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Old 14-04-2018, 04:26 AM
Khalli Khalli is offline
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: Northern California
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How about we all live with no labels, attachments, or masks and just be!
Rely upon yourself, be independent, and live your life being humble and grateful for all lessons and blessings.

Live simply, walk humbly, Love genuinely and all good will come back to you!
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Old 14-04-2018, 05:10 AM
bluedahlia bluedahlia is offline
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Posts: 19
Originally Posted by Khalli
How about we all live with no labels, attachments, or masks and just be!

Ultimately, this is the best way to be!

Be true to oneself 💙

Last edited by bluedahlia : 14-04-2018 at 09:02 AM.
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Old 14-04-2018, 09:29 AM
Lorelyen Lorelyen is offline
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 7,131
Originally Posted by Khalli
How about we all live with no labels, attachments, or masks and just be!

Communication would be almost impossible. You wouldn't be able to speak or write. Every noun is called something, a label. Every verb is a label for an action. The words themselves are symbols for concepts. They exist in our brains in a semantical hierarchy. Adjectives and adverbs exist to help make them specific and they too are labels. Most pictures are labels.

So maybe you're right. If we lived without labels the world would be a lot quieter, calmer place. We couldn't acknowledge each other as easily and our relationships would be very basic... but is that so bad?

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Old 14-04-2018, 11:25 AM
bluedahlia bluedahlia is offline
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Hello Lorelyen :) Is that your real name? If so, to me it's very unique as I don't hear or see it often. It sounds lovely when saying it out loud. Beautiful name. Khalli is nice also :)

It's amazing how we all see the same thing but perceive it differently. I interpreted Khalli's comment to be taken in a more general sense and not literally. For me, I understood it as simply accepting all in their entirety and letting them be as is - Letting go of attachments, expecting nothing and appreciating everything.

Let it go, let it flow 💙
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Old 15-04-2018, 02:37 PM
Aldous Aldous is offline
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 506
Some cosmic poetry and music from some beatnik friends of mine.

Existential Espresso Emporium
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Old 15-04-2018, 08:15 PM
Saoirse Walker Saoirse Walker is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2018
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Curious, I took an attachment style test and discovered that I'm 57% secure and 28% avoidant. But judging by the questions I think its possible for people who are more aromantic and asexual, like I am, to appear a little bit avoidant on this test without that being the actual case. It has to do with a disinterest in relationships due to finding the rest of life more rewarding and exciting, and not really feeling like I need a relationship yet. For many years I had more happiness with what I could provide for myself than relationships which seemed to my observation to have their share of difficulties.

When I had my experience I wanted to leave behind my always-single preference and build a relationship with someone. I had eventually seen that those in relationships around me had unique opportunities for growth. I found that with him, who I actually had feelings for, I was able to express my love and not avoid.

In the end it was he who left me and I who had a broken heart.

I'm not sure that we can psychoanalyse the twin flame community. When people still thought soulmates were the ultimate connection I remember there were a lot of girls who would romanticize a crush as being their possible soulmate. Now twin flame is the label used when trying to express the ultimate find, but you can't know there's a higher connection if you've never had one. Meaning it's easy to think you have the best connection ever if you've never had a better one.

I think, however, there are a lot of people who have had a legitimate supernatural experience and don't know what to call it. And it's an off-the-charts love that you don't know how to leave behind, and astronomical intimacy that makes you aware of what it feels like to be merged and how single it feels to be separate. It's nothing to be ashamed of. It just takes growth and healing to put it all into perspective again---because you have to adapt to the universe being hugely different than before you knew of this level of connection and love. You have to learn how to adapt to new experiences and if there's loss, there is pain, too, during that adaptation.
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Old 16-04-2018, 01:22 PM
ForgedInFire ForgedInFire is offline
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 773
Everyone has an attachment style. There are NO EXCEPTIONS. I find it interesting that some people got triggered and try to place my observation of others 'twin flame experience" as my "experience'. Well thats common when others question the blind followers of this twin flame cult religion. all that have anxious attachment style are the "chasers" you can even tell by their constant obsession of the other person and the endless why why why about the other person and "signs". The ones who are avoidant are the "runners". The cowards who avoid the other and give nothing but crumbs to keep them strung along on the backburner.

