One more Moldavite on the way... and Nuummite

OK, I wonder if what happened last night was the result of the Moldavite, the Nuummite, the emotional impact of things that have been going on in my life, or all three?

I have been under a lot of personal stress recently. Someone I thought was trustworthy has done something hurtful and underhanded, and it's been depressing to have to re-think my attitude toward this person and realize they aren't the person I thought they were. So I've been dealing with those feelings for the past few weeks.

Then the Moldavite and Nuummite arrived yesterday, so I put them both in my pocket all day. (One benefit of being a person who has to ship handicrafts by mail: I have no shortage of bubble wrap in the house, so I was able to protect my stones with bubble wrap and carry them safely in my pocket.)

Fast-forward to last night. Now I do react to an extent to sad things I see and read anyway, but I know what my "normal" level of sad reaction is. Last night, someone posted on Facebook what I can only describe as an incredibly sad animal photo (while trying to publicize that it's important to adopt animals from shelters, lest they lose their lives). Well, I took one look at that photo and absolutely burst out crying. Even for me, the big softy that I am, I was surprised at the level of my reaction.

I have a feeling that some of the tears were for the photo I saw, but the others were connected to the emotions that I've been processing for a few weeks now. But darn. That was a sneak attack from within. I didn't expect to lose it like that. Maybe carrying both stones all day was a bit more potent than I was prepared for.

Didn't stop me from carrying 'em again today, lol. Maybe I NEED to get all that out of my system.

[Lynn]

Hello

At times there are hidden emotions that need out and we are given the 'tool' to do that. It migh not have been anything to do with the picture but more that was the door that opened the release of emotions.

Did things sneek up or did it come to a head is all. We can only carry so much in us before we have to let it out. I would say ye did need to get it all out of the system as we are heading into the Holiday Season and that at times brings in new stresses.

Lynn

Originally Posted by Lynn

Hello

At times there are hidden emotions that need out and we are given the 'tool' to do that. It migh not have been anything to do with the picture but more that was the door that opened the release of emotions.

Did things sneek up or did it come to a head is all. We can only carry so much in us before we have to let it out. I would say ye did need to get it all out of the system as we are heading into the Holiday Season and that at times brings in new stresses.

Lynn

These are definitely emotions that need to be acknowledged, then released. I alluded to them somewhat not long ago, when the topic of clearing and charging stones was raised. I described clearing my quartz sphere pendant with sound, to get some negative vibes off it from an upsetting and depressing set of circumstances that were really troubling me.

Unfortunately, the stress-inducing situation remains unchanged, as the individual who has caused a family rift is not backing down. So if I am going to improve my outlook, it is going to have to be via my own dealing with emotions and moving forward from here. I can't make other people do the right thing, but I have complete control over what *I* do.

So these emotions have to be resolved, and if that means shedding some tears, then so be it. And if carrying Nuummite and Moldavite around for a while will help to facilitate that, then so be it. There is no reason why I should have to go around feeling like the walking wounded, just because of someone else's actions. So dealing with these emotions is the best way to handle the matter. It's not the easy way, but it's the only way toward recovering from this very hurtful set of events.

[Lynn]

Originally Posted by Likes2Read

These are definitely emotions that need to be acknowledged, then released. I alluded to them somewhat not long ago, when the topic of clearing and charging stones was raised. I described clearing my quartz sphere pendant with sound, to get some negative vibes off it from an upsetting and depressing set of circumstances that were really troubling me.

Unfortunately, the stress-inducing situation remains unchanged, as the individual who has caused a family rift is not backing down. So if I am going to improve my outlook, it is going to have to be via my own dealing with emotions and moving forward from here. I can't make other people do the right thing, but I have complete control over what *I* do.

So these emotions have to be resolved, and if that means shedding some tears, then so be it. And if carrying Nuummite and Moldavite around for a while will help to facilitate that, then so be it. There is no reason why I should have to go around feeling like the walking wounded, just because of someone else's actions. So dealing with these emotions is the best way to handle the matter. It's not the easy way, but it's the only way toward recovering from this very hurtful set of events.

