Please....

[SikuX]

Hello, everyone. Update. I apologize for not coming here sooner.

Originally Posted by LadyMay

I think that's the conclusion of most of us here. We can only help if he will allow it, otherwise he needs to learn to help himself...

Again. I very much appreciate all that you've done for me. I love you for it, and I don't want ANYONE to think they've been a waste of time and energy on me. Last thing I genuinely want. You forget, I even went to you seeking friendship to directly get advice and you declined. So please, I don't look down at your advice. I've tried it. I checked myself into a psych ward after the last post and I'm now on anti-psychotics despite my previous dis-agreements of it. No difference thus far except I sleep more and have more zombie-like tendencies. I feel like a shadow of my former-self while on them. I'm following up and trying all options even if I don't believe in it.

But please, I keep saying it and it's not absorbing. I have very much tried everything everyone has said on here or sternly honest (some take it wrongly) that it would not apply because I am NOT that nor am I going through that problem. I'm a pacifist who is not easily consumed by fear, virgin, non-smoker, non-drinker, and I do not do drugs. I used to dwell in marijuana over 9 months ago and I purposely stopped because of all of this. And yet, I still recieved judgement from others because I admitted to that. I can FEEL it every time I tell someone it. Do you know how that feels? To see people's hearts and true intentions? What that does to someone. I can see the negativity in someone a mile away and I see so much of it in here, ironically. Promoting love and to raise vibrations, when I know what that is like and how it is conveyed into words. Cynicism and disbelief in someone's words is a strong negative feeling all the same. It hurts.... I was wrong to lash out about healers at times as I did. I was in agony, please, forgive me for those moments. Those were not, me.

I am hyper sensitive in the meta and the physical because I'm an empath. I get easily hurt when asked things that imply that my mind is not clear and I am called deranged simply for experiencing something others' are not capable of grasping in their experiences. I am very open-minded but I'm also a realist at the same time. Sorry if I seem like I am not trying, when I have and am. Underneath all this, I beg for acceptance and to be seen. This thread infact made it worse. Hence why I find myself self-isolating and raising myself. It pains me to see people budding heads over their experiences and missing the point of healing entirely.

One-light, I've been keeping away from any electronics, meditating, grounding myself outside bear-foot. Detoxed with only teas and organics for a solid month. I FELT the difference and I raised my vibrations for it to only be taken away from me eventually by an outside influence. I still keep at it, but now I find myself grounding my ego as well for relief. Which helps. Nostalgia, and remembering who I know I am and not living in fear has me going back to some of my old fun habits and balancing out raising my vibrations and being 'myself'. Something does not like me raising myself too much too fast, so I slowed it down.

LadyMay, I've read everything you've shared with me. I've read up on Psychic attacks, I've put Hematite and plants everywhere around my home and it made my attacks WORSE on me. I'm a large target, for whatever reason. So please... I beg of you... stop implying I am not listening and trying...

Your experiences are yours, mine are mine. I seeked outside help, yes. I needed anyone to tell me what I was going through, except I was wrong about that doing so apparently.

This lesson was to be my own. Upon receiving healing or rising my vibrations, I felt dramatically better. Especially from outside help. To less than 24 hours later, reciting the most pain I ever felt in my life in retaliation.

I've come to realize I have two feet in the meta which want me to balance MYSELF. And I've recently been seeing psychiatrists too to help stay grounded in the physical. I've exhausted all options, except the one I should have stuck to. Dealing with this on my own with my own intuition whenever things got rough. I've embraced being an empath and have been loving to any and everything that comes my way raising their vibrations after they attach to me and I've been doing much better ever since. Being thrown 1111's and Angel numbers constantly as well to keep me on the mark. That's what's been helping and that's what I'm sticking with right now. :) <3


I love you all for everything you've done on this rollercoaster of a journey.


I ask a moderator to please close this thread now. I don't think there's much more that's left to be said. Thank you for everything everyone.

Hello,
I have experience assisting others who deal with these things. I never charge a fee of any kind for trying to help those like you.

My big hesitation in your case is that you have your own ideas on how to resolve your issues which are 100% different then what I would advise. My conclusion has been that I would not be able to actually help you. Which is why I have not offered my assistance before this time.

