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06-10-2014, 12:19 AM
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Guide
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 514
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Let's build social confidence
I'd like for those of us wanting to improve our social confidence to work on our affirmations and manifestations together. If you'd like to join in, please do, and we can share our progress.
I have another topic in which I gave my thoughts regarding manifestations. I feel that it's important to build up in steps and make sure we word things in the right way. An example I gave, which I'll repeat again, was about anxiety. Trying to deny my anxiety and claim I didn't have it didn't help me, but making the claim that I am capable of handling my anxiety did help me.
So, a lack of social confidence can be an annoyance or even a nightmare. Rather than make the affirmation that we're 'bursting with confidence', let's take a step-by-step approach. Belief is a crucial factor, after all.
We want to improve our social confidence. Chances are, we'd like to be able to relax and be ourselves more in the company of others. That would suggest that we'd like also to be able to speak our minds more than perhaps we do - because we like to speak our minds.
For the next week, we're going to remind ourselves that we like to speak our minds.
When we get up in the morning.
'I like to speak my mind.'
When we're in the company of others.
'I like to speak my mind.'
When we're engaging in conversation.
'I like to speak my mind.'
Mix it up if you like. I enjoy speaking my mind. I like to speak my mind. I feel good speaking my mind.
Being super confident doesn't matter at this point, as long as we remind ourselves that in truth, we do like to speak our minds.
Later in the week, we'll add additional truths. I take pride in speaking my mind. I enjoy interesting conversations. I like to make conversations interesting. I like the eye contact in an engaging conversation. I know how to express myself well. I know how to speak with clarity. Etc.
I feel that verbal communication is one of the main reasons why most of us will lack social confidence. Once we can warm up a bit and realise that we're actually interesting people, it'll help moving on to bigger affirmations. We're reminding ourselves at this point that it's good to speak our minds, be ourselves, and that we do actually like it.
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06-10-2014, 12:38 AM
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Thank you...I have dealt with this my entire life and even now...I will be doing these affirmations and let you know how it goes..
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06-10-2014, 01:22 AM
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Guide
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 514
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TesseLated
Thank you...I have dealt with this my entire life and even now...I will be doing these affirmations and let you know how it goes..
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Yes, me too, but it's time to move forward. I'll be doing these affirmations too, so we can reflect on how we get on.
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09-10-2014, 03:04 PM
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Guide
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 514
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How are you getting on, TesseLated?
I've been forgetting a lot to make the affirmation (I like to speak my mind), but I have done it, and I did have a couple of occasions where I quite spontaneously blurted out my thoughts.
If you're willing to try it, I want to see if stepping it up makes more of an impact.
'I speak my mind and speak with clarity.'
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09-10-2014, 03:13 PM
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Deactivated Account
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,748
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This is really cool. I don't really do positive affirmations but I think this could help me some. Might try this!
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10-10-2014, 02:14 PM
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Guide
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 514
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Let us know how you get on, Scarlett!
I can happily say that I've continued to blurt out thoughts here and there, although some of them have surprised me in their nature. While I was resting this morning, I could hear a member of my family speaking loudly on the phone, call after call. I don't think they heard me, but I very spontaneously blurted something like 'will you just shut up'! Alright, it's not the nicest thing, admitted, and it surprised me because it came out as I thought it (rather than being a thought first and then me saying or not saying it), but I do take it as a sign of progress. I didn't even give myself a chance to consider it as if thinking with my mouth.
'I speak my mind' is going to work.
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10-10-2014, 02:57 PM
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Deactivated Account
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,748
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sunset Dragon
Let us know how you get on, Scarlett!
I can happily say that I've continued to blurt out thoughts here and there, although some of them have surprised me in their nature. While I was resting this morning, I could hear a member of my family speaking loudly on the phone, call after call. I don't think they heard me, but I very spontaneously blurted something like 'will you just shut up'! Alright, it's not the nicest thing, admitted, and it surprised me because it came out as I thought it (rather than being a thought first and then me saying or not saying it), but I do take it as a sign of progress. I didn't even give myself a chance to consider it as if thinking with my mouth.
'I speak my mind' is going to work.
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Hahaha, actually learning to speak my mind is something I've been working on these past three months or so and at first for me when I first started it really came out impulsive and angry, kinda like the way you told your family member to shut up.
