I think my brother is a Energy Vampire

[GemGirl68]

Hi all, my brother has been living with my mum for over 4 years. He is an incredibly negative person and his negativity over the years has taken its toll on my mum. He has called my mum names and very recently it was nearly coming to blows. He would take out his frustration on her. When I tell him that his behaviour is unacceptable he gets very defensive and tells me that I am stupid and what I say is ridiculous and calls me names. Now we don't talk as it would stress mum out. Mum would never stick up for herself. Mum was then diagnosed with Parkinson's in 2018. To tell you the truth I'm not really sure if she does have PD or it is the effect of living with my brother that has caused the symptoms she has. One of them being pains in her Solar Plexus regularly. It feels like she has been living in stress for all those years. The good news is that it looks like she is going to be living with me until we can find somewhere for her.

She had stayed with me for a couple of months and I think she finally saw how you 'should' be cared for and I saw a big improvement in a short time, she was talking louder because she wasn't being judged for what she would say. I am hoping the longer she stays here and the fact that she knows that she won't be going back, we will see an improvement.

I'm just curious to know if anyone else has had a similar experience... and could my mums symptoms be caused by my brother?

Thank you in advance!

[Saturns_Gem]

Originally Posted by GemGirl68

Hi all, my brother has been living with my mum for over 4 years. He is an incredibly negative person and his negativity over the years has taken its toll on my mum. He has called my mum names and very recently it was nearly coming to blows. He would take out his frustration on her. When I tell him that his behaviour is unacceptable he gets very defensive and tells me that I am stupid and what I say is ridiculous and calls me names. Now we don't talk as it would stress mum out. Mum would never stick up for herself. Mum was then diagnosed with Parkinson's in 2018. To tell you the truth I'm not really sure if she does have PD or it is the effect of living with my brother that has caused the symptoms she has. One of them being pains in her Solar Plexus regularly. It feels like she has been living in stress for all those years. The good news is that it looks like she is going to be living with me until we can find somewhere for her.

She had stayed with me for a couple of months and I think she finally saw how you 'should' be cared for and I saw a big improvement in a short time, she was talking louder because she wasn't being judged for what she would say. I am hoping the longer she stays here and the fact that she knows that she won't be going back, we will see an improvement.

I'm just curious to know if anyone else has had a similar experience... and could my mums symptoms be caused by my brother?

Thank you in advance!

Hi GemGirl68,

Isn't family drama the best? I am sorry to hear that you got such a loser for a sibling. Every family has one though. The best thing you can do is be there for your mom and continue to love, care and respect her as a child should. She sounds like a sweet person for putting up with your brother's nonsense. I am sure she sees him in a different light that being her child and all. She may feel like she is helping him or that she might lose him if she tosses him out. As much as it may hurt you to watch your mother be taken advantage by him, ultimately it is her decision on how she wants to deal with him. Trying to suggest how she should handle it could end up harming the relationship the two of you have. Don't let your brother's negativity hurt what you have with her. What she needs most is a positive force in her life. Obviously your brother has some serious issues that have nothing to do with your mother. He sounds like he is unhappy with himself and is taking it out on your mom. The best you can do is try to make your mother aware of this. That she shouldn't allow his poor attitude to affect her. That as awful as he is to her, none of that anger has anything remotely to do with her. He is suffering and unfortunately his solution is to try to bring everyone down with him. Let her know you are always there for her to support her however she deals with it. When she does stick up for herself let her know how proud you are of her for doing that and happy to see her taking control and that she is a strong person for going through what she is going through. Encourage her to continue to stand up for herself indirectly just by showing praise and support when she shows any strength. Hopefully she will continue to build up her confidence and self worth.

It sounds like you are handling the situation well, your mom is lucky to have at least one good kid. I hope your brother eventually gets over himself and starts acting like a decent human being. In the end family is all you got whether you like them or not. Hopefully your brother realizes this one day.