Unattainable

[Ronin]

So today when I did my meditation I walked up the path and found the chain on the ground and the gates cradled open.
I noticed I didn't feel the presence of my god like I did yesterday. As I walked through the tunnel I slowly realized he want going to be there.
At the other end a deer walked out across the path at the end of the tunnel. It stopped and looked at me then slowly continued on.

It felt a lot more empty than it did yesterday.

So I decided to try the room building.
I created myself a library. More masculine in design. A big window that over looks a stone stable and horse pasture.
I out a couple chairs by the window to overlook the pasture.

I invited my guide there.
What I got, or what I think I got, was the brown cloked man, but this time he was fuzzy, like he was vibrating.
He was sitting in the chair, but the only thing I could make out was the brown.

I don't know if that was just wishful thinking or a sign...

And the deer.
I know I have ALWAYS, even as a small child, have been fond of deer. I don't think it is coincidence I always pick a forest to visualize.
I just don't know if the meaning of the deer is the generic "The deer means ..." or if it holds a different meaning for every person.

Today's visualizations were not near as strong as yesterday's, but I guess that is going to vary day by day.

[Ronin]

Double post

[WonderLau]

Ronin, you are keeping the gates closed. Its ok, many do. I did too. Amazing how i could always get such accurate answers, except when they were to myself. I needed a very special mindset to get things through, I needed to focus a lot on allowing.
The hand you felt was your guide. He stood by you watching the gate. He understands what you're going through and he doesn't want to hurry you, but he will help.
My suggestion is: Next time you do that meditation, and if the door wont open, ask your guide to hold your hand and walk through it with you.

Ronin, the doubts you have are normal, and everybody has them at some point. It's part of the journey .

By the way, my guide is a samurai too. ;)

PS: I only noticed now you had a breakthrough. Hmmm, a power animal. Play with it. Its fun!