Three years since we first met

[Aloneyetnot]

Three years ago this month, I met my tf in person for the first time. We were online friends for 12 years before meeting (mainly because I was nervous. I think deep down I knew meeting him would be something big. And it was.) I remember driving home after first meeting him, and feeling both equally shocked and not-at-all surprised by how well we hit it off. I felt like I had found home. I missed him as soon as I left.

It's funny how people remember different things. I remember the exact days and years that we hung out. What the weather was like. What we laughed about. He remembers specific things I said and what we both wore. I suppose between the two of us, we remember every detail.


It feels like both... yesterday and a lifetime ago.
The rough days are fewer and far between. But lately, it's rough.
I wonder if he remembers the significance of this week. Or not. It really doesn't matter, does it?

We spoke about a month ago. We speak on his terms. I just feel like this is all so unfinished. And I'm not even sure what I mean by that... "unfinished". It's like a book that doesn't have an actual ending, you're left hanging, wondering what will happen next. I just keep thinking, "Now what? What next?"

Maybe something. Maybe nothing. I will continue trying to not care.

Back to living life. I just needed to get it out somewhere. So thanks.