Turned Off by Tone

IsleWalker · #1 08-02-2012, 06:13 PM

There have always been people on this forum who seem to adopt a tone of "preaching to the masses"--even from the beginning of their membership here. There is a feeling of being a one-way conversation--dispensing knowledge.

I've always tended to just avoid/not read those kind of postings.

This may be my issue but in my mind I am wondering why some people just assume a superiority, a preaching-down-to attitude. You can tell the posts because there is no implied question at all. It begins with "statements of fact" --about how things are, should be, etc.

I think that if Jesus, Buddha, any religious figure--were on this forum, they would approach people one-at-a-time, addressing questions as people have them.

Does one not have to have a student before one becomes a teacher? Aren't we all both student and teacher? There is no superiority implied between student and teacher because it always goes both ways--the teacher learns from the student and vice versa.

Then what makes certain people feel...entitled enough to make pronouncements? Usually no question prompts it.

These people often re-cycle their "wisdom" through the boards. There is wisdom in the interchanges between people and great things can happen in them. But taking ownership of those exchanges, to me, doesn't honor the people who participated in the interactions or the energy that was present during the interchanges. It may not mean something to someone else at a later time.

Yes, there is a need to pass on knowledge. I just think it has to be asked for before it is put out there.

Am I out of line for thinking this way?

IsleWalker - Lora

P.S. Or perhaps the answer is to separate "Resource Materials" from "Questions / Discussion" ?

WhiteWarrior · #2 08-02-2012, 06:36 PM

Not out of line. Since I joined here I have seen a lot of people posting half a chapter of claimed wisdom in their first post, and continuing like that in many of the following ones. Those, I avoid - and I certainly don't read their stuff.

sound · #3 08-02-2012, 06:47 PM

I think we can all come across as a bit preachy, or over assertive, or a little too know it all 'ish' at times, even you and I Lora ... the mind body spirit thread comes to mind for me, when it appeared you were needling Squatch for whatever reason ... I feel it is also worthy to note that intent (of ones posts) can be completely misinterpreted simply because 'voice tone' is absent, which, as you are probably aware, accounts for approximately 70% of communication ... this is especially difficult for people who are very matter of fact and straight forward in their communication style ... offline the sincerity of their offerings is most likely crystal clear ...

#4 08-02-2012, 06:48 PM

Not quite clear what you mean by "making pronouncements"....
The way I look at these posts is certainly as a place of learning and sharing. I have never read a post from anyone claiming to be an "expert" in anything...but if someone has asked for advise, or an opinion, isn't that what people are giving when they post a response?
I agree that in learning, both the student and the teacher learn - that is a very wise statement:)
However - I also believe that, when you are just learning or experiencing something for the first time, it is nice to get the advise/opinions of someone who has 'been there, done that'! Kind of like learning to drive - if you're getting behind the wheel of a car for the first time - would you prefer your teacher to be someone who has only been driving themselves for 2 weeks, and has never driven in bad weather, never had a flat tire, etc, etc...or would you want to be taught by someone who has been driving for 20 years, in all kinds of road conditions, etc?
I don't think that people intend to come off as "preaching" - but experience has to count for something, don't you think, lol!
Just my way of looking at things :)

IsleWalker · #5 08-02-2012, 06:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sesheta

Not quite clear what you mean by "making pronouncements"....
The way I look at these posts is certainly as a place of learning and sharing. I have never read a post from anyone claiming to be an "expert" in anything...but if someone has asked for advise, or an opinion, isn't that what people are giving when they post a response?
I agree that in learning, both the student and the teacher learn - that is a very wise statement:)
However - I also believe that, when you are just learning or experiencing something for the first time, it is nice to get the advise/opinions of someone who has 'been there, done that'! Kind of like learning to drive - if you're getting behind the wheel of a car for the first time - would you prefer your teacher to be someone who has only been driving themselves for 2 weeks, and has never driven in bad weather, never had a flat tire, etc, etc...or would you want to be taught by someone who has been driving for 20 years, in all kinds of road conditions, etc?
I don't think that people intend to come off as "preaching" - but experience has to count for something, don't you think, lol!
Just my way of looking at things :)

Sesheta--

I think you might have misinterpreted my meaning. I don't have any problem with anyone posting in response to a question. It is when posts are offered without anyone asking the question, and without the poster asking a question. That's when I turn off.

