Modern rules of friendship

[Shinsoo]

I really would like to go back to some sort of bartering system--where everyone has a role and helps out the community in their own way. Where even artists and entertainers have a place.

None of this mindless busywork that depletes our vitality.

[froebellian]

It's about choice and control. Many assume because you have a phone it is for the convenience of others, where in fact it is for your convenience.

You can switch it off, or choose not to answer it. As someone who used to have 3 phones and who used them all day (personal, a work phone, and a work work phone), learning to switch off took time. It's then trying to educate others that just because you have a phone doesn't mean they can contact you when they want, it's for you to contact people when you want.

[linen53]

I agree froebellian, many times I choose not to answer the phone whether it's my landline or cell. I'll get back to them when I have the time.

I tell my husband I won't allow my cell to become my collar and leash.

[ocean breeze]

Originally Posted by Baile

That's good, great way to stay out of jail and avoid lawsuits.

How many times have you changed your response?

My response is equivalent to a man annoyed with the traffic saying that he wishes he had a tank so he can run over all the cars ahead. Meanwhile if he really did have a tank he wouldn't do any of that. Not to avoid prison or lawsuit but out of human decency. He is only expressing annoyance with the situation.

I don't think it's anything to do with electronic devices. Cell phones don't turn people into nasty beings. Nasty people use cell phones.

I think the reason true friendship, trust, respect have gone out the window is because there are now more narcissists, ie abusers, around than ever before in history.

Throughout the history of mankind, people supported each other, looked out for one another, made each other's business their own, cared for one another, they became genuine friends to such an extend they would give their lives for their friends, they got married because they loved their partner.

And nowadays? Well, you got people abusing each other, scamming each other, fake friends who pretend to be your best friend but who really want to stab you in the back or at least get your husband/wife into their bed, you got people who couldn't care less about each other, neighbors who don't know each other, you got scammers all over the internet infiltrating each and every forum, dating site, friendship site, even game sites, you got people so void of any emotions that they don't care if someone gets abused in front of them - they have the "I'm alright Jack" attitude (which means as long as they are okay they don't care about anyone else).

People are now driven by this crazy insanity that they must have more and more, whether this be the latest gadget, car, or even person that they want (hence adultery is through the roof), they believe they need to have their own needs and wants satisfied at any cost, they believe in nothing other than what the television tells them - and the television says they must get what they want at all costs even if it means that marriages and lives get destroyed along the way.

This extreme selfishness and this narcissism is what has destroyed genuine friendships. It's now so rare to find someone who one can trust that this is the proverbial needle in the haystack. And if one gets harmed by someone who one trusted - then it's the victim that gets ridiculed, not the wicked scammer, which is the worst aspect of modern society!

If you do find a good, genuine friend - treasure them because they are a rarity! But better to have one good friend than many fake friends. I have one good friend. That's better than a million fake friends.

As for cell phones - be glad when they ring. Mine never does. No one calls me, except the odd - very rare - call from someone at work about a work issue. I'm always the only person on the train who is not waffling on the phone or texting. People even stare at me on the train as if to say "why aren't you on the phone". I stare back at them as if to say "why aren't you off your phone for a few minutes". It's ridiculous. But if the phone rings, at least someone values how you are, or your opinion, or your advice.

[Exa4310]

Originally Posted by Mysticrose37

Is it just me? Or has this world become so narcissistic that we have lost the ability to communicate. To share in the simple joys of life. To relish in each others achievements. To stand by and support each other in ones time of need. How do we go back to a simplier times? When community and friendship weren't foreign words.

I think this is because of social media

[SearchingFreedom]

I don't agree with you criticising phones and internet.

For my "special" soul problems it was very necessary to look for, and still is, to look for people who are going through what I am going through. Wether it is my belief in both, Jesus and reincarnation(do not want to meet people in my church questioning me it goes on my nervs!) or the twin flame problems or some other experiences in my life and soul.

My surrounding is nothing I want to meet, defenitely!

I miss true friends but I need to find people understanding me.

[linen53]

I am currently reading a book by Jamie Zeppa titled Beyond the Sky and the Earth.

She is a young woman who went to teach n Bhutan in the 90's. In this book she describes the people there:

We pass through villages where the entire community is at work in one family's fields, or where everyone has gathered to help build a house, plastering the woven bamboo wall with mud. Each village seems a world unto itself, a tight knit, closely related, interdependent community, with an elected gup who acts the headman, settling minor disputes and keeping whatever community records exist. A wealtheir family may have paid for the grinding stones to extract oil from mustard seeds, or a manual threshing machine, but these are often used by everyone. Everyone know what everyone else has-their belongings, their business, their plans, their problems. It is not possible here t close your doors to your neighbors, to live in tiny isolated units, nodding impersonally as you pass each other. In fact, the privacy that we so zealously guard in the West would be fatal here, where a mountain stands between one village and the next, between one village and the nearest hospital, wireless office, shop.

In other words, our wealth, our abundance of 'modern appliances' have killed our interdependence to one another. If we want a house built, we hire a building contractor. If we want to pave roads we pay taxes so our local government will make the roads for us.

In another section she speaks in detail of her privacy. In Bhutan she has none. Her students are at her house first thing in the morning and after school, often sleeping over. She talks about how she wishes she could just come home from work after teaching all day and just have some peace and quiet and privacy. But that is not the way in Bhutan.

But overall she has fallen in love with her children she teaches and the way of life in Bhutan. The simplicity of it all. The pureness of the people.

[Mysticrose37]

Thank you linen 53. I might have to look at reading that book.

[linen53]

It's an awesome book Mystic. I am lovin' it.