Murdered 3 young men :/

[TonySG]

Last night I had a crazy dream which really spooked me out.

I had basically murdered 3 young men But I hadn't done it maliciously. Each murder was like a freak occurrence. It just happened and I couldn't stop it.

For a while, no-one knew about these murders but I was feeling very guilty. I thought I might get away with it. But eventually, one of the bodies was recovered from underneath a bridge. This was an area I used to hang out when I was a teenager with friends. We used to drink alcohol and smoke we*d there. I was walking past and seen police officers running to the scene to retrieve the body.

By now my anxiety was high. I saw people viewing surveillance footage of me with this young man who I had murdered, we were in the local shopping center. I was the last person he was seen with. I knew they were coming for me. I pondered killing myself but couldn't bring myself to do it.

It felt so real. I was so scared. It had a sense of deja vu to it. It didn't feel new. It felt familiar, even though I have never had this dream before.

Lately, I have been doing a lot of shadow work, particularly working on integrating wounded parts of my masculinity. I assume it's associated to that.

It really shook me up!

[PlatitudePluto]

Without knowing more context, dreams of murdering someone seem to be an indication that there's something inside yourself that you need to let go of. Since the dream seems centered around youth, is it possible that there are unhealthy patterns in your life that served you then that don't anymore?

Working on integrating wounded parts of your masculinity will do that. When you kill something, you transform it's energy. Energy never dies. It is transformed. Even if that transformation involves suppression. In learning to integrate parts of yourself that were wounded, you have to revisit the cause of the wounds and thus revisit the past, so it is not unusual to have such dreams. However, since you were scared, you need to examine that more. Why were you scared? Of being caught? Of being faced with having to take responsibility for your actions and choices? The feeling of doing something wrong? Is there such a thing? OR does it only exist within you? Make peace with those. Whenever you have such a dream where you awake feeling anything other than peace, bless those dreams. Replay them in your mind as to how you wish for them to be resolved. In this case, you may wish to turn yourself into the police and take responsibility. See that playing out. See yourself blessing those that were accidentally killed and hugging them and saying goodbye. Make good. Make peace. You will be whole.

[TonySG]

Originally Posted by Yaoughta

Working on integrating wounded parts of your masculinity will do that. When you kill something, you transform it's energy. Energy never dies. It is transformed. Even if that transformation involves suppression. In learning to integrate parts of yourself that were wounded, you have to revisit the cause of the wounds and thus revisit the past, so it is not unusual to have such dreams. However, since you were scared, you need to examine that more. Why were you scared? Of being caught? Of being faced with having to take responsibility for your actions and choices? The feeling of doing something wrong? Is there such a thing? OR does it only exist within you? Make peace with those. Whenever you have such a dream where you awake feeling anything other than peace, bless those dreams. Replay them in your mind as to how you wish for them to be resolved. In this case, you may wish to turn yourself into the police and take responsibility. See that playing out. See yourself blessing those that were accidentally killed and hugging them and saying goodbye. Make good. Make peace. You will be whole.

Thank you! That helps alot. I have done what you suggested.

Am I right in assuming these men were an aspect of me? Maybe a younger part? It makes me think I am doing this shadow work to carelessly. Yes, I was scared of being caught and punished. I am not sure if I actually felt genuine remorse for the killings.

What do you mean by this exactly? 'Energy never dies. It is transformed. Even if that transformation involves suppression.'??

Thanks again

All that exists is energy. Energy can neither be created nor destroyed. Death is just energy transformed, but as to what it transforms into is yet to be fully resolved or understood. Clearly, the energy lives on.

You're correct in assuming that they represent aspects of you. You are always what you believe yourself to be and that includes a product of what society expects you to be or your parents or your religion. You and only you are responsible for the choices you make and the integrity of your soul. Use your shadow work to uncover that which must be uncovered. Always accept responsibility for them because at one point or another they came into being because of you. Bless them and make peace with them. Forgive, accept and acknowledge.

What I mean by suppression is that we're always changing. That is what we do and the nature of things. In doing so, our energy, attention and focus changes as do our choices. Aspects of self once created and given energy do not cease to exist during this process, they simply lie dormant until focused upon. In doing shadow work and revisiting old aspects of self you are giving focusing your energy on those aspects of self that still exist whether you know it or not. They're simply dormant within you. The beautiful thing, is that you have the power to change and transform all the energy that you are even if one piece at a time.

[TonySG]

Originally Posted by Yaoughta

All that exists is energy. Energy can neither be created nor destroyed. Death is just energy transformed, but as to what it transforms into is yet to be fully resolved or understood. Clearly, the energy lives on.

You're correct in assuming that they represent aspects of you. You are always what you believe yourself to be and that includes a product of what society expects you to be or your parents or your religion. You and only you are responsible for the choices you make and the integrity of your soul. Use your shadow work to uncover that which must be uncovered. Always accept responsibility for them because at one point or another they came into being because of you. Bless them and make peace with them. Forgive, accept and acknowledge.

What I mean by suppression is that we're always changing. That is what we do and the nature of things. In doing so, our energy, attention and focus changes as do our choices. Aspects of self once created and given energy do not cease to exist during this process, they simply lie dormant until focused upon. In doing shadow work and revisiting old aspects of self you are giving focusing your energy on those aspects of self that still exist whether you know it or not. They're simply dormant within you. The beautiful thing, is that you have the power to change and transform all the energy that you are even if one piece at a time.

I felt a shift within after making peace with these parts of me and taking responsibility for my actions. Thanks so much!