An endearing and bittersweet soulmate.

[cosmic444]

Hey everyone,

So -- most of my posts have mentioned that college has just started for me. My senior year to be exact. And lots of spiritual happenings are about (as they would be for any awakened person). Heads up -- this is lengthy and is mostly me wanting to use this platform to release some of my emotions.

My junior year, last academic year, was actually my second time being a junior. In 2010 I started my education (at this exact same school) and dropped out my first day of being a senior in 2013. When I re-enrolled in 2015, the program I was in changed drastically. Meaning, instead of just being a senior again, I had to tack on another year before that could happen so I could catch up with the new degree coursework.

Well -- it worked for me. Because at the time, I didn't even really want to be finishing the degree I started (an art degree). Going into that year, I felt like a phony person. But I just really wanted to do the new gen ed classes and learn! This was post a major awakening and my TF was the catalyst for me to get back on this path of education.

My first day of class in 2015, I met someone that I immediately knew I had a soul connection with. It unfortunately happened to be the teacher of that class. There was just six of us, I knew no one and was out of my element totally. But he and I hit it off -- we basically lead the discussion of that class. The chemistry was awesome. And stayed that way the rest of the semester.

Because I am sensitive to these connections, I clearly began crushing hard. Its that soul recognition that gets me so excited. But this teacher literally inspired me to want to do art and finish the degree. He taught the course for the exact line of work that I my thesis is revolved around. My TF inspired me to get back on track and tie up my loose ends. This soul connection with my teacher inspired me to know what it is I actually want to do with my life.

The semester ended and I was sad. But let me reassure the forum that I had been trying to pursue regular earthly relationships, especially on the romantic spectrum, so I wasn't dwelling nor obsessing. I just felt bittersweet because I wanted to be around him and I wanted to continue to learn from him.

Then, I ended up having him second semester. For a guaranteed graduation in 2017, I don't get to pick my classes. My three years of prior education had room for the electives and the majority of degree coursework. This was actually a freshman class and part of the NEW degree program. So I had to take it to graduate and catch up in time! Sorry if this paragraph went in circles.

It was the same thing all over again. He and I talking -- him asking me to help teach the freshman. He had a lot of respect for me and likewise. He really saw potential in what I could do skill wise and I then began to realize, he was a soulmate. Obviously, not a romantic one. But the kind that we know to exist -- he is a true teacher on my path, for my soul. The energy is very gentle but like, I could probably talk to him about anything and it feels like I've known him longer than I actually do. Energetically, I feel as if in some way I have benefited him from this. He also ended up knowing my sister's husband. It was a weird sync. So, we've always been connected.

I did not dwell on walking away from that semester. He had told me he was going to be working with seniors the next year so I looked forward to it. My summer then revolved around my platonic soulmates, my soul tribe. And my TF.

Today's class was lead by one of his friends (they are in the same profession). So he stopped in to talk and its like I was hit with butterflies before I realized he was in the room. We were doing some studio work so he didn't interrupt the students, just discussed stuff with my instructor. HOWEVER, I had major internship work to get done during lunch so I just stayed in the same workspace. He came back in to talk to me. And I never was so happy. It was the best part of my day and week (as was the 44 and 444 signs that I talked about in the Signs & Synchronicity section -- thread '44 and a penny').

This is such an endearing soulmate connection, on my end. Its soul love, which doesn't have to be romantic. But because I connect so well with him, I can't help but idealize the connection to something else. I guess I'm caught in 3D idealization and 5D recognition.

Nothing romantic will ever come of us. But I know we will likely be working together more, beyond school. And for the present, he's here as a guide to keep me on track. Because of course getting the chance to see him motivates me to show up daily and produce work that I can share with him.

He's got a fiancee, I've got morals. And yeah, I think he does admire me in a way. But I respect him and I'm grateful that he guided me to my passion (beyond spirituality, but, these two can easily be bridged).

I feel so much love (AND TO CLARIFY, not 'in love'). Spiritual love. And I know that I have much protection in the present to ensure that I do finish this phase of my life... so I can progress even further. I think I need to learn to stop idealizing the energy I feel so that I don't have to sit here feeling silly for having a crush on a meant-to-be platonic and true teacher soulmate.

Has anyone else ever been in this position? Not necessarily crushing on teachers. But more so... developing feelings that you know are unnecessary for a soulmate thats meant to be platonic?