However I could be mistaken about that. So I am willing to invest some time with you to find out if my approach to these things could help you. You can PM me if you are open to resolving your issues in ways other than how your deranged mind has decided would work.

John

Hello, John. I apologize for not seeing this until now. I'd very much love to take you up on your offer only if you get something out of it. Curiosity, perhaps? I'm most curious of what you have to say and offer for sure. :)

I follow my intuition, my heart chakra, something I never felt strongly until I met someone overseas. It was like a spark. In short, I am a strong believer in love of life, nature, the universe, and not religion. My beliefs in faith are what you make of it. I fashion my own cross after praying to so many faiths for help for so long.... I'm what you'd call, an open-minded spiritual realist. Laws of attraction. Positive affirmations. You attract what you are/want. I am not entirely closed off to the idea of certain faiths, but I'd love a strong debate. I love spiritual debates. Feeds the soul. <3

Anyways, I welcome any PMs, and I plan on PM'ing you right now. :)

However, I will be blunt about something. To imply anyone is deranged, especially on a spiritual forum of all places, is rather redundant and closed-minded. No? :P

Not only am I a sensitive empath, but I dropped the fear and anxieties of what people think of me. How I behave on this thread is proof of it. How you react to my authenticity and honesty is a reflection of yourself. PLEASE absorb that. Less egos, and less strong senses of forcing ones' experiences and views on here. I am stating mine in defense and guidance, not offense. If you feel anger or resentment when reading this, you might want to reflect on your negativity. ;) I am seeing you all. You're all beautiful.... We're all being of light and love. I just won't pretend or lie to your faces. I hope you all can appreciate that.


In a nut shell, I never want to stop and conclude. I always want to grow. Perhaps that is why I go through as much as I do. Curiosity killed the cat. No pain, no gain... I just need to stop coming here the second things get too much to handle after I welcomed them like an idiot lol.

[Estah]

Hi there, been reading some of the posts here on your thread, I am curious as to where you are now with your healing?

[one-light]

Nice positive message SikuX well done on improvements... thats a kind message of encouragement you put on here to others struggling - no matter how tough it is, you can get through it... step at a time now, well done.

[lomax]

When i was going around from forum to forum,begging for help,i felt the exact feeling.Some people were more than happy to judge,others really wanted to help but they couldn't,and others who could really do something they wanted money,or didn't care at all.

It really sucks.And for those who think they understand,trust me you don't,unless you've been there as well.

[Estah]

Hi there, been reading some of the posts here on your thread, I am curious as to where you are now with your healing?

Well, I just read the last message you put up and I got my answer. I wrote a paragraph or two and it was erased because I added a link of a video for you to watch. I am a Newbie so I have to post a bunch before I can add links through the link button.

Anyway I wanted to know if you have searched into your birth planning and I thought it might help you as it has helped me. It sounds like you are in need of a connection with your Soul Self to get guidance to lift you up from where you are. This is how I am getting the understanding about the knowledge that is on the other side. Robert Schwartz has a couple books a several videos that teach us about US.

Your Soul’s Gift To You: Understanding The Life Your Soul Planned For You with Robert Schwartz

[SikuX]

Originally Posted by one-light

Nice positive message SikuX well done on improvements... thats a kind message of encouragement you put on here to others struggling - no matter how tough it is, you can get through it... step at a time now, well done.

Always appreciate the support, and you 'seeing' me. Really do. <3

Originally Posted by lomax

When i was going around from forum to forum,begging for help,i felt the exact feeling.Some people were more than happy to judge,others really wanted to help but they couldn't,and others who could really do something they wanted money,or didn't care at all.

It really sucks.And for those who think they understand,trust me you don't,unless you've been there as well.

Exactly. Thanks for making me feel less alone in this. Can't say I don't see where they are coming from as well though - To each their own. It just makes you feel more lonely when having a universal strong re-affirmed view yourself as well of what "healing" is, and it feels broken or misguided when entirely missing the 'point'. I say what I do, out of love and agony both. Yin and Yang. And it all comes from the heart. And it hurts when it's stabbed again by an ego who cannot simply just say, "I'm sorry, I tried my best." Instead, "it's 'you'. Go seek counseling...., and go to church, or ground yourself more." Haven't you been listening??? Been there, done that.... And baptized.... Lol.... Sigh...

