Begging for Help

To choose to do the best you can in each moment....

That is the best choice one can make!

Trust in the INFINITE Source and IT will begin to fill the void you currently feel.

I was in the same spot not to long ago......just a moment ago.

This is the means I used to deal with what needed to be dealt with:

1) I forgave the individual
2) That was not enough, I was called on to send him a letter. It was something I did not want to do. In meditation I asked "why!!??" and a reply came within: Because you are the only one who can write it. You are the only one who can get through.
3) I sent the letter knowing I would see him no more unless he changes his ways. I have known him since 6th grade and saved him from drowning once. This time I could not save him but I could shine a light on why he was drowning and offer him a way out.
4) I let go! I left it all in the Divine hands and just moved on.
5) I do not know anything more.......
6) I returned to a center of Peace

Each situation we get ourselves into requires a unique set of our own inner actions and choices. No two paths are identical, no one answer fits all situations even if they appear to be the same. Sometimes we need do "No-Thing: at all and sometimes if we fail to act we are harming another and/or self through non-action! This is always say: Reflect on this deeply.
For out of self-reflection will come the answer if one looks at it long enough and deep enough and truly wants to do what is right.

I think you would most enjoy a book called "The Shadow Effect" .......hmmmm, I do believe I just repeated myself, silly me.

By the way, I forgave the person that betrayed me...after I made sure he was too useless to do it again to someone else.

To this day we still run into one another and he sneers at me and throws some passive-aggressive threats around.

But we both know he's just putting on a brave face (and so am I!)

I let him see that I'm not afraid of him and that he cannot control me, and even though that makes him frustrated and even more unpredictable, he is essentially at a loss for what to inflict on me because he believes I am not vulnerable.

I can't imagine what he would do if he knew how much he had "triumphed" over me. I don't think I ever want to know.

Originally Posted by Sangress

*Sigh* I’m stubborn when it comes to these things, but I am going to have to cast away my pride and mistrust and ask a favor of any of you who would be willing to help me even though I actually think I do not deserve help at all after the way I have behaved. (THIS IS ONLY MY OPINION OF WHAT I READ I HAVENT VENTURED PAST WHAT I DONT NEED TO ON MY SPIRITUAL PATH, I JUST PUT MY FAITH AND TRUST IN SPIRIT AND WORK TO HOW I WAS CHOSEN TO WORK AND CHOSE, AND I HAVENT HAD THE NEED TO GO BEYOND THAT OF WHICH IS OF REALITY.)

I’ll explain what has happened first and events leading up to it, then at the end I will ask properly…

I’ve recently had a very intense experience while Astral Projecting. It involved an attack on myself, which I provoked entirely.

For the first time in a long time I’ve been unable to just shrug off non-physical damage and think that it will heal with time, that I always make it through and that it was well within my power to heal. (WE NEED TO RESPECT UNIVERSAL AND SPIRITUAL LAW BEFORE WE GO DELVING INTO WHAT IS TAKING US AWAY FROM OUR TRUE SPRIITUAL PATH.) (AND OF OURSELVES.)

This time is different, and the worst part is that I know I could have changed this outcome had I not been so neglectful of myself and arrogant. (THEN LEARN FROM THE EXPERIENCE AND GET BACK ON TRACK PROGRESSING WITH SPIRIT ALLOWING THEM TO BE YOUR GUIDE AND NOT GO BEYOND THAT IF YOU DONT KNOW WHAT YOUR MESSING WITH DONT GO THERE) AGAIN ONLY AN OPINION .

