What is your idea/s of being "Good"

Loving and respecting everyone wholeheartedly is a very hard thing to do, that's why we have prisons - for those that don't want to acknowledge and correct their negative ways. We don't know how else to deal with the negativity if they don't want to change.

but you can still have enough love and respect for someone who wrongs you by hoping that they do change for the better. It's completely natural to feel anger towards them, it's just foolish to act on that anger.

[linen53]

Originally Posted by Black Sheep

Can you extrapolate? I can identify with your statement but not your question(or meaning thereof). :)

For those who are dealing with the pain of life--they are programmed to deflect and protect. That might mean stepping on toes and might come across as bad but maybe not; they may be only reacting according to the way they have learned to protect themselves and their family from the woes of life and society.

Basically they might be very good people but if you are comparing then to some of the answers in this thread they may not measure up.

I think we judge others by their actions, and we judge ourselves from our intentions. So if your intentions are good i believe your a good person. I try to always look out for the interest in others so that their experience when they are around me can be as welcoming as it can be.

But there has to be balance of course.

Being good means seeing through the eyes of a child and respecting and honoring what is seen.

Also of course, the "golden rule". Treat others the way you yourself want to be treated.

YOY

Originally Posted by R6YALFITZ

I think we judge others by their actions, and we judge ourselves from our intentions. So if your intentions are good i believe your a good person. I try to always look out for the interest in others so that their experience when they are around me can be as welcoming as it can be.

But there has to be balance of course.

You mean goodness balanced with evil? Such a balance will never work because evil will always try to defeat goodness as long as evil exists. This is why it is the Destiny of Goodness to destroy evil.

Originally Posted by LightofOurAge

You mean goodness balanced with evil? Such a balance will never work because evil will always try to defeat goodness as long as evil exists. This is why it is the Destiny of Goodness to destroy evil.

lets change evil- 'hatred' evil is only what you make it

I see your side

I believe this world is filled with good and bad energy (not necessarily 'evil') - law of attraction applies here.

but you kinda said 'balance' without doing so...

"the bad wants the good to be bad, and the good wants the bad to be good."

[Black Sheep]

@Lorelyen, & Tanemon, Thank you for your support, it's nice to see how I was projecting my own beliefs/fear. I'm still learning quite a bit, and it helps. :)

@Gemcrusader, I understand what you are trying to say. I remember the healing effect in believing there is evil/bad and good. So rather than try and convert me to your view, why not take your view even further and try and understand why you feel the way you do, dig in, don't stop. It may be fun. :) Anyway, thanks!

For those who are dealing with the pain of life--they are programmed to deflect and protect. That might mean stepping on toes and might come across as bad but maybe not; they may be only reacting according to the way they have learned to protect themselves and their family from the woes of life and society.

Basically they might be very good people but if you are comparing then to some of the answers in this thread they may not measure up.

True.

So from my own experience and understanding thereof, the programming is a choice, and I will further state that those of chaotic or violent childhoods are no exception(but merely an extreme expression of the norm). I've found many to be "trapped" or plateaued in those programs or belief systems, but it does serve it's purpose(an can be a point of healing for the person in question). That perspective is more of a response, or projection of one's own standing, rather implicit of the nature of the person in question. So back to 1st person perspective...when it no longer serves it's purpose the person will have an inner pull for something greater or more inline with it's nature. There will be a creation of events, in subsequent greater escalation of repetition of events until that point that person is shaken out of their belief, or in other words, until it's at that point the person can no longer deny to themselves the nature of their reality.

Coming from an outside looking in perspective, they may be stepping on toes, but there are mitigating factors one can place to help. So to take the analogy stepping on toes, if the person, merely anticipates the misstep, and shifts their foot, no toes will be stepped on. But let's say, one still get's their toes steps on, a non-reaction is most beneficial to those still learning, or response of/in an understanding nature.

Those still healing, I liken to burn victims, but on an internal level rather than on perhaps the visible external, it may be painful for them to receive a hug, but understanding can be interpreted as love nonetheless(as understanding leads to compassion). It provides them the plane to heal.