Hello

Many times the only way to get to that light at the end of the tunnel is to go through that tunnel. Its a solo journey one takes and tha seems to be the place one is in. Its good too that one 'sees' that we can not change things at times we just have to let events unfold and hope for the possitive outcome. We are like the looking glass we can see the image clearly but still we do not always like what we can see in it.

You are right to shed the feelings of being the wounded its too easy to fall into that poor me place in life and that not only brings ye down more but too other's around ye. Emotions are never an easy thing but they are a necessary thing we have.

Its good to see that things are moving forwards for ye.....tears are only water is one knows why they are being shed.

Lynn

P.S.

Holy Empty Wallets, Batman! I thought I'd do a little search to see if there were any Nuummite focal beads available for sale, so I could make a pendant from one. I found ONE focal bead, a pendulum-cut Nuummite.

For $121. Yeah, how about NO. Not for a 1.38" bead. That's insanity. I got a 5" wand for under $20 -- no way in heck am I paying over six times that for ONE pendant bead.

I still might end up making a piece of jewelry out of Nuummite, or maybe Moldavite someday. But not until/unless I can find materials I can actually AFFORD.

Originally Posted by Lynn

Hello

Many times the only way to get to that light at the end of the tunnel is to go through that tunnel. Its a solo journey one takes and tha seems to be the place one is in. Its good too that one 'sees' that we can not change things at times we just have to let events unfold and hope for the possitive outcome. We are like the looking glass we can see the image clearly but still we do not always like what we can see in it.

You are right to shed the feelings of being the wounded its too easy to fall into that poor me place in life and that not only brings ye down more but too other's around ye. Emotions are never an easy thing but they are a necessary thing we have.

Its good to see that things are moving forwards for ye.....tears are only water is one knows why they are being shed.

Lynn

Good point. And this is definitely the "dark tunnel" phase of what's going on. I'm fortunate that I finally learned (the hard way) that I can't make other people do anything, not even the right thing. And I can't over what other people do. All that does is give me a headache and dent the wall, and meanwhile the other person is still out there doing what they please anyhow. So I'm going to find more constructive ways to spend my time and energy.

Still, I liken the emotions I'm going through to a grieving process. I have to let go of the "honest person I thought they were", since that person obviously doesn't exist in real life. And I have to replace my former opinion of them with the person they have shown themselves to be. Well, there is no other way to describe the feeling except to say it feels just I've been bereaved. This really is just like grieving for someone who has passed on, even though they're still alive.

It's a sad thing, but we all will go through something like this in life (if we haven't dealt with it already). Doesn't make it any easier to experience. But we don't get to choose the cards we're dealt. We only get to choose how we play those cards. Right now, I'm just trying to make constructive choices to work through all these events.

[Belle]

Likes2Read, I'm sorry to hear of your experience not least that I am going / have gone through a similar. Rampant betrayal (or so it seems to me) by what I thought was my BBF, spiritiual co-worker, as well as a family member. I have also watched other family members disappear from the horizon since and whilst I know I'm not perfect, I know I haven't done anything as such to warrant such a shunning. And like you say "bereaved" I agree, I grieve deeply for the end of the relatedness.

Fastforward about 6 months, things feel different and I'm able to regard the situation more clearly. The moldavite came into its force - the day I received my first piece I had the most astonishing revelation about why the friendship was doomed. It wasn't new information, it was a simple putting together of all the pieces of a jigsaw. And like you, the realisation that I was sucked into a friendship that never really was - it's hard.

Please don't over think the person they might be, try to direct your thoughts towards yourself and give yourself space and time to move forwards. There's a chance you won't understand all the nuances that were at stake but you can ask for the learnings to show forth.

Be kind to yourself in this difficult stage as it's really hard.

I'm aiming to come out of this experience both at peace with myself AND without bearing a grudge. I know I didn't do anything to trigger this episode -- it's coming from the other person and it blindsided the rest of the family, too, not just me.

And I am not going to end up harboring hate as a result of this. I reject that response. Hurt feelings, yes. Those are natural. Anger, yes. That's one of the stages of grieving. But eventually, I am going to get completely through the first four stages of grieving. I've already had my Denial and Bargaining (the first two stages). Next are Anger and Depression, and yes, that's pretty much what I'm processing at the moment. The fifth and final stage is Acceptance. Let's just say I'm on my way there, but haven't arrived.

