Why cant i do it?

I got the best starting-out advice after I complained to a well-practiced friend, "I am trying to meditate but I can only quiet my thoughts for 10 seconds!!"

He said to me:

Congratulations! That is great news. Tomorrow, try for eleven.

Random thoughts are going to pop up. Ya just have to recognize when it's happening and pull your attention back from your thoughts. That's why most meditation techniques recommend you focus on a mantra, your breath, flame or something else to keep your focus off your thoughts.

[Mr Interesting]

My Dad tried yoga and meditation way back in the late seventies and explained to me then that his technique was simply counting to four. He would count in 1, out, in 2, out etc.

He never stuck but I've kept doin' it. I kept that technique up until a year or two ago 'cause I only used meditation to relax. It's only since then, after about 20 years of occasional meditation, that I've taken the quietness route and true enough, as someone else said, that it's a matter of, over time, getting the thoughts to disappear for slightly longer times.

Maybe the quietness is the end product of this practise so then it might be better to work from the outside in in the sense that you work on relaxing the body, as in focusing your awareness on each part of your body in turn then possibly working on your breathe and feeling how that works and eventually get to the mind itself.

At the moment I'm working on something where I try and do the same thing that I would normally do with thought using just visualisation. I've working out that intent surfaces from the quietness then I'm using that intent to visualise.

So I might be quiet, as in no thoughts, at the beginning of a meditation so I'm still kinda working to sublimate thoughts, hold them back, and not so deep yet and I might "feel" that I should do some work after the meditation so, without thinking I'll visualise some work that could be done and "watch" the visualisation for how strongly it does or doesn't form...

What I'm saying is that with every form of mastering there's always another step ahead and slowly and efficiently working through them gets you where you wanna go.

I'm not the Dalai Lama but I could say with almost absolute certainty that at some stage in his life he was where I am now and, also with absolute certainty, that he was at the stage, in learning to meditate, that you are now.

As for communing with spirit for answers I think it pays to ponder the purpose of the life you're living through and within that spirit usually works to have the communication within the essential purpose... so if you work with people you'll get lots from random things people say or if your purpose is working with art then you'll develop some interaction within that sphere. I say this because spirit always takes the path of least resistance and that means they'll tune into what you tune into... "now"

[Gem]

Originally Posted by horse lover

Hopefully ill get some clarity. Ive booked a reading with a psychic because i need some guidance here, then maybe i can learn to meditate without the distractions. This man needs to .......politely leave my head.

Actually, you can meditate like I said earlier, it's just not meeting your expectations.

In Zen there is a saying 'In practice there is'... meaning it's the practice itself.

If you become distracted by thoughts, OK, that's the reality as you experience it in this moment, just smilingly return attention to your focus, and if you become distracted again, accept it as the reality of your experience, and again return focus. If in one minute you are distracted 10 times, no problem, return your attention ten times.

[astralsuzy]

That would be very hard trying to meditate when you have a problem like that. I do not think you can be that successful meditating when you have a problem or something is upsetting you. You could try to think of something that makes you feel happy, such as playing a sport, a musical instrument, art or anything that you enjoy doing. That way it will be easier not to think of her. After a while you may be able to meditate a lot easier.

[Gem]

Actually, if those feelings are there, then let them be there. Have no aversion to such feelings, just accept the way you feel and return the attention to the focus.

In my meditations there are times when tears run down my face as I experience hurt feelings. What disturbs the stillness of mind is not feelings of sadness, it is the adverse reaction them... Just accept this feeling is happening now and have no distaste for it.

I can relate on those days that there is just too many random thoughts popping in the mind!! Ugh..

These are those moments that I have to work a little harder to get to that state....here's some things I've done:

When this hapens, sometimes, I just need to do a "brain dump". Get all the random thoughts down on paper, to do lists and all (journal or notepad by the bed seems to work). If there is an emotional blockage (like the ex---gets you all the time)...I will do a purging ritual during a full moon...write down all feelings/emotions that are hindering my clarity on pieces of paper and burn them...then, refill with goodness.

Not saying to wait for the full moon, the burning can be done anytime.

Then---set up your environment---cleanse self (nice bath---start visualizations there...that you are washing away any junk/icky feelings/thoughts with water right down into the darin)...then, set up candles and meditation music....sometimes I have to get the guided visualization/meditation cd's...haha...I know I know...

Thankfully, I'm in a period whereas I don't need those tools...but, hey! I'm human....sometimes I can meditate without any tools and sometimes I need some special tools to get me there....

Good Luck!!! Hoping you are able to get into that state VERY SOON!!!!!

[quote=Kaausti


Not saying to wait for the full moon, the burning can be done anytime.

Then---set up your environment---cleanse self (nice bath---start visualizations there...that you are washing away any junk/icky feelings/thoughts with water right down into the darin)...then, set up candles and meditation music....sometimes I have to get the guided visualization/meditation cd's...haha...I know I know...
Good Luck!!! Hoping you are able to get into that state VERY SOON!!!!![/quote]

Thank you i think i need tools to get me started si i will give this a go.

GEM - thanks, i guess its focus im lacking, i took myself to the fourth dimension where a shark appeared then in the fith i just shed loads of tears, the tears must of been toxic because they burnt my skin, kive never had that before. I dont feel any better for it either. I know the mind is a powerful tool, i will try and keep the focus.

[Gem]

Originally Posted by horse lover

Thank you i think i need tools to get me started si i will give this a go.

GEM - thanks, i guess its focus im lacking, i took myself to the fourth dimension where a shark appeared then in the fith i just shed loads of tears, the tears must of been toxic because they burnt my skin, kive never had that before. I dont feel any better for it either. I know the mind is a powerful tool, i will try and keep the focus.

Sometimes I meditate and remain focused the whole hour, but other times I can't focus for two minutes, but it doesn't matter. If I notice I wandered away I just notice 'oh I wandered' then return to the focus. If I remain focused then ok good. It makes no difference. Sometimes I'm focused and sometimes I'm distracted, and that's just how it is. distraction is just a part of my meditation practice.

The most important thing is ... never become disappointed ... simply accept this distraction is the reality of this moment and return to focus.

If you are able to find a Meditation group nearby, you may find that the "group energy" may be more conducive to a successful meditation. I find my meditation experience can be extremely powerful when in the group setting....start with a beginners group - this will give you some techniques to help with managing your thoughts...different techniques work for different people so try them out and do what resonates with you.

When I first started meditating, the thoughts would always come (thick and fast)..they key for me was to allow them to be there, not judge them and allow them to pass. I agree with previous posts its not so much as stopping the thoughts it's about mastering one's thought process.

Give yourself time, keep at it and dont give up on it.

I run meditation groups now, and everyone generally has this same issue when they start out. It generally takes a few weeks of practice and then they can settle into a meditation almost immediately.

I find guided meditation the best until you master the mediation process and also setting up the environment in which you meditate is a good way to help settle your energy - ie smudge or cleanse the area, light some candles and some incense to raise the vibration, layout crystals (find some that are specifically for meditating)...

Good luck...keep on going with it...meditation is the best gift you can possibly give yourself!

Love & light :)