Another analogy would be that of a rock, those that have grown in those painful environments are akin to ships, tossed about the sea of life, they will anchor their sense of self on other boats which is quite unstable, they have yet to find that inner rock of Self. They may have holes in their hull, sprung several leaks, lots of weight(baggage), not aware of the workings of a boat. Other ships may be sturdier, carrying less baggage, perhaps a rudder to guide them. When we each seek and find that inner rock of Self, and become self-balanced rather than externally focus and stable(which is an illusion), we become incredibly stable. A ship, tossing their anchor this way or that, will not affect the person anchored onto the rock of Self. If they hook their anchor onto our ship, we won't be pulled into their direction, or tossed about as well, but instead hold an intrinsic stability(they may not see it as it's beneath the surface), but irregardless, it provides them the medium to fully focus on themselves rather than worry about anything we may add to their ship.

So through seeking and working with Self, one can not only provide the platform for those others, but also, they will choose less extreme forms of expression as they are working solely on their stuff. There is an interplay that goes on between people. And rather then having to sort through their stuff and those of others as well(such as projections), it provides them(anyone) more clarity of space so to speak(and express themselves fully and safely).

So one person can make a difference in many lives. There may be those beliefs of what is good or bad, but it won't hold weight with the compassion of one person.

[Gemcrusader]

@Blacksheep

i dont really see how i would convert u to my view. Im just wondering how u would call the action i described.
What u do to others impacts urself as well. So doing harm doesnt do good to urself. The word good doesnt have to be a judgement as i think u might perceive it.
And mayb i allready do what u suggested.

[linen53]

Originally Posted by Black Sheep

So from my own experience and understanding thereof, the programming is a choice, and I will further state that those of chaotic or violent childhoods are no exception(but merely an extreme expression of the norm). I've found many to be "trapped" or plateaued in those programs or belief systems, but it does serve it's purpose(an can be a point of healing for the person in question). That perspective is more of a response, or projection of one's own standing, rather implicit of the nature of the person in question. So back to 1st person perspective...when it no longer serves it's purpose the person will have an inner pull for something greater or more inline with it's nature. There will be a creation of events, in subsequent greater escalation of repetition of events until that point that person is shaken out of their belief, or in other words, until it's at that point the person can no longer deny to themselves the nature of their reality.

Coming from an outside looking in perspective, they may be stepping on toes, but there are mitigating factors one can place to help. So to take the analogy stepping on toes, if the person, merely anticipates the misstep, and shifts their foot, no toes will be stepped on. But let's say, one still get's their toes steps on, a non-reaction is most beneficial to those still learning, or response of/in an understanding nature.

Those still healing, I liken to burn victims, but on an internal level rather than on perhaps the visible external, it may be painful for them to receive a hug, but understanding can be interpreted as love nonetheless(as understanding leads to compassion). It provides them the plane to heal.

Another analogy would be that of a rock, those that have grown in those painful environments are akin to ships, tossed about the sea of life, they will anchor their sense of self on other boats which is quite unstable, they have yet to find that inner rock of Self. They may have holes in their hull, sprung several leaks, lots of weight(baggage), not aware of the workings of a boat. Other ships may be sturdier, carrying less baggage, perhaps a rudder to guide them. When we each seek and find that inner rock of Self, and become self-balanced rather than externally focus and stable(which is an illusion), we become incredibly stable. A ship, tossing their anchor this way or that, will not affect the person anchored onto the rock of Self. If they hook their anchor onto our ship, we won't be pulled into their direction, or tossed about as well, but instead hold an intrinsic stability(they may not see it as it's beneath the surface), but irregardless, it provides them the medium to fully focus on themselves rather than worry about anything we may add to their ship.

So through seeking and working with Self, one can not only provide the platform for those others, but also, they will choose less extreme forms of expression as they are working solely on their stuff. There is an interplay that goes on between people. And rather then having to sort through their stuff and those of others as well(such as projections), it provides them(anyone) more clarity of space so to speak(and express themselves fully and safely).

So one person can make a difference in many lives. There may be those beliefs of what is good or bad, but it won't hold weight with the compassion of one person.

You have described my journey on this lifetime to a T. Very messed up youth and chaotic (tossed in the sea) early and mid adulthood, but I finally found the right environment and have since healed and flourished.