The reason I am unable to heal now is because not too long ago I had someone manipulate my energy system/spiritual self so that he effectively drained/took my energy constantly and left me with less than 2% of whatever I myself drained at all times. (That is not an exaggeration.) (I HAVE NEVER HEARD OF ANYONE BEING ABLE TO MANIPULATE YOUR ENERGY SYSTEM / AND SPIRITUAL SELF AND DRAIN YOU OF ENERGY CONSTANTLY IT DOESNT MAKE SENSE.) WE CAN ALLOW OTHERS TO DRAIN US EMOTIONALLY, MENTALLY, AND PHYSICALLY IF WE ALLOW OURSELVES TO GIVE AWAY OUR POWER TO ANOTHER BY LETTING THEM CONTROL US IN THAT WAY WHERE THEY ARE BEING DOMINEERING OVER US BUT NO HUMAN BEING HAS THE POWER TO DO WHAT YOU ARE STATING IN ALOT OF WHAT YOU SAY ITS LIKE READING A FICTIONAL BOOK WITH PEOPLE MAKING OUT THEY ARE BEYOND WHAT IS HUMAN ON THIS EARTH PLANE.(AGAIN ONLY MY OPINION)

I WOULD SAY ALOT OF REALITY AND GROUNDING IS NEEDED HERE TO BRING YOU BACK TO THE EARTH PLANE AND JUST BE YOURSELF AND NOT SOMETHING THAT IS BEYOND REALITY.



(Some background information I would usually withhold, but I have to be honest because I am asking for help. To be blunt, very early on in my development I formed a natural spiritual/non-physical adaptation that causes me to drain energy from other people, the elements, animals, spirits and the air itself, rather than creating energy of my own to function and survive. To a lot of people it would be known as Energetic/Psychic Vampirism, not that I consider myself to be a “vampire“ of any kind and dislike the terminology…etc) (I HAVE NEVER HEARD OF ANYONE BEING ABLE TO DO THAT, WE COME HERE FUNCTIONING WITH WHAT WE ARE GIVEN TO FUNCTION WITH AND TO SURVIVE WITH WE BREATH THE AIR, THAT GIVES US LIFE, WE HAVE OUR OWN ENERGY TO USE IN THE WAY WE CHOOSE TO USE IT, OUR BODIES WORK AND FUNCTION ACCORDING TO HOW THEY ARE MEANT TO BE AND FUNCTION FOR US.

THIS IS AGAIN ONLY MY OPINION BUT I KNOW I PROBABLY WOULD BE PUT AWAY IF I SAID I AM GOING OUT TO DRAIN THE ENERGY OF THE ELEMENTS, PEOPLE, ANIMALS, SPIRITS (THATS A GOOD ONE) AND THE AIR RATHER THAN RELY ON MY EARTHLY FUNCTIONS .

Well, having finally realized such manipulations were upon me I, being my arrogant and neglectful self, went in and basically butchered my own energy system to remove what this horrible person had placed inside me to drain my energy. (MY OPINION AGAIN NO PERSON HAS THE POWER TO DO THAT TO THAT EXTENT WE ALLOW FEAR TO OVERTAKE US AND CREATE WHAT WE BELIEVE ANOTHER HAS DONE TO US, GIVING THEM MORE POWER BUT ITS LESSONS THAT HAVE TO BE LEARNED FROM THE EXPERIENCES WE HAVE.)


THERE IS ALWAYS HELP FOR US I ASK MY GUIDES AND SPIRITUAL TEACHERS, HEALERS AND GODS HELP WHEN I AM IN A CRISIS THAT NEEDS HEALING.



I had the chance to remove it all safely and delicately (like key-hole surgery,) but I chose to do it in the quickest and most painful way because I believed it would not effect me, that I was too strong for consequences.

*shakes head* Well, I was very blind in that respect, it has effected me. I regret now that I was so careless and now I have to bother you all and beg for help, which I have only ever done twice in my entire existence…not just counting just this life, or skin, or even this state of existence . . .I mean within my entire existence, I have only ever sought help twice, this being the second time.

(MY OPINION AGAIN BUT HOW WOULD YOU REMEMBER PAST LIVES AND IF THIS WAS ONLY THE SECOND TIME YOU HAVE ASKED FOR HELP IN YOUR WHOLE EXISTANCE, YOU WILL FIND DURING YOUR LIFE TIME YOU WILL BE ASKING FOR MORE HELP IT IS A NATURAL THING TO DO AND A WAY OF LEARNING AND BEING HELPED)

