Have you had to deal with jealousy with SC/TF?

I feel like my TF & I try to make each other jealous sometimes as a test or to "prove" our feelings are genuine. It seems like we both see this as reassurance, which I know is not healthy.

We've both had serious trust issues from past relationships & wonder if this is a huge part of why we connected - to realize our own worth & let go of jealousy & completely trust that we won't betray one another...?

Tonight, for example, he was acting jealous because I'm out of town for the weekend. Then I think he tried to make me jealous by saying he was in town (where I live). Once I assured him I was not meeting another guy, he was back to normal & doing some mega-flirting & we had a deep conversation.

When I've confessed something major to him (ie. first time I said I loved him), he relaxes & initially opens up more. Today I told him I've cried more over him in the last four months than I have the last forty years before him - and since then he has been texting. Tomorrow he'll probably go silent again...

Wow, no, I don't have the energy to play those kind of games. Frankly, I don't see why anyone would feel the need to be jealous towards me--I'm a pretty straightforward person in my dealings with others.

As for my own feelings, I've had to really work through my deep fears that may manifest as jealousy. I think in past lives I've seen how these jealousy games and power plays can go really, really wrong and in this life it wouldn't occur to me to try to romantically game someone for the sake of "testing" whether my partner were faithful to me...because that kind of thing ends up backfiring and creates more dishonesty in them, rather than making them run to you like you hoped for.

Anyway, erm...if my partner acted the way you described in the OP, I would sit him down and explain why it's entirely unnecessary. And if he allowed his fears to dominate his behavior towards me like that, well...I just don't have the energy to deal with it.

[Impulsv]

Whenever I'm the feeling of making him jealous came up I quickly remember why would I want to hurt him by the game so I've never done it. I don't want to cause any pain whatsoever. It doesn't mean I haven't had it come up but why do that harming him as it is harming me. Example after being rejected he unexpectedly emailed my first thought was I'm not responding Xmas day ill make him wait. But then I'm overwhelmed n think why would I want to cause anxiety for him and xmas vomes once so I texted.

[VanillaRayne]

Mine has a girlfriend so I'm learning to release all my jealousy. It's not always easy, but almost nothing about this process is. Sometimes he will bring her up in conversation, I play it normal, but I'm not sure if he's doing it to test my reaction or not (however, once in a great while I will do things to test HIS reaction, I always get the same poker face I give him). Honestly I don't care because he's not going to get one from me.
I'm not sure if he gets jealous with me because sometimes he will call me up, ask me what I'm doing, if I'm busy, where I am, etc, then will claim he has business to discuss with me. Well that call back about the business never comes, and when I call him back, he usually says never mind. I think it's his covert way of checking in on me. In all honesty, if he's in a relationship it should be none of his business what I'm doing or where I am, but I get it on some level.

Absofreakinglutely.

Lucky it doesn't happen that often. Not that I put a lot of importance on signs but we are the two most jealous signs in the zodiac. We also feel secure in each others jealousy but it doesn't work.
What happens is I'll talk about a male, he'll get jealous and provoke mine by saying how he picked up when he went out, I'll get upset then he'll get remorseful and smooth the waters.

But you need to ask yourself if you're willing to destroy what you have from this emotion.
From one simple remark that I took out of context, it fueled a jealous fire Which I hurt him with which almost destroyed our bond.
would you be ready to say goodbye because of a stupid moment?

After a separation period we are slowly getting back on track and both have learned our lesson I think.
It doesn't mean my jealousy with him no longer bubbles....it's more a case of dealing with it in a more mature and constructive manner.

And trust. Half the time I get upset because in my mind I have magnified his situation when there was no harm there..

I have to say my TF and I don't really do the "jealousy" thing! Though my TF has shown his protective/territorial "alpha male" side a couple of times, lol! Other than that, I don't have any reason to feel like I need to be jealous of any other female my TF talks to, etc...he is a very much a loner, and often thinks that I want too much of his time....I know he absolutely won't try to make time for anyone else, because most of the time he simply wants to be left alone!!!

Originally Posted by sesheta

I have to say my TF and I don't really do the "jealousy" thing! Though my TF has shown his protective/territorial "alpha male" side a couple of times, lol! Other than that, I don't have any reason to feel like I need to be jealous of any other female my TF talks to, etc...he is a very much a loner, and often thinks that I want too much of his time....I know he absolutely won't try to make time for anyone else, because most of the time he simply wants to be left alone!!!

Hahaha, this is exactly why no partner of mine ever needs to be jealous. They know exactly where I'd be, hiding from people!

Hmmmm the good ole green eyed monster....

Love as we know it is based on the old paradigm of loving - it is with ownership, possessiveness, guilt, control, power - eg you are mine no one else can have you.

Well that's all just about to fall apart for those going thru this experience - these connections are to move us beyond those initial thoughts of 'love' of the old way and into the new way of love without all that negative **.

You will most likely be taken thru every single one of those feelings - be forced to make a choice - let go or accept...let go - hmmm yes we all know how easy that is lol so we accept - not bad behavior but the fact that we love BEYOND those silly ideas we once had of love and our entitlements.

I see no point in having jealousy with my twin - I love him beyond owning or possessing him lol even if he is never to be 'mine' I will still love him...we have never really showed jealousy towards each other - actions may trigger old reactive feelings - but it never manifests because that fleeting feeling is replaced with love immediately.

Hahaha, this is exactly why no partner of mine ever needs to be jealous. They know exactly where I'd be, hiding from people!

--- Must be a Virgo thing!!! ----

So far, no. This is one of the reasons why I always felt we both needed to mature before coming together in the way that we have. This way there is no need for the games.