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Go Back   Spiritual Forums > Spirituality & Beliefs > Love & Relationships -Friends and Family

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  #1  
Old 12-10-2010, 01:35 PM
whispers
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Is it selfish?

I have just deleted my original post as it was waaaay to long after pouring it all out. BUT my goodness, it helped to write it all down!

So the shortened version goes like this..... am I being selfish to end a rocky relationship (of two years) because I want to follow my path alone? He hates me doing anything without him! He has to be the one that makes me happy and can not understand how I could be so selfish?

I have to admit that the reason I posted here is because I do feel guilty/selfish but I am very passionate about finding my inner self, my life purpose. I want to develop my spirituality.

I guess I was wondering if you had gone through anything similar and whether your instincts of ending a relationship proved to be the right thing in the long run????
Does this make sense?

xox
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  #2  
Old 12-10-2010, 01:48 PM
yes
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You're not being selfish. Trust your instincts.
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  #3  
Old 12-10-2010, 01:50 PM
Gerryh
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You have the right to let go of anything or anyone that isn't in alignement with you anymore.Just be sure that this is what you want.If you need the space to do this than just tell him. Is it selfish? No
Best wishes for your future
Gerry
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  #4  
Old 12-10-2010, 02:05 PM
Jules
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Whispers, stop the feeling of guilt right now. You know deep in your gut that you've done the right thing otherwise you wouldn't have done it, nor asked the question. You're looking for confirmation that's all. learn to trust your instincts.
I didnt end my relationship, my ex hubby did (he just beat me too it grrrr lol) .. but I'll thank him till my dying day for doing so. If he hadn't I wouldn't be who I am today, nor would I be where I'm at this minute.
Putting your quest for Spiritual Awareness to one side, look at the relationship as a whole. By your own admission you couldn't do anything without him, which straight away points to him being a control addict. Would you want to spend the rest of your life with someone who took over your entire thoughts, alienated you from everything and everyone around you? By his reckoning he was the one who was to make you happy? How could he? You would become isolated, unhappy and alone... You don't need anyone else to make you happy, that comes from within. So to answer your question, no you've not been selfish in ending your relationship . you've been SELF-LESS. Enjoy your new found freedom and your road to enlightenment. Love light and laughter. Jue xxx
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  #5  
Old 12-10-2010, 03:01 PM
Lostgirl
Posts: n/a
 
I sort of went through something similar with my ex. It was a 3 year relationhship - and a very unhealthy one at that. I turned 18 and suddenly grew up. I was miserable for 6 months as i didnt want to be selfish and end it because i wanted to be me and find myself (that and i wasnt in love with him anymore). However staying in the relationship ruined me. I was miserable, grumpy, lost friends, made awful decisions etc etc.

So the day before i was starting my summer job i split with him, only to meet my soul mate the next day and i have been with him ever since.

My point is that you are unhappy and obviously need time to find who you are. If it is meant to be with this person then your paths will cross once again in the future. Do what you need to to make you happy, relationships will come later. You are no good to this person unhappy in yourself as you will destroy anything you ever had....

I hope that helps. If you need to chat about anything pm me, i know what your going through :)
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  #6  
Old 12-10-2010, 05:19 PM
LightFilledHeart
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Quote:
Originally Posted by whispers
I have just deleted my original post as it was waaaay to long after pouring it all out. BUT my goodness, it helped to write it all down!

So the shortened version goes like this..... am I being selfish to end a rocky relationship (of two years) because I want to follow my path alone? He hates me doing anything without him! He has to be the one that makes me happy and can not understand how I could be so selfish?

I have to admit that the reason I posted here is because I do feel guilty/selfish but I am very passionate about finding my inner self, my life purpose. I want to develop my spirituality.

I guess I was wondering if you had gone through anything similar and whether your instincts of ending a relationship proved to be the right thing in the long run????
Does this make sense?

xox

In my view no one and nothing has the right to stand between you and your highest good, i.e., the advancement of your spirit. To that I would add no one who TRULY loves you would want to...! Love asks the highest and best of the loved-one, not what's "easy" or convenient or makes others "happy"....

Does that help??
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  #7  
Old 12-10-2010, 06:51 PM
lost imp
Posts: n/a
 
Whispers.
Of course your not being selfish by the sounds of it the relationship isn't working anyway.Follow your instinct and gut feelings.
I stayed in a marriage for many years with someone who amongst other things laughed at my beliefs and spirituality.The moment I ended the marriage and took notice of my gut feeling and instinct I knew I had made the right decision and my life improved tenfold.
Put yourself first and develop on your own for a while.
Wishing you all the best in your spiritual adventure .
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