I seriously had a Psychic Medium healer, spend over two hours on me removing stuff. Saying "This is really heavy stuff", blocking another Psychic, constantly sent in Archangels (re-affirmed my tie to the eye of horus, and needed aura protection) to them giving up on me and saying "My guides say there is nothing left, honey. Have you seen any doctors for mental health?"... What... YOU literally just took so much out of me and are now saying it's ME??? Pick one stance. You got your money, it was more than you can handle and you couldn't admit... Lol. She did her best, and I felt some weight lifted so I humbly let her believe she managed to rid myself of it and moved on. I took the higher path and unfortunately, it was full of $$$'s. Aw well, lessons learned and I experienced it. It is what it is. Just no more of that type of healing for me anymore. It felt more like affirmational healing than it did, any sort of physical. I felt her energies working on me, but not any significant relief.

Anyway I wanted to know if you have searched into your birth planning and I thought it might help you as it has helped me. It sounds like you are in need of a connection with your Soul Self to get guidance to lift you up from where you are. This is how I am getting the understanding about the knowledge that is on the other side. Robert Schwartz has a couple books a several videos that teach us about US.

Your Soul’s Gift To You: Understanding The Life Your Soul Planned For You with Robert Schwartz

I shall look into it. And yes, I agree, I hole-heartedly believe I need to translate things deep within myself. Thank you so much for your time! :)

Oh and, welcome aboard!

[lomax]

Sikux,you see number patterns as well,right?

[SikuX]

Originally Posted by lomax

Sikux,you see number patterns as well,right?

Yes.

11:11's and or 4's especially. When in most despair or in need of guidance do signs appear even more-so. So many times, I can no longer dismiss them with the strong pessimism and realism I used to have lol.

I even had THE pick-me-up song of mine that is rather unmainstream and it managed to play on a TV during my brief 3-day stay at a Psych ward. The odds.... Hardly a coincidence. And it was among maybe only a handful of songs that managed to get through before a Tech turned the radio off. It was a cable channel that doesn't even play Rock music playing on a lobby TV nor have I EVER heard the band on conventional radio. Truly captivating experience. :P

I know there are angels and a higher calling, guiding me. After that especially, I no longer can deny it. <3

The song is this if curious :
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qk3vjIDuy9w


And another for good measure, powerful!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zSXK1ETyA7g


What numbers do you see?

[lomax]

Originally Posted by SikuX

Yes.

11:11's and or 4's especially. When in most despair or in need of guidance do signs appear even more-so. So many times, I can no longer dismiss them with the strong pessimism and realism I used to have lol.

I even had THE pick-me-up song of mine that is rather unmainstream and it managed to play on a TV during my brief 3-day stay at a Psych ward. The odds.... Hardly a coincidence. And it was among maybe only a handful of songs that managed to get through before a Tech turned the radio off. It was a cable channel that doesn't even play Rock music playing on a lobby TV nor have I EVER heard the band on conventional radio. Truly captivating experience. :P

I know there are angels and a higher calling, guiding me. After that especially, I no longer can deny it. <3

The song is this if curious :
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qk3vjIDuy9w


And another for good measure, powerful!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zSXK1ETyA7g


What numbers do you see?

All kinds of numbers and signs.
That's not the point.

And let's just say that you have indeed 'angels' watching over you.Are you happy with what you experience?Do you feel light and love as some people desperately want to believe about angels?
Do you like to think that maybe these angels who're showing you these signs are responsible for what's going on?
And why they're letting you suffer instead of helping you?
Lessons?Yeah,i can take it.
But what you experience here my friend,is not a lesson at all.It's pure torment.
Such things will leave scars.Who's gonna heal them for you?Propably you.Not only you have to suffer as long as G-d wants,but then you'll have to fix things on your own as well.



No need to expand on this more.You know very well what i'm talking about.
My main question is,is it worth it?

How about knwoing that the 'angels' are just keeping you alive in order to suffer?

[lomax]

And i wish to those who deliver 'lessons' with such ease,someone more powerful than them to teach them the same lessons as well.
I truly truly wish that.