So, after butchering myself and leaving it to heal naturally I unwillingly noticed (and denied) that I could no longer “feed” (drain energy) properly, and soon after that a lot of my non-physical senses dulled, (which I also denied) leaving me partially numb to things I need to know in order to feed. (SORRY AGAIN MY OPINION ONLY FEED? ON WHAT? DRAIN ENERGY ? NON OF THIS IS OF REALITY TO ME AND I HAVE HAD MY TWO FEET FIRMLY PLANTED ON THE EARTH PLANE FOR MANY YEARS I HAVE ONLY READ ABOUT THIS STUFF AND SEEN IT IN MOVIES AND SEE PEOPLE WEARING FALSE FANGS TRYING TO BE VAMPIRES. BUT IN REALITY THEY ARE JUST THEMSELVES WEARING A PAIR OF FANGS MAKING IDIOTS OF THEMSELVES TRYING TO GET US TO BELIEVE THEY TURN INTO BATS, FLY, LIVE ON BLOOD AND LIVE FOREVER. BUT WEIRDER THINGS HAPPEN.



Now, the first time I stepped out of my body (Astral Projection) after the “incident,” I expected to be able to hunt and drain spirits as I have always naturally done. But I found that the moment I was outside of my body, I become too weak to hold my non-physical form and was snapped back into my physical body.( MY OPINION ONLY BUT I WOULD LOVE TO SEE ANYONE HUNT DOWN A SPIRIT AND DRAIN THAT SPIRIT OF ITS ENERGY WHILE IN ASTRAL PROJECTION.)

Still being arrogant and stubborn and careless, I dragged myself out many more times during the past month. I gained energy a couple times, but being so weak I was even unable to take what I needed when it was within my grasp. I was beaten by my own prey. It was, and still is, torture. ( MY OPINION ONLY COME BACK TO EARTH WHERE WE LIVE UNTIL WE LEAVE IT TO GO INTO THE SPIRIT WORLD, GET HELP FOR YOUR CONDITION, KEEP YOURSELF GROUNDED, FOR GET ALL ABOUT THE HUNTING, DRAINING OF EVERYTHING BE YOURSELF AS YOU WERE MEANT TO BE LEARN FROM ALL THIS AND JUST ENJOY A HAPPY, EXCITING TIME HERE IN REALITY OF ALL OTHER THINGS THAT YOUR LIFE AND THE FUTURE HAS TO OFFER WHERE IT IS NOT SO DRAMATIC OR STRESSFULL FOR YOU.

But that is not the worst. I got into a territorial dispute with another being. This one would have been far below my strength had I been healthy, and I was still thinking the way I would have had I been healthy. So I confronted this being and we fought and, of course, I came out of the dispute with far less in me than I ever remember possessing. I had “lost” to that being in every way possible. (OH DEAR)

So, here I am. I have come to the realization that my soul, my form, my very being is extremely weak and ill. My non-physical form bleeds out around me, everything unravels, even my non-physical wings, claws…etc are only wispy shadows of what they once were. (OMG )

I am now unable to step out of my body and my non-physical senses are numb at best. I am unable to sense anything in any kind of detail without being in a lot of pain from the effort, so I am unable to finally heal myself as I should have so long ago.

Call this series of events Karma if you will. I realise that I did, and still do, deserve this punishment due to my behavior. Everything has consequences, and this is my consequence. I have lived with it for as long as I can handle, and now I feel that my punishment has been accepted and that I have learned from it. (GREAT)

I have no pride or arrogance left in me at this point, and I think that, somehow, that is a good thing because otherwise I would not be writing this and then who knows what I would become.(YOU WILL HAVE HUMILTY THOUGH ARROGANCE AND PRIDE ARE EMOTIONS THAT WILL ALWAYS BE WITH US.

So, I am begging for any help you can offer. I cannot do this alone.

Would you be able to do some healing on me? Or perhaps assess the damage and let me know about what I cannot see or sense?

I am afraid I have nothing to offer any of you in return, but I would happily repay my debt to you when I am healthy again.(YES PLEASE GET HEALTHY I WILL SEND YOU LOTS OF HEALING BUT YOU DO NEED TO WORK ON YOURSELF ALOT AS TO WHAT IS REALITY AND WHAT IS FALSE.)

