go back to the "unspiritual" state of mind?

Become an atheist and stop giving a sh#t about anything spiritual. Well, that's what I did. As a former religious nutjob, sometimes I'm still struggling with trying to convince myself that god is a man-made object. However, give it a few more years and I will definitely be a hunded percent convinced that there's nothing out there.
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  #13  
Old 11-06-2019, 06:44 PM
WildHairedWoman WildHairedWoman is offline
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I have known people who claim to be spiritual and are bat *** crazy. Mental illness has nothing to do with what others think of you. If you need help there is a lot of help out there and you should never compare yourself to anyone else. It is possible that you are more sane that the one you are comparing yourself to. You don't know what is going on in anyone else's mind. Don't worry about being spiritual or non-spiritual. There is no such thing. We are all here for different reasons and it is ALL spiritual even though some might judge one as not being spiritual. It is a judgement based in lack of information and fear.
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  #14  
Old 11-06-2019, 08:39 PM
Starman Starman is offline
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It is all about learning how to handle your own energy. Don’t get caught in the mental health labels or what
other people think. A lot of mental health issues come from our culture, society, or peer group pressure.
Yes, there are mental illnesses that deal with brain damage but most mental illnesses deal with how a person
handles their own energy.

Manic just means that a person does not know how to focus their energy. Schizophrenia is a personality disorder.
A bio-medical model may call it a chemical imbalance in the brain, a behavioral model may say it is a conditioned
response, a social learning model might say it is a result of the environment that a person lives in and how that
has influenced them.

There are literally hundreds of psychological models all different in the way they look at what we call “mental illness.”
In my opinion the best approach is to “KnowThySelf.” get to know you on many levels. Wear diagnostic labels lightly.
Labels tend to put us in a box and lots of people unconsciously emulate labels that they, or others, have given to them.

Everyone on this planet can be diagnosed as having some type of mental illness, everyone on this planet will probably
at some time experience depression or some other mental disturbance. Sanity is often, but not always, a value judgment
imposed by a person’s culture. Society is great at imposing labels on people.

Forget about the labels. What people say about you says more about them than it does you. Get to know your self
emotionally, get to know your physical body, get to know your mind and how you think, get to know your self spiritually.
Life is a journey of self discovery, and the journey is endless.
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  #15  
Old 11-06-2019, 09:02 PM
Native spirit Native spirit is online now
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I have to agree with Starman a label ties you down.get to know the real person within, leave everything else alone.


Namaste
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  #16  
Old 12-06-2019, 12:27 AM
Shivani Devi Shivani Devi is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BJAsapace
I'm manic a lot of the time, feel like people can hear me think, schizoazffective, "delusional." I thought religion or spirituality would help but it really doesn't, it makes me feel a whole lot worse about myself and condition I'm in. I regret ever knowing about religion and spirituality, I want to feel mundane again. But at the same time it has made the unconscious conscious which makes me feel even worse because my mental health and mania really f*ck me up. 7 years of being mentally ill has really taken its' toll on my life, although I do like some of the concepts, it hasn't helped my state of mind, if anything it made it worse. I've had a messed up life, but it also makes me wanna be a better person yet i feel so self-contradicting inside, it f*cking hurts a lot of the time. The fact I feel people hear me think is what really messed me and my world up, it's one of the main causes of my depression, anxiety and voices aside from feeling guilty bout my past. In a way I'm venting, yet I'm curious as to why spirituality doesn't really help.
I am so sorry to hear you are experiencing this, but if it is any consolation, you are not alone.

In fact, what you have written describes my situation to a tee. Most mornings I wake up dreading the day instead of embracing it, because I realise it is just going to be "more of the same".

I am also a person who really wants and tries to be "spiritual" but my mental illness stops me.

I trust that you have seen the doctors and specialists; gone through all of the associated "rigmarole" which is included in every "self-help" disclaimer out there, only to be told that it is all "psychosomatic"; only to be placed on various antipsychotics (which turns you into a zombie) and be given a referral to go and see a CBT specialist, before the medical system writes you off completely...right?

Mental Illness is a product and outcome of the SUBCONSCIOUS mind... Spirituality is mainly aimed towards the CONSCIOUS mind...see the problem?

At the moment, I am working (self working) on Psychological Kinesiology (Psych-K) and EFT (tapping) and I have replaced Cognitive Behavioral Therapy with Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (Acceptance Commitment Therapy).

I have had to drop the whole "Spiritual" label, because it was a concept and ideal that I would never be able to live up to.

Instead, I try more mindfulness practices (like mindful walking or mindful eating) instead of meditation, and appreciating the most simple things in life which others don't notice because they are too busy...also spending time doing what I like (which does not involve technology) and grounding myself by going for walks and being in nature.

Before bed each night, I listen to affirmations..and I had to go through hundreds of guided meditations before finding only a few which "spoke to me", but the reward was worth it. My favourite guided meditations all involve "letting go" and in "trusting in a power greater than myself".