Lora

IsleWalker · #6 08-02-2012, 06:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sound

I think we can all come across as a bit preachy, or over assertive, or a little too know it all 'ish' at times, even you and I Lora ... the mind body spirit thread comes to mind for me, when it appeared you were needling Squatch for whatever reason ... I feel it is also worthy to note that intent (of ones posts) can be completely misinterpreted simply because 'voice tone' is absent, which, as you are probably aware, accounts for approximately 70% of communication ... this is especially difficult for people who are very matter of fact and straight forward in their communication style ... offline the sincerity of their offerings is most likely crystal clear ...

Sound--

I know exactly the interchange you're talking about. It was, however, in response to a question, not just offered without request. It did go further than she asked, and did include my own opinions about things in the past.

It was, however, discussion in the manner that it is intended on these boards. You're free to have and express your opinion about what is "too preachy" or "too opinionated".

What I am objecting to is unsolicited "wisdom".

Lora

sound · #7 08-02-2012, 07:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by IsleWalker

What I am objecting to is unsolicited "wisdom".

Lora

Ok ... well just dismiss my post as same then ... if it helps you to support your claim ...

lemex · #8 08-02-2012, 07:15 PM

This is something that was once important. This use to bother me so much, I would say too much. I think a person can be bothered too much and it can interfere with what you can hear if you listen. Everyone has to learn, even if you don't feel you have to.

I think there's value there. Every person shares and that's what's happening. In fact I appreciate they care, they have good intentions. You know I find enlightenment even there if I don't reject. I always find things I agree with. This is an opportunity for everyone.

I now enjoy speaking with everyone and I (try) treat all as equals. Allow the persons attitude to affect and realize other things said will affect you in what and how you accept. A friend once told me it's isn't that important you lose your balance but how quickly you can regain it. And truthfully isn't is amazing that one gets upset merely by the perception of what we deem attitude. It may not even be real. Sincerely, maybe this is what another needs to hear, not what you need to hear. We are all at different levels and likewise do we really want control and limit what to say. It's something to practice with and use to.

Lastly, consider maybe they need to say it.

There is a lot of positive there to. In truth, I've learned a lot from just those people. There is knowledge everywhere and many paths and many ways to say the same thing.

I don't consider it important these days having been there and done that. I don't know if I'm considered in this group but I do believe in sharing. Sharing has been said to lessen the time to learn or awakening. But if I ever make a statement and if I ever change my mind about some thing I said I promise to tell you and let you know. Would any here who think they know be committed to this. This would satisfy me because I've felt this to. I have to have faith it would be done but this stuff takes so long. I've come to see that a person can live an entire life one way. It's a good thing we have many.

But the promise. If you find you ever change your mind would you tell me.

#9 08-02-2012, 07:36 PM

I empathize HeyMA, as I know that I've been in both positions (turned off by the unsolicited wisdom and a follower of the poster of such...) They don't help me much but I keep in mind that they might be helping someone, even if it means becoming turned off by the new preacher. Kind of like an AA meeting? I'm not an alcoholic so the meetings don't really benefit me but they might be benefitting someone who is an alcoholic. *shrugs*

The flip of that is that I get the feeling that in these posts, these people are trying to explore themselves (which has its pros and cons...) and so in that sense I just leave them to explore and share ever so often.

lemex · #10 08-02-2012, 07:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Prinie

.... They don't help me much but I keep in mind that they might be helping someone. The flip of that is that I get the feeling that in these posts, these people are trying to explore themselves ...... explore and share ever so often.

Very powerful idea and statement and what I was trying to say. Hope I haven't taken it out of context.

Sorry about over-sharing......