I hope to receive some PM’s or replies, though I would understand if I do not.

Thank you for reading.

LOVE AND LIGHT SHAYA

shaya48

I know you mean well, but I think you are very misinformed in your opinions and conclusions and perceptions of this topic.

I understand what I experience is foreign to you and that you have only spoken of what you have experienced. But there are a lot of comments there which, had you asked rather than judged, could have been avoided in order to understand rather than ridicule and assume.

I never stated anything about fangs and fictional vampires. Nor did I state I agreed with the term "vampire," but it is convenient when explanations are concerned.

It would be beneficial for you to read and pay attention to my other replies in this topic, because it seems you have missed a few snatches of blunt information.

If you believe I am delusional and far from reality, then so be it. Your entitled to your opinion.

But unfortunately, as much as I would like that to be the case, apparently (according to psychological professionals which I had to demand to see because I was convinced I was delusional when...apparently I was not) I am perfectly capable of separating reality from spiritual matters, and spiritual matters from reality.

Because of the judgment you have passed, I will only heed some of your "advice."

I think it would be best you consider more than one point of view before voicing your opinion. Open your mind a little. Get out of your comfort zone and experience things that you would otherwise ignore and deny and run from. You don't need to accept what you experience, but I find its best to save your opinions/judgment's for things you truly know something about.

Well, Sangress, I said some of the same things that Shaya said. However I am trying to understand as you know. You do admit that it is a strange concept for anyone to wrap their minds around. It sounds as if you had a difficult time wrapping your own head around it. Perhaps the wings and tail aspect is a primordial ultra subconscious picture that you have of yourself in connection to vampiric lore or that you feel subconsciously that you are doing 'evil'. I don't really know, but I am trying to get my head around this and be helpful.

I have to agree with shaya48 on all accounts.

The closest thing I can say that relates to this is a story from my metaphysical healing practice is this: I was once brought to a young girl who thought she was invaded by a spiritual parasite, or was the incarnation of some energy eating being. Her story was identicle to yours in many ways.. feeding on lower lifeforms, people, individuals fainting and becoming weak at her touch... She claimed to try and feed on animals, stars and all that sort of thing. The wings, talons, it was almost word for word.

To make a long story short, I spoke with the girl, and she insisted that all of it was true. She had several friends by her side who claimed that they had buckled under her energy draining power just by touching her by accident.

I invited the girl to touch me, which she was hesitant to do... but finally she did so. With both her palms resting on my shoulders, I neither felt week, buckled or fainted, I was fine.

The girl was very perplexed, as were her friends... I then gave them the metaphysical explanation of the whole case, and they listened intently. After about an hour and a half.. she was able to touch her friends, and no one felt any adverse effects.. She was then cured of her subconscious anamoly that made her believe in such things.

I truly wish that I lived near you.. I would conduct a metaphysical healing session, and prove my words more true than you could ever hope to believe. You could stand with your hands on me all day........ and nothing would happen.

Be blessed

Perhaps the wings and tail aspect is a primordial ultra subconscious picture that you have of yourself in connection to vampiric lore or that you feel subconsciously that you are doing 'evil'.

Consciously, I hold no concept of myself as being anything similar to fictional vampires. I only use the "psychic vampire" terminology for convenience and because such people are the only ones I have come across who are vaguely familiar to myself. I do not consider myself to be one of them, they don't either.

Sphinx, I find the thought of someone else essentially holding the same beliefs, and non-physical form as myself to be very confronting and interesting at the same time. The chances of such a thing must be slim because I have never met anyone with remotely similar experiences to myself.

Could these "identical" similarities mean something other than freak coincidence? Could two minds be identical in their experiences and beliefs?

If I were to be skeptical...Could it be possible that such a coincidence is all to do with myself being ill informed of the truth, or the truth of the experience explained being misinterpreted by someones perceptions of what they wanted to be true?

Is it not possible for you to do a distance metaphysical healing session on myself?

Do you have to be physically present? If so, why?

If I have learned anything it is that distance is no barrier to the soul or the mind.

Why did you not speak of this experience in the first place, did it just slip your mind or did you with hold such knowledge for some important reason?

