Haiku for Sean 3/3/87 ~ 2/14/10

[Silver]

It's 2 in the morning
As soon as I woke up,
The tears came to my eyes
The words came to my lips
As soon as the thought came to my brain
And the sentiments to my heart.
I could picture an arrow or maybe it
Was a javelin...a spear
Whiffling through space at high speed
With a slight, steady back and forth
Off-centeredness and yet
It was aimed true.
Primitive, yet as accurate as
A heat-seeking missile.
I say your name, I say I love you
I wonder where you are now.
Last night, I was looking at
Images online when I saw one with
Rain-darkened black-top road and
greenery all around and for some reason,
It brought me some serious tears.
I suppose now, it may have symbolized
my own beginnings here on Planet Earth,
In that northeastern part of the United States.
And maybe it suggested your beginnings, even
though on the opposite side of the continent.
Beginnings...beginnings. And then, what?
That javelin seeks you out...is headed your way
Did you visit a Black Hole today? Or maybe yesterday
You had the grand tour? How fabulous it must be!
Everytime I see a picture of high snowy mountains,
I cry because I know you're free to go there
To go wherever you will. I can only say I love you
Like one says bon voyage as one of those who must stay behind
While you board the plane or train or rocket to space
How fabulous that you needed none of these.


silver 11/17/2012

[Tiss]

Silver the poem is very beautiful...but never forget that while he can go here and there he can also be with you, tenderly embracing you.

You cannot see him but he is always with you. Your immense and unconditional love calls him, and he responds.

He can do both things at the same time, that's the miracle. To fly far and to cuddle you.

I know how difficult is...to understand... but follow your heart and not your mind...never lose your faith, and the faith comes from the heart...you don't need to let him go... he is freely with you, as my beloved is with me... never let dogmas scare you... you cannot hurt him with your love...

He gives you strength...he makes you feel compassion...you are now a more spiritual being for good...

He is helping you to accept what everyone of us will eventually go through...

He will be waiting at the end of the road with the wings of his love open for you... when your time arrives.



TISS

[Silver]

Thank you for being there for me, Tiss.

[Tiss]

Always!

TISS

[Silver]

In my room at the hospital

I was brought my son the day

after he was cut from me and I
gingerly pulled one of his little hands
out of his sleeve so I could get a better
look. I looked him over as if in a slow-mo
dream when I realized that a nurse was
standing in the doorway, looking in on us
and watching. She says, "You're a
primigravida...that's how they act with
their first." I gave a puzzled look. She
explained that means that I'm a first-time mom.
I still didn't know what she was getting at and so
she further explained that first-time moms
are very slow and gentle in their first examining
the baby. Moms who've given birth before will be
more businesslike in the way they handle their baby.
I just shrugged and thought...oh.

When I found my son in bed on Valentine's Day of 2010
before I knew he was...gone, I realized ever so slowly
that something wasn't quite right and I gently touched his face
his forehead, his cheeks, his lips, and got a tissue to wipe his lips.
I gently nudged his shoulder and realized he wasn't just asleep.

Silver ~ November 23, 2012

[psychoslice]

Damn that was sad Silvergirl, but It was nice that you shared it, it was beautiful.

[Silver]

Some sounds don’t echo

They reach out to the canyon walls

But the granite is silent

There is no bounce
As there is no analog to the voice

All the love in the world
All the tears of all those who’ve ever lived
Are as to a drop in an empty ocean
The comfort sea

If there ever was a one-sided record
Here it is
No moral to it
No redemption
No silver lining to a mothers grief

This is what can be said by those of us looking in
To say more?
To go beyond sympathy?
Like making a snowball out of the sun

[Silver]

Laughter (as he is known on another forum) wrote the above 'response poem'.

[Silver]

By design or randomly
I live alone
the holidays are upon me
and with no particular structure
to the hours of my days I wander
lonesome through them without my boy
as I lay on my bed just now listening
to my ipod thinking about those who've
flown the coop like my mom my brother
my son and I start to feel a bit dizzy and
picture something moving oddly like
a recently vacated swing the chains
the wooden seat reminds me of parades
honoring those brave people who've passed
with the riderless horse my son deserves a
parade in his honor and I think we all do, really
from all the brave soldiers, doctors and nurses to
the raggediest luckless souls on the streets
panhandling for booze, food...We belong to one another
don't we? I guess I'm a dreamer.

[Silver]

Originally Posted by psychoslice

Damn that was sad Silvergirl, but It was nice that you shared it, it was beautiful.

I'm glad you liked it ~ you're never very far from my thoughts and my heart, Robert.