I think it's because we've kept what we really feel trapped inside for so long.. it's sort of all wound up and thinks it won't be accepted. So in order to compensate it goes a bit over the top. But the one thing I've learned is that speaking our mind isn't about getting people to listen to us, it's about just putting your truth out there and leaving it there to work its own magic in its own time.
Now I've been getting a lot better at this. I can talk to my mother casually about my spiritual activities despite the fact she's unsure whether some of it is demonic (due to her Christian beliefs) and when I visited my dad I also told him what I thought about some of his parenting methods. Because he wasn't really empathetic and I could tell he was really hurting my sister. So I said something. Now I really do like speaking my truth! It's a very freeing feeling when you get the hang of it. I can't say I'm completely there yet.. it's a process and I'm taking baby steps. But I think these affirmations are great because it'll reinforce where we all want to be :)
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10-10-2014, 03:46 PM
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SPEAKING ONES MIND IS SUCH A WONDERFUL THING. AS OUR MIND IS TRUELY UNIQUE FROM ALL OTHERS IT IS THROUGH SPEAKING FROM ONES MIND THAT TRUE UNIQUENESS OCCURS.
I HAVE LEARNED THROUGHOUT MY WALKS THAT INSECURITIES AND LACK OF CONFIDENCE COMES FROM A DESIRE FOR ACCEPTANCE. A DESIRE TO FIT INTO SOMETHING.
WHEN WE USE THESE POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS WE ARE REMINDING OURSELVES SUBCONSCIOUSLY THAT IT IS OKAY TO BE DIFFERENT. THIS IS A BEAUTIFUL FIRST STEP TOWARDS ACCEPTANCE AND CONFIDENCE.
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10-10-2014, 10:03 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sunset Dragon
Yes, me too, but it's time to move forward. I'll be doing these affirmations too, so we can reflect on how we get on.
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It's kind of strange...I do not have a problem in the world speaking my mind when I'm teaching (reading teacher)...I can talk all day about stories, their meaning, etc...
It's when I get in certain social situations...where I don't know people well...and even sometimes when I do, that I shutdown. Idk what happens...extreme discomfort comes...I want to get away. It's almost like they take my energy. Idk how to explain it. So I avoid those situations..
I'll let you know when I encounter one...I feel pretty good with everyone I work with...very positive environment...good energy..etc. I tend to isolate myself aside from that....just not worth the effort, as I've had huge disappointments in people that I've known.
Maybe one day I'll try again.
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11-10-2014, 06:44 PM
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Guide
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 514
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@ScarlettHayden
It sounds like you are doing well. I think it's so important for us to be able to speak our minds. A term I like is 'Walk your Talk'. The reality is that we're not all compatible people, but over the years I had a habit of bringing and keeping the wrong people in my life because I wouldn't speak my truths. Then, when I did show signs of my true self, people would react with confusion. The saddest part is that I buried my truths so much so that I lost sight of myself. I couldn't determine when I was hiding the truth or genuinely being myself. I felt like I needed a reset button just to make sense of things. Is this me or is this a lie? How I figure that part out, I'm not entirely sure. I guess it will take some time. I need to 'feel' the moments.
@DaSKREETz2REALz
True words. I have fallen into the desires for acceptance, and lost myself along the way, so I can relate to that. I like what you said about reminding ourselves that it's ok to be different.
@TesseLated
I think I can understand. I've been getting to know some people since the beginning of this year, and gradually I'm building more confidence around them. I'm not perfect, but the improvements are noticeable. Of course, it's about comfort. But when a new person suddenly joins that group, it's difficult again. They're the unknown. I don't know how they're going to perceive me or even judge me. I guess that in itself is like a reset button. I really admire confident speakers, such as people who can get on stage and speak to an entire audience without breaking a sweat (or they just hide it incredibly well). This is partly why I added 'clarity' into the mix, to remind myself (and hopefully for others to also remind themselves) that we can speak clearly and intelligently. Amongst a group of strangers, I feel like I may lose myself in them, but what does it matter really? Whether it's one person or a hundred people, my words needn't be any different. We must talk to the hundreds as if talking to one. See them as being collective. It's about ourselves.
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