To have all of this *gestures at myself* wiped clean has been something I had searched for and lost hope of for a very long time ago. I must say I've become comfortable with my way of existing from the moment I was physically born, it took me far longer to accept this way of being and face reality and the truth of what I had been fighting against.....but essentially I can see some benefits in not being so reliant on others energy.

Also, could you perhaps give me some more detailed information on this girl, perhaps contact details?

Did you change her or the people around her to make them impervious to her?

Do you know if she has continued to be "normal"? or Reverted back to her old ways?

How old was she? When was this?

What was her reason for coming to you for healing?

I am half set on believing what you say to be true, but I do not wish to have my hopes crushed once again, so I will remain skeptical.

Originally Posted by Sangress

shaya48

I know you mean well, but I think you are very misinformed in your opinions and conclusions and perceptions of this topic.

I understand what I experience is foreign to you and that you have only spoken of what you have experienced. But there are a lot of comments there which, had you asked rather than judged, could have been avoided in order to understand rather than ridicule and assume.

I never stated anything about fangs and fictional vampires. Nor did I state I agreed with the term "vampire," but it is convenient when explanations are concerned.

It would be beneficial for you to read and pay attention to my other replies in this topic, because it seems you have missed a few snatches of blunt information.

If you believe I am delusional and far from reality, then so be it. Your entitled to your opinion.

But unfortunately, as much as I would like that to be the case, apparently (according to psychological professionals which I had to demand to see because I was convinced I was delusional when...apparently I was not) I am perfectly capable of separating reality from spiritual matters, and spiritual matters from reality.

Because of the judgment you have passed, I will only heed some of your "advice."

I think it would be best you consider more than one point of view before voicing your opinion. Open your mind a little. Get out of your comfort zone and experience things that you would otherwise ignore and deny and run from. You don't need to accept what you experience, but I find its best to save your opinions/judgment's for things you truly know something about.

IN ANSWER TO YOUR MESSAGE, I HAVE NEVER RUN FROM ANYTHING IN MY LIFE, I
ESPICIALLY REALITY, I HAVE HAD TO FACE THAT ALL MY LIFE TO BE THE PERSON I AM TODAY WITH THE KNOWLEDGE AND WISDOM I HAVE OF SPIRITUAL LAW AND SPIRITUAL MATTERS, AND THAT HAS COME FROM THE EXPERIENCES I HAVE HAD AND FACED IN MY LIFE TIME AND I AM ALOT OLDER THAN YOU.

I WAS USING THE VAMPIRE FANGS AS AN EXPAMPLE OF HOW SOME PEOPLE WILL RUN AWAY FROM REALITY AND LIVE IN FICTION PRETENDING TO BE SOMETHING THEY ARE NOT WHICH IS TRYING TO BE VAMPIRES AND BELIEVING THEY ARE. IF YOU READ MY STATEMENT PROPERLY.

I AM NOW IN MY COMFORT ZONE, BUT IT HAS TAKEN MY YEARS TO GET HERE, AGAIN YOU ARE ONLY YOUNG YOU HAVE ALOT OF LIFE IN REALITY TO EXPERIENCE YET, I HAVE EARNED MY COMFORT ZONE FACING THE TRUTH OF LIFE, NOT HIDING FROM IT OR RUNNING FROM IT.

YOU WILL LEARN HUMILITY FROM LIFE AS I DID IN MANY DIFFERENT WAYS, AND THE TRUTH WILL HURT AT TIMES BUT IT IS NEEDED.

SO MANY WILL COVER IT UP BECAUSE THEY DONT WANT TO FACE IT.

YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN HELP ;YOURSELF BY BEING IN REALITY ABOUT ALOT OF THINGS THAT JUST ARENT OF A SPIRITUAL NATURE THEY ARE GOING BEYOND WHAT IS OF REALITY.