Even if that other person is actually a "twin flame" they still have an avoidant attachment style and sorry.. no pipe dream of "divine intervention" and false hope will change that for them. It is only IF that person actually wants to change will try to make those changes..but as long as all the anxious attachment women keep living the lie of being 'unconditionally loving" to mr avoidant.. things will never change with these women coddling those people like helpless children.
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Old 16-04-2018, 01:38 PM
ForgedInFire ForgedInFire is offline
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Really.. 1017 views? this forum section doesnt even have that many active members on it. Looks like drama seekers and the desperate wannabe twin flame women out there scavenge info from this forum as i pretty much figured already. The very reasons i share almost nothing of mine here.
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Old 06-05-2018, 02:39 AM
emeraldheart emeraldheart is offline
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Posts: 1,310
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Anxious avoidance

Originally Posted by ForgedInFire
So i've been thinking lately about how someone can mistake a person for being a "twin flame".

We all know the same old tired and over played out "story"

Hes with someone else and wont leave that person for me.
He only gives "crumbs" and withdraws again.
Hes a runner

He he he. obsess obsess obsess. hes my twin flame! Ive never felt like this about anybody before.. blah blah blah

For far too long "twin flame teachers" have been enabling too many people who have an anxious/avoidant attachment relationship to think "he's my twin flame"

This is a well documented occurrence that all human being have. It is also biologically hardwired in all humans.


I think it is no coincidence that far too many things between anxious/avoidant attachment relationships and "twin flames" are exactly the same.

It is no coincidence that we are seeing the very same happening in the "twin flame" community as what is outlined in the video.

The only difference is one is thoroughly documented and researched while the other is some spiritually branded made up "theory" with no proof of any kind other then "feelings" and "signs"

so what do you think about "twin flames" now huh?

I see so many out there saying there "no logical explanation" for what these so called "twin flames" are experiencing..but there actually is.. anxious/avoidant attachment relationships. And there is nothing "twin flame" about it at all.

I'm reading a book at the moment... It is helping keep to heal the patterns of attachment which I inherited as a result of my childhood experiences.

I have a anxious avoidance ... It is often more of a non attachment style... Haha There are a few different types of unhealthy attachment styles... Anxious attachment is just one way unhealthy attachment expresses itself.
My attachment style is a result of having absent parents who are also have no healthy model of relationships to pass on to their children.

Avoidant attachers are probably those who term thenselves as 'runners' in the TF groups.

Attachment styles are learned coping behaviours from parent/caregiver child relationships.

Anxious avoidance and Co - dependence are actually two distinct things in my experience.

Anxious attachment expresses more like Co -dependancy where as anxious avoidance folk are more likely to try and be fiercely independent as they do not trust others to support them.

I have a long pattern of anxious avoidance where I learned from childhood that it is simply
Not safe to rely or trust anyone... Not even myself.

This use resulted in a pattern of anxious avoidance in all of my relationships including friendships where I would automatically push people away as my learned attachment style was that my needs would go unmet... And worse still I was actually not even safe enough to ask for help.

Rather than Co - dependance this actually caused me to become so firecly independent that it became detrimental to me.

The thing with anxious avoidance is the one who is anxious needs to he able to connect intimately with others but they are fearful because of the very real past experiences of having their needs outrightly rejected as children.

When a child has not had healthy attachments modeled to them they lack a mirror and without that mirror at key developmental stages there is quite literally nothing reflected back to the child... No point of reference to help them develop an independent identity... No validation from their caregivers and so they then learn that it is not safe to be themselves, or when they are themselves they are met with nothing (neglect) or worse yet... rejection of who they are.

Anxious avoidance is quite a diacotomy of experience and should not be confused with Co - dependence... Anxiously avoidant people have learnt that they cannot be reliant on others.

I just wanted to provide a little bit of insight about anxious avoidance in contrast to anxious attachment just in case it helps someone...

It is actually most often due to a severe lack of parental expression of love, support and rejection which imprints a child with this kind of attachment style...

It is something which requires compassion to heal from... It is important that people with anxious avoidance style acknowledge the pain and loss they feel and begin to find support to build positive attachment styles as adults.

Last edited by emeraldheart : 06-05-2018 at 07:34 AM.
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Old 06-05-2018, 07:55 AM
emeraldheart emeraldheart is offline
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Originally Posted by Khalli
How about we all live with no labels, attachments, or masks and just be!

Anxious attachment is a series of behaviours imprinted from one's childhood.

In psychology it helps those who have experienced childhood neglect, abandonment or abuse to understand why they struggle to have and maintain healthy relationships as adults.

It is a relatively new term... But so is the recognition of the long term effects of parental neglect....

If you are someone who has had these experiences you often end up with no sense of self or awareness of how to be in a healthy connection...

It can be a very empowering label for some as it helps to make sense of these experiences and the imprinting from them and then as a result can help to provide a framework for healing.
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