How do you guys feel about cheating?

[TheFish]

When people enter into a relationship, they rarely remember that on a level they are entering into what is essentially an unwritten contract. Modern society has mostly dictated that our relationships are monogamous, however I honestly don't think that's what the human mind has originally developed.

Humans I believe are naturally poly-amorous, which is why at some point in every relationship, both partners naturally have those thoughts or feelings which leads them to want to 'roam'. I know I have definitely had those feelings before and I think the majority of us have, even though we try to deny it. Just because you are in a relationship, it doesn't stop you finding other people attractive, does it?

If you are entered into a fully committed, monogamous relationship. Then yes, cheating physically is definitely wrong. Cheating emotionally goes to show that there is an unbalance in the relationship, the person roaming is probably not getting something out of the relationship that they are needed. Or not being able to give it to the other person (this can be a lot of things).

I believe in free-love and polyamory personally. But its a hard concept for a lot of people to understand in our modern society that dictates the nuclear family as the norm.

Check out the article below, it makes for interesting reading.

http://www.vice.com/en_uk/read/i-gre...-household-528

[TheGlow]

Originally Posted by TheFish

When people enter into a relationship, they rarely remember that on a level they are entering into what is essentially an unwritten contract. Modern society has mostly dictated that our relationships are monogamous, however I honestly don't think that's what the human mind has originally developed.

Humans I believe are naturally poly-amorous, which is why at some point in every relationship, both partners naturally have those thoughts or feelings which leads them to want to 'roam'. I know I have definitely had those feelings before and I think the majority of us have, even though we try to deny it. Just because you are in a relationship, it doesn't stop you finding other people attractive, does it?

If you are entered into a fully committed, monogamous relationship. Then yes, cheating physically is definitely wrong. Cheating emotionally goes to show that there is an unbalance in the relationship, the person roaming is probably not getting something out of the relationship that they are needed. Or not being able to give it to the other person (this can be a lot of things).

I believe in free-love and polyamory personally. But its a hard concept for a lot of people to understand in our modern society that dictates the nuclear family as the norm.

Check out the article below, it makes for interesting reading.

http://www.vice.com/en_uk/read/i-gre...-household-528

I believe something similar. I believe if we were not programmed to think we could only love one person there would be no fear of losing our loved ones so no need to limit or control who they can love.

If humans could be trusted to love honestly and not fool one another for sex and material gain, ego gratification, I think polyamory would be a utopian ideal.

I see it more as tribalism. As in we all take care of each other, provide what we can for each other and love and encourage one another. I would love that but unfortunately people are selfish and most can't be trusted.

I would be happy to have my husband be spoiled with love from others who truely love him and I know I am capable of loving more than one person. unfortunatley the danger is some people are conniving and while they may present themselves as not being out to cause trouble there have been times under the poly guise people have used that to tare previous relationships apart.

In theory it is beautiful. I'm just not sure humans are ready.
To much greed, jealousy, fear and selfish willingness to manipulate others.

I think for it to work all people would have to love each other not just each person loving their individual partners. "Sister wives"/"brother husbands" kind of thing. Just not likely in current society.

in any relationship cheating should not be tolerated in my opinion.

[LadyMay]

Originally Posted by TheGlow

I would be happy to have my husband be spoiled with love from others who truely love him

This is an important point, because when we are selfish we think "how dare anyone else love my partner that way"... but when we are truly coming from a place of love how can it not make you anything but happy? That the person you love is getting MORE love? It's a beautiful concept but as you said, humanity is not ready for it yet.

Actually I just read over what I wrote and realised that it's not the fear of them getting more love, but the fear of us getting less love. We think there's not sufficient for us, so we feel lonely and separated... so we control them to prevent ourselves from feeling like that. We don't care about their happiness at all.

[TheGlow]

Scarlett - to take it further. How can I not love someone who deeply loves someone I deeply love?

United by love for a common person we should ideally want to all lift each other's burdens and make each other's lives better and brighter.

Too bad we aren't there yet.

[Captain]

On the other hand, you kinda get to the place where your self-worth is so great that being cheated on doesn't have affect on you, nor do you attract those kind of people in the first place.... so it really becomes a non-issue. At least for me, it's the last thing I'd think about anymore, as I'm secure enough in my own love.

You've got to be kidding? If cheating doesn't have an effect on you then you have either transcended the need to be in a relationship or have a personality disorder. To love in the flesh one must need to feel pain as well.

[Captain]

Originally Posted by TheGlow

Scarlett - to take it further. How can I not love someone who deeply loves someone I deeply love?

United by love for a common person we should ideally want to all lift each other's burdens and make each other's lives better and brighter.

Too bad we aren't there yet.

Wow talk about choosing the longest and most circuitous path.

There's this thing called intimacy btwn 2 lovers, it's profound and binds you on many levels and that intimacy needs to be monogamous to survive. Should this not interest you, you prefer the life similar to a monk or nun, not a swinger. Vietnamese Buddhism is known for it's volumes of sacred text written on this very subject.

Everyone I've met who chose this route eventually comes back around to monogamy. Fine should you choose this but to promote it on spiritual forums to confuse and mislead the genuine is an act that may evoke a karmic response to paraphrase Buddhist scriptures, be careful. Good luck!

Yeah I won't deal with that. Cheating is no good in any form when you are in a relationship. That is my take.

[wstein]

Originally Posted by twilightsuzi

Whether it be physical or emotional, how do you guys feel about it, on a spiritual side? what if the person was your soulmate/twin flame?

That is a totally unfair question. By prejudging it as 'cheating', you have already determined its a 'bad' thing.

Willingly going against your agreement/contract with with a person in generally not in alignment with spiritual tenets. However, what really matters is why you did it. Someone being your SM/TF does not dictate what you 'obligations' are to that person. There is of course some kind of implied agreement but the nature of it is not 'standard'.

What do you really want to know? Are you asking if it's alright to have more than one lover? Do you want to know if its OK to lie? Do you want to know if you are permitted to love others than you TF/SM?

[TheGlow]

C

Originally Posted by Captain

Wow talk about choosing the longest and most circuitous path.

There's this thing called intimacy btwn 2 lovers, it's profound and binds you on many levels and that intimacy needs to be monogamous to survive. Should this not interest you, you prefer the life similar to a monk or nun, not a swinger. Vietnamese Buddhism is known for it's volumes of sacred text written on this very subject.

Everyone I've met who chose this route eventually comes back around to monogamy. Fine should you choose this but to promote it on spiritual forums to confuse and mislead the genuine is an act that may evoke a karmic response to paraphrase Buddhist scriptures, be careful. Good luck!

Seriously you are threatening me with karma because I am discussing a theoretical evolution of relationships. Based on basically oneness?

Idealy love shouldn't be about possession.

I said it myself society isn't ready but I still believe if people were good, and could be trusted to truly love deeply, unconditional, and unselfishly there would be no reason to limit love.