Originally Posted by Nature Grows
"I posses everything- all so fake
Hence I have nothing - to put at stake
I'll tell you a secret- and he'll it's true
I am the Aghori, dwelling deep in You."
Thank you, that was very sweet...and THIS Aghori is being used and effed over.
So, I arrive at my brother's place to spend two weeks and I was given the "spare room".
The spare room is full of gym equipment, broken furniture, no mattress on the bed, with wood and household fittings on the bed...so, I was told "whatever you do, don't touch or move anything.." so, I respond with "where am I gonna sleep then?" and I was given like a 3 foot square patch of floor space with "there!".
I said that for my advancing age and state of mental health, this was not
acceptable and they said "well, leave then!" and I said "finally and gladly" to which they realised they still NEEDED me there, so had to come up with something better if they didn't want me to walk away.
So, my sister in law got out an old, rusty fold out stretcher bed, cleaned off an extra two feet of room and put in there...I made it up and was comfortable for the night.
The next day, my brother comes in with "you know that bed you are slept on last night? I promised it to the neighbours today because they are going camping...I promised it a week ago...a few days before I realised you were coming...so I am very sorry, but you can't use that bed again tonight'...this was bulls*** of course.
My family LOVES giving me things and taking them away again as soon as I get used to it or start liking it...it has ALWAYS been this way and I am treated no better than an animal.
So, they took the fold up bed away...and then I went into my car, where I kept a small piece of foam and an extra pillow...so I brought them in from my car and set them up on my 5ft square of floorspace that I am ALLOWED to now have.
So, after I set my bed up...just after, my sister in law came in and said "your nephew is having a friend stay over tonight...it's a shame we had to give that fold up bed away...oh look, some foam and a pillow...THAT will do..." and I had to say "back off, sis...that belongs to ME...that is MINE and I don't allow other people to touch my things either, sorry".
With that, her face changed...she called me 'selfish' and uncaring/unsharing...to which, I said..."listen, my love...I have a severe mental illness
and one of the things which triggers the symptoms, is not having any control whatsoever over my basic living conditions no matter where
I am. If you are going give me things, don't take them away or else just don't give them to me...because stuff like that brings out my homicidal streak...now please leave me alone."