Sometimes we look at the outer shell and actions and think this person is not exhibiting goodness.

For me I planned the messy childhood way beyond normal abuse because in many previous lifetimes my obstacles were not big enough and I would easily skirt around or ignore them. So my choice in this lifetime was to make multiple gigantic obstacles that I could not ignore this time. Quite honestly I almost did not make the recovery.

I will never be one to exhibit goodness in the normal sense. I am a tough person because of my battles and scars. I take life seriously and have very little time for play, but as I look back at my life I see so much spiritual progress and when it is time for me to lay down my mantle I can honestly look into the (figurative) eyes of the Creator and say 'I may not be where I want to be, but I have come a very long way and did the best that I could...truly. I am proud to stand before you with this life completed to my satisfaction.'

We are the sum total of our experiences. The laughter, the tears and our dark self. When I can embrace The full me (I'm working on that) then I will find the love of myself that I desire.

[Black Sheep]

[However, lets say im lookin for a girl to hook up with, but my true intention is to eventually let her work for me as a hooker. Aka loverboy.
It still is, but i wouldnt categorize that as good.]
i dont really see how i would convert u to my view. Im just wondering how u would call the action i described.

Okay, I'll play. Thank you for clarifying. I'm going to say there are some semantics at play here, I'll toss them aside momentarily. It sounds that perhaps we are coming from two different points of origin in perspective, hence the dichotomy, which may complicate matters.

I'm describing more of a psychological doppler effect, as well as perhaps one may call a different means of focusing or obtaining information then perhaps what you may be familiar with.

I'll try and proceed more carefully in that light, as well as weave my response to the tone of the OP(in respect to the integrity of the thread). So I'm hearing you say you question how one would label said situation, through the whatnameyou belief system/perpective? As in a yeah, but here's an extreme example, exception kinda thing.

In short, I would label it in a similar manner, just as I did before, inheritanly neutral or is for short. If you are asking if I just naturally jump to that, not in all cases, no. But I've come to understand why I would view something as good or bad, and am aware of my choice in the matter, if I so choose to lean in such a way. That may sound bad to some or most(depends), but to me it's good. :P

What u do to others impacts urself as well. So doing harm doesnt do good to urself. The word good doesnt have to be a judgement as i think u might perceive it.
And mayb i allready do what u suggested.

Hmm...okay. There still seems like a *bit* of judgement going on here, presuppositions, and I really like to stay away from implications, I find that it tends to be messy and loaded. I'll still play for now though.

Anyway, there's alot going on your post, so what I hear you saying:
Is that the whatnameyou typology, that it(or I) implies that there is no impact on one's self? Or rephrased softly, that there are personal(as well as interpersonal) implications I am overlooking. That I am implying that there is no interaction between people. Perhaps that there is pointing out a lack of foresight on my part as well? Do you feel that was a fair assessment?

The word good doesnt have to be a judgement as i think u might perceive it.

I'm interested, can you demonstrate?

You have described my journey on this lifetime to a T. Very messed up youth and chaotic (tossed in the sea) early and mid adulthood, but I finally found the right environment and have since healed and flourished.

Sometimes we look at the outer shell and actions and think this person is not exhibiting goodness.

For me I planned the messy childhood way beyond normal abuse because in many previous lifetimes my obstacles were not big enough and I would easily skirt around or ignore them. So my choice in this lifetime was to make multiple gigantic obstacles that I could not ignore this time. Quite honestly I almost did not make the recovery.

I will never be one to exhibit goodness in the normal sense. I am a tough person because of my battles and scars. I take life seriously and have very little time for play, but as I look back at my life I see so much spiritual progress and when it is time for me to lay down my mantle I can honestly look into the (figurative) eyes of the Creator and say 'I may not be where I want to be, but I have come a very long way and did the best that I could...truly. I am proud to stand before you with this life completed to my satisfaction.'

We are the sum total of our experiences. The laughter, the tears and our dark self. When I can embrace The full me (I'm working on that) then I will find the love of myself that I desire.

Wow, really inspiring! Thank you for the courage to write that! Seriously!