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Go Back   Spiritual Forums > Spirituality & Beliefs > Non Duality

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  #1  
Old 02-04-2018, 02:05 AM
Bhavani Bhavani is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 21
 
Do I have to like people?

Hi, I am posting in the ND forum as that is where my beliefs lie.
I have kind of had it with liking everyone.
There is a certain notion that spiritual types should deeply love everyone.
Isnt is possible to know that we are a love manifestation, whilst also not liking people?
Of course there is the idea of projection. That what I dislike in another is what needs to be healed in oneself.
And of course to give time to healing a self, only furthers the ignorance.
I like most people. I easily tolerate just about everyone. But I do dislike someone.
I am now moving from: "overcome your dislike, they are another one having a human experience", to...."nah, i dont know why, but I really dislike the that person even though they appear to be harmless, and i will now accept my dislike". It feels better (more correct) to just give up trying to like them when I dont.
Any thoughts?
Obviously I am not at full realization, but appreciate the perspective of you non dualists on this.
TA :)
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  #2  
Old 02-04-2018, 05:04 AM
Rah nam Rah nam is offline
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Location: Melbourne
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I have wondered, since I came back here, what the title: Non Duality stands for. We live in a dualistic Universe and even if we move into the next level of vibration, there is still dualism, just to a lesser degree.
Sorry Bhavani, I know this has very little to do with your post.
Love and like are very different energies. If I like someone then I don't mind sitting down and have a conversation. For me, there is more then 80% of the worlds population I don't like to have a conversation with.
Do I love everyone, as well as everything there is? Certainly.
Do I do this all the time? As long as I am in this reality I have to become aware, and I am not aware all the time. This is the nature of this reality.
And I have to make a conscious connection with at least my soul, who has a connection with a monad who has a connection to source. And this is where the energy we call love originates.
Quite honestly, it is easy to love everyone and everything, but I would not want to like everyone. I am an introvert and I like my peace and quiet.
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  #3  
Old 02-04-2018, 05:29 AM
iamthat iamthat is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: Golden Bay, New Zealand
Posts: 513
 
It is possible to love someone on the level of consciousness while disliking them on the level of personality. And I agree that it may be due to projection - the other person may reflect some aspect of ourselves we have not yet accepted.

This dislike may be due to old karmic connections - even if there is no obvious reason to dislike someone perhaps there is a karmic link that needs to be resolved.

Or there may be some other subtle energy factors which do not resonate regarding yourself and this other person, eg astrological.

Perhaps this person has appeared in your life to teach you something about yourself. If this person is actually causing any difficulties for you then I am a great believer in ho'oponopono, which simply means accepting that we are responsible for all that appears in our life. And if someone is causing us problems we mentally apologise for whatever we might have done to create the situation. It is very simple, but the results can be startling.

But all apparent differences are superficial - when we get beyond them we learn to appreciate qualities in other people who we might originally have considered as difficult.

And from a deeper non-dualistic perspective, it is all Lila, the Divine play of illusion. People are what they are and it doesn't matter how they are. We are all just actors, temporarily playing our parts on a stage, and when the play is over we will pack up and go home.

Peace.
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  #4  
Old 02-04-2018, 08:31 AM
Eelco Eelco is offline
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Sometimes people behave as jerks.
It's fine to not like them.

From a non-dual perspective the same needs drive them as they drive you. There's no duality there.

They just take it to a place which is so different from your values and ideals that they appear incomprehensible from your current perspective.

Accept it and move on. No point in lingering in your dislike..

With Love
Eelco
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  #5  
Old 02-04-2018, 08:44 AM
Bhavani Bhavani is offline
Newbie ;)
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 21
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Eelco
Sometimes people behave as jerks.
It's fine to not like them.

From a non-dual perspective the same needs drive them as they drive you. There's no duality there.

They just take it to a place which is so different from your values and ideals that they appear incomprehensible from your current perspective.

Accept it and move on. No point in lingering in your dislike..

With Love
Eelco

Thank you Eelco. Yes ideals different. I have to live with this person. They don't act like a nasty person. The best I can describe is : it's a vibe thing. I won't try and fix it or encourage it. Acceptance yea 😀 thank you.
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  #6  
Old 02-04-2018, 08:53 AM
Bhavani Bhavani is offline
Newbie ;)
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 21
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by iamthat
It is possible to love someone on the level of consciousness while disliking them on the level of personality. And I agree that it may be due to projection - the other person may reflect some aspect of ourselves we have not yet accepted.

This dislike may be due to old karmic connections - even if there is no obvious reason to dislike someone perhaps there is a karmic link that needs to be resolved.

Or there may be some other subtle energy factors which do not resonate regarding yourself and this other person, eg astrological.

Perhaps this person has appeared in your life to teach you something about yourself. If this person is actually causing any difficulties for you then I am a great believer in ho'oponopono, which simply means accepting that we are responsible for all that appears in our life. And if someone is causing us problems we mentally apologise for whatever we might have done to create the situation. It is very simple, but the results can be startling.

But all apparent differences are superficial - when we get beyond them we learn to appreciate qualities in other people who we might originally have considered as difficult.

And from a deeper non-dualistic perspective, it is all Lila, the Divine play of illusion. People are what they are and it doesn't matter how they are. We are all just actors, temporarily playing our parts on a stage, and when the play is over we will pack up and go home.