If you can just manage to do ANY of these things...and trust me, in the beginning it seems to be so very hard..so frustrating...but it does get easier with practice, once you have broken through the initial barrier of resistance, when the illness tends to assert itself and "fight back"... acknowledge it and just ride it out..in fact, I am having such a day today.

There will be "good days" and "bad days" it will be "up and down", but the trick is to try and not let yourself get stuck in the "ups" and "downs" for too long... eventually the see saw stabilises and yes, I am still waiting for that to happen myself.

All I know, is that a lot of ideals associated with this thing that others call "Spirituality" does not resonate with me whatsoever! In fact, I find myself more in disagreement with "Spiritual people" over "Spiritual matters" than in agreement with them, but I have let that all pass... because if there's one thing I DO know...it is that everybody experiences the same thing very, very differently and that is when the judgmental accusation of "delusional" gets bandied about WAY too much by people who think that their version of reality is the ONLY one..and unfortunately, that label has a bad habit of sticking hard and fast.

I have learned that true Spirituality is personal...it is whatever YOU define and design it to be...and for the sake of sanity, you even get to totally disregard others who call you insane... isn't that cool? Because if I am mad, believing in a reality which "does not exist" then the whole WORLD is in that same boat..with the exception of those true and genuine Self-Realised souls...so, can you see how it all works now?

I hope you find some helpful tips in what I have written...and if you have any thoughts of harming self or other, please, PLEASE contact Lifeline (or equivalent in your country).

All the best to you..and there IS a light at the end of the tunnel, even if you can't see it yet.
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  #17  
Old 12-06-2019, 02:10 AM
inavalan inavalan is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BJAsapace
I'm manic a lot of the time, feel like people can hear me think, schizoazffective, "delusional." I thought religion or spirituality would help but it really doesn't, it makes me feel a whole lot worse about myself and condition I'm in. I regret ever knowing about religion and spirituality, I want to feel mundane again. But at the same time it has made the unconscious conscious which makes me feel even worse because my mental health and mania really f*ck me up. 7 years of being mentally ill has really taken its' toll on my life, although I do like some of the concepts, it hasn't helped my state of mind, if anything it made it worse. I've had a messed up life, but it also makes me wanna be a better person yet i feel so self-contradicting inside, it f*cking hurts a lot of the time. The fact I feel people hear me think is what really messed me and my world up, it's one of the main causes of my depression, anxiety and voices aside from feeling guilty bout my past. In a way I'm venting, yet I'm curious as to why spirituality doesn't really help.
You can think of your brain as a computer, of spirituality and religions as web pages you attempt to access, and of your mental illness is a defect in your computer. No wonder it's hard to feel spiritual (enjoy web pages) when you're mentally ill (your computer malfunctions).

You need to fix your computer, and, who knows, you might get the know-how from a web page (spirituality) if you're computer is okay enough to access anything.

Sorry for your predicament.
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Everything expressed here is what I believe. Keep that in mind when you read my post, as I kept it in mind when I wrote it. I don't parrot others. Most of my spiritual beliefs come from direct channeling guidance. I have no interest in arguing whose belief is right, and whose is wrong. I'm here just to express my opinions, and read about others'.
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  #18  
Old 12-06-2019, 09:41 AM
Greenslade
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BJAsapace
I'm manic a lot of the time, feel like people can hear me think, schizoazffective, "delusional." I thought religion or spirituality would help but it really doesn't, it makes me feel a whole lot worse about myself and condition I'm in. I regret ever knowing about religion and spirituality, I want to feel mundane again. But at the same time it has made the unconscious conscious which makes me feel even worse because my mental health and mania really f*ck me up.
Actually it's not that hard to feel Spiritual when you have a mental health issue, I am border-line schizophrenic from ma childhood trauma and I used to work in Mental health. Go back to your reasons for being Spiritual - what do you want out of it? If you think Spirituality will help your mental heath issue then you're barking up the wrong tree, spirituality awakens you to your inner world and when it does there's no gong back. If you thought Spirituality would cure you....

The other thing to look at is your definitions - what does the word mean to you, personally? For most people it means something separate from the 'mundane' as you called it, and that doesn't help if you already have a mental health issue because all it does is put you at odds with yourself.

You're trying to cure yourself by trying to not be yourself, and this is where it all starts falling down. You can't run away from what you have inside, whatever that may be. Until you start not hating yourself..... Spirituality and mental health tend not to be good bed partners. It's not easy to consolidate beliefs in your mind when there's head chatter going on. I literally lost my temper with my voices and they settled down a bit after that.

Quote:
Originally Posted by BJAsapace
aside from feeling guilty bout my past
This is probably more common than people think it is, because past issues and even those from childhood can affect us long into adulthood. If you're feeling guilty about them then I'm guessing you don't like yourself very much. That's not a good basis for being 'mundane' never mind Spirituality. What might help is Googling "Teal Swan Shadow Work", she and a few others have excellent guides for delving into the Shadow Self and finding the root of these kinds of things. It's a good a start as any but you have to be prepared to be brutally honest with yourself.

