I’m married and I just found my twin flame.

[Neptunian]

I had to make an anonymous account on this Internet forum to talk about this because it’s just too much.

I’ve been married a little over a year to a guy who I’ve known most of my life. I thought because my parents liked him that he was the right one. He’s a good enough guy and we get along like friends - but that’s it. He’s done some awful things to hurt me and has lied to me several times. There’s no sex. Over the past month or so I’ve been increasingly unhappy and feeling trapped. I see now that I got married in haste because I thought this was all I wanted, and although I respect the institution of marriage, I feel I’ve made a mistake. I’m 32 and everyone is asking when we’re going to have children and it makes me want to bolt.

I have been turning towards my faith more and asked for guidance and direction, as I struggle with always needing to control everything.

A few weeks ago, I went to buy a new car and I met my twin flame. This sounds crazy. It was an instant attraction - he was hilarious, our rapport was like we knew each other forever. My husband was with me and was in and out the whole time with work calls. I tried not to think much of it at first, just that he must be a very good salesman, but added him on Facebook because we spent 4 hours at the dealership non stop talking and he was definitely friendly. He added me back instantly and we began chatting on there for days.

Apparently our energy was so much when we first met, his boss pulled him aside after and razzed him saying we were “all over each other”.

I am not a flirty person and definitely wasn’t consciously putting out these vibes.

Our chats were friendly at first but deep - immediately delving into topics of spirituality, faith, love, death — the more we were finishing each other’s sentences and saying “no way, me too”, it soon turned romantic.

We’ve seen each other a few times but know we can’t be together right now.

He showed me his paintings and one was just like a poster I have on my office wall that I bought because it reminded me so much of a dream.

We fit together. I don’t know how to describe. It’s like I’ve known this person my whole life and he agrees. There’s this sense that things will work out as they are intended so neither of us are freaking out or feeling rushed. It’s just so incredible. I think I’ve found him.

[ByChance]

It can be a Soul Mate, too. Or a simple attraction that will pass.
And his eyes?
Protect yourself from having children at this moment.
Probably others members could give you better guidance.

Much love to you.

[Seenthelight]

Twin flame/ soul mate/ whatever, it is clear you have married the man you have because that just felt like something you were meant to do, given how long you have known him. REading your description of your marriage I felt sad, flat. You deserve so much more. This other man has shown you how to feel alive... But I would still exercise a little caution unless if totally FEELS right, right within you... You don't really know him but he could be everything to you.

I met my husband almost 20 years ago when I was still with my ex in a ****ty marriage (we had two children too - you don't have those ties). I knew without a doubt this new man was going to rock my world. And he did, and he remains that to this day (despite my 'twin flame' potentially being someone else...).

So - depends on whether you are ready to just take the plunge...? Will you get a year, 2 years, 5 years down the line regretting either decision?

[Akira]

My advice would be wait it out. A tf relationship will blow the foundations of your world apart. Not something we look for, more something we contract.

My question to you would be, why are you seeing him? The truth is that when we make contracts that we are uncomfortable with we need to honor them. Sneaking around with someone else is not high vibrationally, which makes me think that this is another type of connection. Tf's won't bring that type of drama to others or themselves, really.

When it comes to tf's there is no desire to hurt the others involved and there is a possibility that this could go down that road. That would indicate high level soul contracts and karmic obligations based on past life experiences.

of course I can not be sure that this is not your tf, however if it is you would need to step back because otherwise it will create drama that the tf relationship oftentimes does not experience. Don't get me wrong there will be internal drama based on the couple, however triangles and quadrangles etc are not the norm in tf relationships.

Of course there may be animosity etc, however usually the being with the person before raises the persons vibration to connect to the whole tf experience. In turn the Universe rewards them with a relationship so that they do not hang about waiting or creating distress to the couple that is now working at re-connection.

There are times where a mess may be contracted in as a learning tool for the parties involved. However, this is quite a rare scenario. As is meeting and re-uniting with a tf...