Processing emotions and events does take conscious effort. I know I can't expect Nuummite, Moldavite, or any other -ite to do all the work for me. But like a hammer makes it easier to drive a nail, compared to working with just our bare hands, I'm going to make the most of ALL the resources at my disposal: prayers, crystals, and WORKING through my emotions. Even the best hammer ever made can't drive the nail all by itself -- we have to make efforts to get the job done. But God knows I've got plenty of hammers at my disposal, both internal and external. So I'm going to make the best of them.

We have every right, though, to acknowledge our hurt when someone has betrayed our trust. It doesn't mean we have to walk around in misery for life. But we have the right to acknowledge, "Yes, when that happened, I felt pain because of it." That's a step that so many of us have issues with. We're often so ready to hide our hurt, not only from the rest of the world, but from ourselves, saying "Everything's fine. Really. I'm all right." when we're absolutely NOT fine. I think this is WHY crystals have the strong effect that they do on so many of us: we have tried to bury our hurts so deeply, that it displaces a lot of material when the crystals finally bring those issues back to the surface to be dealt with.

Well, I'm not going to bury THIS. I'm dealing with it. I have learned the hard way that burying pain doesn't work, not in the long run and not even in the short run. Hello, Nuummite and Moldavite. Have a seat in my pocket. ;) I have some processing to do, and I need you to keep this situation in place at the surface, so I can work on it.

Originally Posted by Belle

Likes2Read, I'm sorry to hear of your experience not least that I am going / have gone through a similar. Rampant betrayal (or so it seems to me) by what I thought was my BBF, spiritiual co-worker, as well as a family member. I have also watched other family members disappear from the horizon since and whilst I know I'm not perfect, I know I haven't done anything as such to warrant such a shunning. And like you say "bereaved" I agree, I grieve deeply for the end of the relatedness.

Fastforward about 6 months, things feel different and I'm able to regard the situation more clearly. The moldavite came into its force - the day I received my first piece I had the most astonishing revelation about why the friendship was doomed. It wasn't new information, it was a simple putting together of all the pieces of a jigsaw. And like you, the realisation that I was sucked into a friendship that never really was - it's hard.

Please don't over think the person they might be, try to direct your thoughts towards yourself and give yourself space and time to move forwards. There's a chance you won't understand all the nuances that were at stake but you can ask for the learnings to show forth.

Be kind to yourself in this difficult stage as it's really hard.

Thanks. I'm sorry you had to go through a thing like that. No betrayal is good, but it really hits us that much harder when it comes from someone who is close to us, whom we've let into our heart. We can overcome even THAT level of pain, but boy does it take work.

One thing we have to do is not immediately blame ourselves at the times when the other person turned on us. Looking at our own behavior and reviewing it, to see if there is anything we can do better next time, is healthy. But if we realize that we have been honest and fair with them throughout, and they have lied to us or cheated us anyway, then the responsibility for the rupture lies with the other person.

That's pretty much the issue here. We have one family member who suddenly grew fangs and claws, and the rest of us are in a "Um, what just happened here?" mode. I hold out hope that the one individual will come to their senses and put the fangs and claws away. I'm determined not to respond with fangs and claws of my own, because I don't want to throw gasoline on the fire. I will stand my ground and not allow myself to be walked on, but that's not the same thing as going on the offensive. Still... it really does stink that this even happened at all. It's bad enough that the "outside world" has fangs and claws and takes swipes at us. We're not supposed to have to deal with things like this from our loved ones -- they're supposed to be the ones who stick by us when the rest of the world is hostile. Oh, well -- I guess not everyone got the memo that this isn't how you treat loved ones. It's sad.

[Belle]

Likes2Read - I'm pleased that you are looking to come out of this with peace at yourself and without bearing a grudge. Indeed there is a process and I pray that you will speed through the process sooner rather than later as it is not an easy time.

And whilst the situation is at the surface, if you can, look to the self to seek higher learnings to ensure the same thing doesn't happen again. Or, ask that you are shown them at the right time.

Sorry if I'm speaking out of turn, take it or leave it as you wish.