I want to die.

TheDivineOne · #1 01-06-2017, 11:05 AM

Death is something I look forward to.

I don't enjoy this lifetime at all.

This lifetime feels like Hell.

I want to die, then reincarnate.

I want to experience what death is like.

I want to experience what reincarnation is like.

I don't want to live long or to grow old.

I want to be born female in my next and in many succeeding lifetimes.

This lifetime feels agonizingly long as I await it's end.

I want to start over and have a redo.

Dude · #2 01-06-2017, 11:35 AM

Aww :( the divine one I do hope you are ok and will seek help if needed...

I'm curious though, I too believe in reincarnation, but to me we all have lessons to learn in each life we choose/are given... so if we was to leave too soon surely we would just need to comeback to learn the very same lesson.

What will make you happy in this life? There is always a way, even if you was in the wrong body (you mentioned wanting to come back as female) there are ways to change the outer to match the inner... maybe it's worth talking to your doctor if things are really bad. You can and will find happiness if you work at it

lyzth · #3 01-06-2017, 11:42 AM

Death is a sacred moment, it is a very surprise. So, live the now and here.

Dargor · #4 01-06-2017, 11:58 AM

Cheers. Let's hope for the best that reincarnation indeed exists.

Shivani Devi · #5 01-06-2017, 01:12 PM

It is going to happen inevitably anyway, so why rush it?

This lifetime only feels like hell because you won't allow it to be a heaven. There's something very beautiful inside the heart if people could only let themselves feel what that is, but they are afraid of being hurt.

What I am talking about can't hurt you - love can't hurt unless you have grown cold and cynical towards it.

I'm not talking about loving others in the superficial sense, but loving who you are...what makes you believe in yourself and looking within, without judgment, without fear...just embracing your own spirit.

Then life will be as short as it can ever be.

shoni7510 · #6 01-06-2017, 01:46 PM

Our time on Earth is like a bleep and then it is over, literally from the cradle to the grave. No matter how long you think it is going that is just in your mind. Start focusing on enjoying each day as if it is the last and finding your happiness amid your turmoil. Whatever it is that is bothering you won't last forever, the tide will turn. Consider seeking professional help like a therapist and talk about in great detail. Death will come to you soon enough and you will suddenly miss this life once again.

Debrah · #7 01-06-2017, 02:02 PM

Like Dude, I believe that we are here for a specific experience and that if you short circuit that purpose, you'll probably just come back and do it all again. Sort of like if you quit high school in the middle, the day will come when you are going to want your life to go a certain way, certain job and you'll just have to make up all those course after all.

I understand though all of your sentiments TheDivineOne. I hear about the cruelty in our world daily and I hate it. I'm fed up, every cruelty seems worse than the last and worse, no one seems to care and I just want to be out of here.

At least I'm older (62) and my daily mantra is 22/10, 22/09, 22/08. My family seems to live to be about 86 so that's 22 more years, 10 months, 22 more years, 9 months..........and in the meantime, I'm getting my paperwork organized and where I want my family to spread my ashes is picked and they've been advised.

If you can't seem to find a way to 'enjoy' each day, at least try for just putting up with them and make plans for how you'd like your send off to go. Sometimes it takes the pressure off your mood just a little bit.

TheDivineOne · #8 01-06-2017, 02:30 PM

I guess the point of this lifetime was for me to appreciate being a woman for all it's worth and to not take it for granted. That's what it seems anyway.

The only thing i have to look forward to is finishing my transition, and then in my life after this being a full-fledged female from birth to death, and then repeat.

Edited to add:
People keep saying life is precious. But at this time I don't feel that way. Living this life is something i take for grated. I don't appreciate life when I've spent 20-something years of my life being somebody i'm not. Only when i am a girl is then when i will appreciate life for everything it's worth. But until then i don't mind maintaining my cavalier "I've learned my lesson, so can i go now?" attitude.

#9 13-07-2017, 02:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheDivineOne

I guess the point of this lifetime was for me to appreciate being a woman for all it's worth and to not take it for granted. That's what it seems anyway.

The only thing i have to look forward to is finishing my transition, and then in my life after this being a full-fledged female from birth to death, and then repeat.

Edited to add:
People keep saying life is precious. But at this time I don't feel that way. Living this life is something i take for grated. I don't appreciate life when I've spent 20-something years of my life being somebody i'm not. Only when i am a girl is then when i will appreciate life for everything it's worth. But until then i don't mind maintaining my cavalier "I've learned my lesson, so can i go now?" attitude.

Hmmm... that is a bit of a gamble. If you are right, and you really have learned all that this life experience has to offer, then perhaps you are better off dropping out of school. On the other hand, if not, then the life you have to repeat may be rather similar to the one you are living now. Most people I know who dropped out of school ended up struggling later on... but there are those stories of drop outs who became entrepreneurs and billionaires, so who knows.

I do think that regardless of what lesson(s) life has to teach us, believing we already know it will make it harder to learn. Perhaps suffering is what it feels like when life is trying to bestow a bit of wisdom on us and we, thinking we already have it, are resisting. Perhaps many things in life have to be learned the hard way, and that way just keeps getting harder and harder until we realize we don’t really know what we thought we did and we open ourselves back up and let life teach us.??

I suppose it is possible that you are a fast learner and have learned everything this life story has to teach you and you can now not pay attention, skip class, or just drop out. But that is a bit of a risk... you would not want to find yourself in a women’s body in the next life convinced life would be prefect if you could just be a full-fledged man. Anyway, it’s your education, I expect that one way or another we eventually gain the wisdom our souls need and desire.

Des39 · #10 22-07-2017, 09:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheDivineOne

I guess the point of this lifetime was for me to appreciate being a woman for all it's worth and to not take it for granted. That's what it seems anyway.

Apparently, that's NOT the point of your lifetime. You cannot learn to appreciate what you already appreciate. That's no lesson.

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheDivineOne

Only when i am a girl is then when i will appreciate life for everything it's worth. But until then i don't mind maintaining my cavalier "I've learned my lesson, so can i go now?" attitude.

You have not learned your lesson yet. As soon as you learn what you were meant to learn, you would not be bothered by it anymore and/or you will be free to go. But as you are still here, your lesson is still waiting to be learned and exams to be passed. As soon as you pass, it's over.