As you are having trouble in your marriage, maybe think about this and what you want to do. There is no rule that says you have to stay in a space in which you are unhappy. However, be careful not to leave based on this new relationship as that too could end. Think on what you want and what you need and make this the reality that you create for yourself.

Originally Posted by Seenthelight

Twin flame/ soul mate/ whatever, it is clear you have married the man you have because that just felt like something you were meant to do, given how long you have known him.

I fear this often happens. Can't speak for other than the UK but there is this concern of some females about being left on the shelf. Getting married is almost a rite of passage especially if one's friends are. It's something I've avoided altogether probably because such friends as I have didn't fall into that trap.

And then, having tied the knot, the good-behaviour veneer starts to wear. A year down the line, reality hits and the grass always seems greener elsewhere.

REading your description of your marriage I felt sad, flat. You deserve so much more.

Thankfully, these things aren't difficult to get out of these days unless children are involved.

This other man has shown you how to feel alive... But I would still exercise a little caution unless if totally FEELS right, right within you... You don't really know him but he could be everything to you.

Agreed. He is a car salesman after all, who knows if he kissed the Blarney Stone? (I've encountered this breed but he came across a bit smarmy for me!) It's all very wonderful in the first few encounters but can the interplay and interest be sustained...or might it just go the same way? My caution follows Akira's. "Wait it out." If there really is something there it's going to happen anyway.

So - depends on whether you are ready to just take the plunge...? Will you get a year, 2 years, 5 years down the line regretting either decision?

As Akira said, if there is some metaphysical force above and beyond the ordinary, it'll happen. Just chucking one man for another may refresh the spirit - and there's nothing like new romance to lift one's spirits! It may last, it may not. At the front end one always hopes it will but like Neptunian's marriage it may come with a sell-by date. Even so, with good will and intent the marriage may work out. Sex has to be subservient to companionship and collaboration to me as sexual exploration can reach a limit. Gorgeous if it lasts but.... There seems to be a view that if you can get through three years of marriage it does have a good chance of survival.

All good wishes, anyway.
Time I bought a new car?

[ByChance]

You had the courage to acknowledge to yourself that you made a mistake and I understand you deeply. Forgive yourself for it. We all makes mistakes. You are very young. You probably think that you are not, but, believe, you are. You have all the time to fulfill your dreams. You are not obliged to have children because society tells you to do so in order for you to be a woman. You can live a life without children, too, and be happy. You can live a life without a partner, alone or what ever you want. You are a woman already, with a heart full of dreams and desires. You can travel the world, know other cultures, have fun and choose, if you want, to have a partner.
Being trapped is an illusion of the ego that I know, believe me, it is very hard to brake. It takes time to have the courage to go and have the experiences that our soul yearns to have. It takes time to live the life we imagine, beyond the desires of our parents and family. We can brake the image they want to impose on ourselves. It can take you, one month, one year, ten years or the rest of your life to have the courage to step into your feet, open like a flower and be who you truly are.
You already know everything.
Love and light.

^^^ Beautiful. Spoken like a true Leo. Let light into your life, walk barefoot on sun-flakes.

[Inika]

I didn't read it all. Sorry. I got to this

There’s no sex

And thought - DIVORCE.

[ByChance]

What if I tell you that this is the man of your life and you are free. I mean, he is a Sales Man. Are you ready to take his hand and tell your family that he is the man you love? That you want to make love to him every morning and lie outside to see together the stars, while you talk until the Sunrise? Are you ready to love him even if you have a master degree and he has only has high school? Will you dare? Or will you only think in the happiness of your parents and family while you sit there watching life passing while everybody else is happy and waiting for you to have children? Is this love? Are you loving yourself? Are they loving you?
Remeber, love takes courage.
Much love to you.

[ByChance]

Originally Posted by Lorelyen

^^^ Beautiful. Spoken like a true Leo. Let light into your life, walk barefoot on sun-flakes.

Thank you Lorelyen, I needed some words of courage from you. What a coincidence. You are very wise.
I will dance naked outside and let the rain run on my skin. And lying on a rock, will be my TF, very tired because we have just made love for the third time in the night.