When you start acknowledging who and what you are and begin to find ways of accepting yourself things might just start turning around for you.

Quote:
Originally Posted by BJAsapace
No. But my thoughts don't align with who I want to be,
Again you're at odds with yourself and that's not a basis for finding a way trough all of this. If you want some Spirituality here then you could start living in the Now and not project yourself in front of or away from yourself. What are the the reasons your thoughts don't align with who you want to be? Because you'd rather be someone/something else?

[quote=BJAsapace]I recently quit drugs, smoking cigarettes and alcohol.[/quote[Acknowledging this at a deep level will help you self esteem, because with everything that's going on it's going to take a hit. You could probably use something to feel good about yourself and breaking those addictions takes a hell of a lot of will power. Talking of which, it's a little heavy but it's worth checking out Maslo's Hierarchy of Needs. I might help you put things into order one step at a time by recognising lacks and you can deal with them from there.
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  #19  
Old 13-06-2019, 11:53 AM
BJAsapace BJAsapace is offline
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[quote=Greenslade]Actually it's not that hard to feel Spiritual when you have a mental health issue, I am border-line schizophrenic from ma childhood trauma and I used to work in Mental health. Go back to your reasons for being Spiritual - what do you want out of it? If you think Spirituality will help your mental heath issue then you're barking up the wrong tree, spirituality awakens you to your inner world and when it does there's no gong back. If you thought Spirituality would cure you....

The other thing to look at is your definitions - what does the word mean to you, personally? For most people it means something separate from the 'mundane' as you called it, and that doesn't help if you already have a mental health issue because all it does is put you at odds with yourself.

You're trying to cure yourself by trying to not be yourself, and this is where it all starts falling down. You can't run away from what you have inside, whatever that may be. Until you start not hating yourself..... Spirituality and mental health tend not to be good bed partners. It's not easy to consolidate beliefs in your mind when there's head chatter going on. I literally lost my temper with my voices and they settled down a bit after that.

This is probably more common than people think it is, because past issues and even those from childhood can affect us long into adulthood. If you're feeling guilty about them then I'm guessing you don't like yourself very much. That's not a good basis for being 'mundane' never mind Spirituality. What might help is Googling "Teal Swan Shadow Work", she and a few others have excellent guides for delving into the Shadow Self and finding the root of these kinds of things. It's a good a start as any but you have to be prepared to be brutally honest with yourself.

When you start acknowledging who and what you are and begin to find ways of accepting yourself things might just start turning around for you.

Again you're at odds with yourself and that's not a basis for finding a way trough all of this. If you want some Spirituality here then you could start living in the Now and not project yourself in front of or away from yourself. What are the the reasons your thoughts don't align with who you want to be? Because you'd rather be someone/something else?

Quote:
Originally Posted by BJAsapace
I recently quit drugs, smoking cigarettes and alcohol.[/quote[Acknowledging this at a deep level will help you self esteem, because with everything that's going on it's going to take a hit. You could probably use something to feel good about yourself and breaking those addictions takes a hell of a lot of will power. Talking of which, it's a little heavy but it's worth checking out Maslo's Hierarchy of Needs. I might help you put things into order one step at a time by recognising lacks and you can deal with them from there.

As much as I'd like to live in the now, and sometimes I do, I still find it hard to ignore the voices listening. It's them always hearing me that bugs me the most, it's mentally exhausting and f*cks up my energy and even feel it in my chakras. I been trying to accept myself but with the judgement from these voices it makes it hard to do so. Do you understand that? The fact I hear these voices criticising me is what really brings me down and I feel what the think of me, even at distances. They get mad at me for something I don't know how to control. It's honestly really embarrassing, you have no idea. How would you feel if people knew stuff about you that you don't want them to know? I feel naked and exposed and have no privacy whatsoever. Honestly, f*CK spirituality. I may have a pessimistic outlook on life but at least I'm honest with myself. You tell me to know myself better, well I do, especially after becoming so conscious of personal sh*t, I wish I wasn't. Like I said, I wanna be plugged back into the matrix. I never had mental health issues until 2012 and that's when I had a spontaneous kundalini awakening due to reoccuring trauma. You get what I'm saying?
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  #20  
Old 13-06-2019, 12:00 PM
BJAsapace BJAsapace is offline
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I'm the only person I know to have had a kundalini awakening in my life and no one I know in real life knows what it's like or how it has affected my life and mental health. All this spiritual stuff came so easily to me to understand yet it's so hard to apply it to my life only because the criticism of these voices. I even had a dream of me being in pure darkness and ascending upwards towards the light, and it was only a hole with pure light behind a figure that was looking down after I yelled out for someone to help me out of there, and this was in 2012 also. I've had bizarre dreams, dreams of going through a portal like you see in the movie Avatar when he's entering the Avatar body, heard God's voice a couple times and even been Intune with the paranormal more times than I can count. I'm far from not being spiritual, I'm just mentally ill. It holds me back from achieving greatness.
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