I feel lost =\

[Enchanted_DreamFaerie]

I'm not sure what to believe in anymore, I thought I knew what to follow but now I don't follow any religion; I just follow what inside my heart and what I feel is right. Am I a bad person. There's some things that happened to me when I was younger and it traumatized me, ever since than I've always felt like a lost soul and not sure what to follow or what to believe in. I love crystals and I mediate whenever I feel stressed out but when it comes to religion I don't follow anything. There's times where I feel lost and other times I tell myself that there's nothing wrong with what I'm doing and why do I always need someone to tell me that I'm not a bad person but deep down I feel like I'm a bad person. I suffer from low self esteem and depression and that's what turned me into spirituality, but my step father tells me I'm worshiping the devil every time he see's me playing with my Tarot & Oracle Cards.... and again I feel like I'm such a bad person. Why am I constantly feeling like a horrible person. Will I forever be doomed and lost forever?

[Xiomara]

Faerie,
you don't need anyone to tell you what you are,that is the first thing you need to realize,i know that you know that too,yet to realize it is another matter.
You are not a bad person,you say you follow what is inside your heart and this is the only right path,because it's yours.
Sometimes,seeing the world is not what its meant to be,we feel depressed,sad and lost,and there is nothing wrong about it,except we must realize that its not us who are lost.What we feel is just a reflection of the insanity and pain our world and society suffer from.And some of us,being more sensitive,feel a fraction of that immense pain.And still,its not a bad thing,it means that we are NOT lost,as there are many people who are able to hurt someone without any regret,its them who are really lost.
The thing is that we must not allow the sorrow to rule our lives,and i believe that everyone has enough fortitude for that,we just have to remember how its done.And everyone has its own way.
You say you don't follow any religion,yes,you're right,the only thing you have to follow is the voice of your heart,it always speaks wisely,knows the light and the truth you need.So,just listen to it.
I'm not saying that it will erase your pain immediately,but once you realize that you are not alone,that you are a luminous being,little by little this feeling of being lost will evaporate.
There is wisdom inside of us,we just need the courage and put our faith in ourselves.

Much Love and Light

[GypsyButterfly]

Hugs, Enchanted. I'm actually glad you posted this. I've always been a spiritual person. I was raised in a particular religion & I still believe parts of it. Much I didn't. Which is why I left it when I was 27 (I'm 45 now). Though, I had been gravitating away from it for a few years before that.

A year later, I met my husband & he opened me up to a different faith. Which, I somewhat studied, but, didn't start to embrace until eight years ago. Even so, I'm open to many things. Buddhism, Native American, Wicca, the paranormal, cryptozoology, etc.

He & I are best friends & have much in common (interests, views, beliefs). We've opened each other up to new things & even what we disagree upon, it's ok. I don't feel I can tell him I'm not 100% with his religion. It does resonate with me. It's just not the only path for me.

On here, there are many options. I haven't been here much, because, I've been concerned I'd have to choose something. I don't want to, though. Nor do I feel it's necessary. I just keep my mind & heart open & treat other's with kindness & respect. I'm naturally inquisitive. It's perfectly fine to wonder & to question.

You don't have to be religious to be a good person or have any spirituality or faith. I haven't been religious in almost 8-9 years and even though I debate on joining a religion from time to time, I just cannot see myself entering into one. My focus just isn't there and I always feel this tugging within my spirit that I should just keep onward and I'll figure out where I need to be.

I am very sorry to hear that's your family environment. :( I was very lucky to grow up with my grandparents that didn't really force me into anything religiously, so I found my way faster without so much interference. Actually, I was encouraged to work on my psychic abilities. I wish everyone could have the same experience I've had. *hugs*

[12meadows]

Enchanted, pay no mind to the negativity of others. they only have as much power as you give them. remember...you are powerful. you are also a good person- bad people do not wonder whether they are bad people or not! :)

this is from the book "Heal Your Body" by Louise L. Hay:
symptom: Depression
probable cause: anger you feel you do not have a right to have. hopelessness
new thought pattern: I now go beyond other people's fears and limitations. I create my life.

you have a right to absolutely any feeling that you have. try to recognize what those feelings are, so that you may release them. feeling down is your body calling for attention. you have everything you need- you only have to look.

you said that you were into crystals. I would try putting moss agate on your night stand and citrine with you in the daytime. every time you look at them or touch them, let them be reminders that you can heal and you can block out the negativity that is keeping you from your growth.

religion is for people who need or want a guided path (there's nothing wrong with that), but some of us need or want our own path. do not be ashamed to walk your own path. there are more of us walking next to you than you think. I am sending well wishes :)

[wanchain]

One of my beliefs is that every experience is meant to serve me. I am not suggesting that you think the same, but I find this helps me to grow. It will manifest as such, hence transmuting all negativities. ^_^

Avoiding any experience, especially negative ones, is hindering our growth. They come into our lives, to highlight certain aspects of ourselves that need our attention.

Low self-esteem may be one of the themes you have to explore in this lifetime, or it may not be. I was battling with it, but I have uprooted it now. For me, it is not a theme, but something I inherited from my parents.

Everything can be both positive and negative, depending on how you choose to experience it. I consider low self-esteem to be a beautiful thing, as it shows me a completely different perspective on life. :)

I also believe that the environment you choose to live in, is also meant to help you grow.

Enchanted: There may be something in your psyche that is attracting the "I am a bad person" feeling. You need to find the root cause, and get rid of it. Otherwise, as long as you still hold on to it, you will continue to attract that feeling.

I have felt the same way lately

[12meadows]

wanchain, I think that was perfectly stated :)

[Nature Grows]

You don't have to follow religion if you don't want to so try forget that way of thinking if it's making you upset, you don't have to listen to anyone but yourself as long as your being kind and trying your best know that your doing good. It's ok

[Morpheus]

"Religion" is something which is very subjectively interpreted in meaning, usually.

You wil find Buddhists stating that it isn't a Religion, as well as Christians also. Who state that it is a relationship, not a Religion.
So, learn about God's Love and Salvation, and His Grace.

So, open up the Gospels, and read.