I HOPE YOU DO FIND THE RIGHT KIND OF HELP BECAUSE YOU NEED IT TO GET BACK TO REALITY OF THE REAL WORLD, I HAVE HAD THE EXPERIENCES I HAVE HAD BUT I HAVE NEVER GONE BEYOND WHAT I DONT NEED TO WHICH ISNT PART OF MY SPIRITUAL WORK AND JOURNEY I HAVE HAD ALOT OF EXPERIENCES WITH HELPING PEOPLE WITH LOWER ASTRAL ENERGIES, AND CLEARING HOUSES OF EARTH BOUND SPIRITS, BUT I REMAINED THE SAME PERSON I DONT HAVE WINGS OR FEATHERS OR CLAWS OR SUCK ENERGY OUT OF THE AIR, SPIRITS, PEOPLE,PLANTS ANIMALS OR HUNT SPIRITS TO TAKE THEIR ENERGY OR FEED WHAT EVER THAT IS , THOSE THINGS TO ME JUST DONT ADD UP AND ARE WAY PAST ANYTHING OF ANY SPIRITUAL TEACHINGS OR HAPPENINGS.

I DO UNDERSTAND CERTAIN THINGS CAN HAPPEN TO US, BUT I AM JUST CONCERNED FOR YOU WITH SOME OF THE THINGS I MENTION ABOVE ABOUT YOURSELF.

I HOPE IT ALL WORKS OUT FOR YOU AND YOU GET THE HELP ;YOU NEED.

SHAYA

THE HARDEST THING IN MY LIFE I HAVE HAD TO FACE AND COULDNT RUN AWAY FROM WAS LOSING MY SON WHEN HE WAS 19 THAT EXPERIENCE WAS ONE OF THE WORST EXPERIENCES I HAVE EVER FACED AND HAD TO LIVE THROUGH, TO DO MY KIND OF WORK SANGRESS I HAVE HAD TO LIVE IN REALITY, AND FACE EVRYTHING HEAD ON AND DEAL WITH IT.

I WASNT PASSING JUDGEMENT ONLY GIVING THE TRUTH OF CERTAIN THINGS THAT PROBABLY OTHERS WOULD BE CONCERNED ABOUT OR QUESTION ALSO THAT SEEM FAR FROM REALITY.

FICTION IS EASY TO LIVE REALITY IS THE HARDEST AND ALTHOUGH THERE HAVE BEEN TIMES IN MY LIFE I WISH I COULD HAVE ESCAPED REALITY AND GOT AWAY FROM MANY DIFFICULT TIMES OF MY LIFE, IT JUST DOESNT HAPPEN YOU HAVE TO FACE THINGS DEAL WITH AND MOVE ON.

[7luminaries]

Sangress...you have good in you. All that is needed is a spark and your will to take the first step, and then the next, and the next...

It's possible that what may have seemed like an attack was simply self-defense. You should very rarely if ever encounter this kind of exchange if you are not as you say provoking it.

When you walk with light, you generally need very little protection...more just balancing, centreing, an occasional dusting off, or aura cleansing. Your light will basically ward off attacks or penetration and you won't even know about it. Imagine never thinking about this sort of thing Good times!

I will ask someone I know to do a healing 4you that banishes negative energy attachments.

Peace/blessings,
7L

In response to what has been said here...

Firstly, thank you to those of you who gave constructive criticism so far, and offered guidance/healing.

I would prefer this topic to stay on topic. That is, offering constructive criticism, guidance and healing rather than debating about who I am as a person and why it does not mix with your own and others beliefs, opinions or understanding.

I am not here to prove anything, or argue about what is real or not.

I am here asking for help, not opinions, not judgment, not to listen to people tell me what I am perceiving is not real or true or impossible (because I have done that before and it is more than frustrating to have to do it again...and again....etc, which is the source of my irritance with people offering their own opinions of my own perceptions which happen to be negative, rather than positive) and I am most certainly not here to pass judgment or opinions either, unless such has been done to myself first.

To those of you who care....

I have found ways to live as I always have without damaging others, or stealing from them or anything that has been a problem for others, and caused myself to become an arrogant violent monster.

I am changed, I am healing slowly and doing the right thing.

Help is still welcome, it will continue to be welcome until I am completely healed.

Oh, and I look forwards to Sphinx's reply, whether in PM or here. I need to know more.