Peace.

Thank you I am that! I am glad I asked as the mind uses it as something to grasp to. Better to put a bit of light on it. Interesting you mention subtle energy. Thus is a housemate. When he moved in he took room next door to me. I didn't sleep for 18 nights. I was ragged! ! Took me 14 nights to figure out it started his first night in there. He wasn't noisy at all. My landlady got him to move room and hey presto I slept. They all expected me to not sleep when the next person moved in. I chose the next person. I told them it was an energetic clash but they thought I was nuts and insisted I'd have to soundproof my room!! Not so. I sleep fine even though my new neighbor is a loud snorer! Because the one I dislike is in the house a lot, I end up trying to be out as much as possible. I instantly relax when he is not there. Sometimes I don't know he is not there and notice I've been at peace for hours and then he comes back and I think "aha". Feels so tense all the time when he's here. Maybe it's like magnets repulsing each other.
It could be karmic ties. Who knows?
Anyway thank you for indulging this with your wise words.
It helps my non existent mind to settle! !
Thank you.
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  #7  
Old 02-04-2018, 08:58 AM
Bhavani Bhavani is offline
Newbie ;)
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 21
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rah nam
I have wondered, since I came back here, what the title: Non Duality stands for. We live in a dualistic Universe and even if we move into the next level of vibration, there is still dualism, just to a lesser degree.
Sorry Bhavani, I know this has very little to do with your post.
Love and like are very different energies. If I like someone then I don't mind sitting down and have a conversation. For me, there is more then 80% of the worlds population I don't like to have a conversation with.
Do I love everyone, as well as everything there is? Certainly.
Do I do this all the time? As long as I am in this reality I have to become aware, and I am not aware all the time. This is the nature of this reality.
And I have to make a conscious connection with at least my soul, who has a connection with a monad who has a connection to source. And this is where the energy we call love originates.
Quite honestly, it is easy to love everyone and everything, but I would not want to like everyone. I am an introvert and I like my peace and quiet.

Thank you sincerely Rah nam! ! I am very grateful for your reply. Although I don't exist (!) , I do seem to have opinions and I guess as long as I don't let the opinions create unwanted fluctuations in the mind then all good, it's part of the process.
You have helped me to feel normal. And this in turn aids acceptance of it, exactly how it is. I don't need to change a thing. If dislike is there , then it's there. Same goes for like.
You're very eloquent. Thank you ☺
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  #8  
Old 03-04-2018, 12:28 AM
SaturninePluto SaturninePluto is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: North East united States
Posts: 1,074
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bhavani
Hi, I am posting in the ND forum as that is where my beliefs lie.
I have kind of had it with liking everyone.
There is a certain notion that spiritual types should deeply love everyone.
Isnt is possible to know that we are a love manifestation, whilst also not liking people?
Of course there is the idea of projection. That what I dislike in another is what needs to be healed in oneself.
And of course to give time to healing a self, only furthers the ignorance.
I like most people. I easily tolerate just about everyone. But I do dislike someone.
I am now moving from: "overcome your dislike, they are another one having a human experience", to...."nah, i dont know why, but I really dislike the that person even though they appear to be harmless, and i will now accept my dislike". It feels better (more correct) to just give up trying to like them when I dont.
Any thoughts?
Obviously I am not at full realization, but appreciate the perspective of you non dualists on this.
TA :)

Sometimes, imo, it is better to finally give in to how we feel, and allow ourselves to feel what it is we are really feeling. Without blame for ourselves, but with the simple realization that no matter how we may try to fake it, this is truly how we currently feel.

It brings us relief, imo, when we come to realize, we are most certainly not obligated to like everyone, to be spiritual.

It is of my belief that it is actually much more spiritual to be honest with oneself, even if we are told by others what it is we are feeling is not in their eyes "good".

I have learned many lessons from my darker emotions, including the lesson that I do not have to like everyone to be spiritual, neither do I actually even have to be nice all the time necessarily. It is said the truth will set us free.

I find self realization, and honesty about it, refreshing.

Embracing that side of ourselves, that thinks- "I find this person irritating, or annoying, or very angry".

When I feel these feelings myself, I respect myself still at the end of the night, because I was honest with myself.

I don't have to go and tell the person "Hey I don't like you"! But as well, to myself I need hold to no illusion of how I truly feel.

Hoping you come to terms with this.

And come to see in time, that there is truly no blame here. Not for yourself or the other.

All my best.
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  #9  
Old 03-04-2018, 01:00 AM
Iamit Iamit is offline
Guide
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: West Wales. u.k
Posts: 684
 
If the question is considered from the perspective of you as a person who is chosing then yes all the considerations you refer to come into play. If however the question is considered from the perspective of all happening by and to itself then the problem disappears. But for that to happen there needs to be a resonance with the idea "All is One" and that that Oneness is that "itself" and what is posing the problem and doing the considering.

Either way nothing needs to change from that nondual perspective, for each proposition is the other and the One Love in action dreaming difference where there is none.
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  #10  
Old 03-04-2018, 01:08 AM
innerlight innerlight is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 7,845
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Eelco
Sometimes people behave as jerks.
It's fine to not like them.


Eelco

If a person behaves as a jerk, as you say, is it the person you dislike or their behavior?
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Life never goes the way we expect it to, but always takes us where we need to be.
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