How do you guys feel about cheating?

[twilightsuzi]

Whether it be physical or emotional, how do you guys feel about it, on a spiritual side? what if the person was your soulmate/twin flame?

[Frederick33]

I think its very wrong in what ever way

the wrong you cause would come back to you sure

the pain you cause ?

ah but than you think the other will never know o.k.

but you know ! it will than be part of what you are

if some thing does not feel right perhaps try to find out why ?

is it a good thing it does not feel right or a bad

some things are not feeling right out of guilt you should not have

others cos it just is not a good thing to do

also perhaps what you don't want to happen to you don't do it to

others :-) each situation in place and time can be different so who knows ?

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much love and light to you and all here

[Serrao]

Originally Posted by twilightsuzi

Whether it be physical or emotional, how do you guys feel about it, on a spiritual side? what if the person was your soulmate/twin flame?

I think cheating is not good to do.
It hurts the other (also on a subconscious level).
And it makes you a secretive person.
And don't forget karma.
If you feel attracted to someone else, in my opinion, it's better to end the current relationship first and then move on to the next.

Originally Posted by twilightsuzi

Whether it be physical or emotional, how do you guys feel about it, on a spiritual side? what if the person was your soulmate/twin flame?

Total deal breaker as in I will walk and not look back.

[LadyMay]

Cheating... I think, because it's done in secret, it makes it less than desirable (not going to say 'wrong' since these things are subjective). I think that everything has to be laid out on the table, and I always believed in free-love but of course that is different to cheating. Free-love everyone is aware and in consent, that's the difference.

On the other hand, you kinda get to the place where your self-worth is so great that being cheated on doesn't have affect on you, nor do you attract those kind of people in the first place.... so it really becomes a non-issue. At least for me, it's the last thing I'd think about anymore, as I'm secure enough in my own love.

I don't judge those who do engage in it, especially if it's with a soul-connection (totally understand that), but just think that there's an inner balance that's not come to yet for those who find themselves in such situations. And not the external balance to reflect that.

It's important for people in relationships to work to the same rules. If vows or expectations are set, then it's a failed spirit that can't keep to them.

Cheating usually means having a bit on the side in secret. To me it also means lies and deceit. If someone has to tell lies or deceive me (hide something about themselves or what they're doing in which I may have an interest), there IS no relationship. With me it's unnecessary. I don't get cross with the truth (i.e the most accurate information they can give me).

Of course relationships depend on either both (or more) partners compromising and accommodating the other's whimsies, aspirations and so on which will usually involve changing those "rules" which is acceptable.

I tend to agree with ScarlettHayden, above. If you're sure of yourself it barely matters because you can act + it comes to a point where you don't attract dishonest people. I am perhaps more dismissive of people who pretend they're relating when really there's no relationship - just a sex outlet on tap.

[Lucyan28]

It feels wrong in so many levels.

I was a cheater in my last relationship (6 years ago). I still feel a little regret about it, but I have forgave myself.

I tried to excuse myself with this lie:

-"it's my first relationship, I didn't have the opportunity to be with more people, then I'm going to be with this new person just to know how it feels"

What I've learned about it was that if we lie (cheating is one kind of a lie), then the lie becomes a very heavy burden.

And we all know, we don't want to have burdens and remorse with us, it is just too much for the consciousness.

Now add the stress of the work, the diseases, any other problems that we all have.

So cheating... never again !

[LadyMay]

Originally Posted by Lucyan28

I tried to excuse myself with this lie:

-"it's my first relationship, I didn't have the opportunity to be with more people, then I'm going to be with this new person just to know how it feels"

It's interesting because it's that "grass is greener on the other side" syndrome, we feel we are lacking something and attribute that to our SO, which makes us restless and looking for something better even though the issue is a discontentedness with ourselves....

[Lucyan28]

Originally Posted by ScarlettHayden

It's interesting because it's that "grass is greener on the other side" syndrome, we feel we are lacking something and attribute that to our SO, which makes us restless and looking for something better even though the issue is a discontentedness with ourselves....

Hi Scarlett

You are totally right, I had a lot of issues going on back then

It would be nice if I had that knowledge before, about the "grass is greener on the other side" syndrome.

It's funny how we search answers outside, engaging us in silly decisions that sooner or later we will regret later, when we have all the answers inside of us.

Anyway all experiences are medicine for the soul !

[Lilyth Von Gore]

Going to play Devil's Advocate here.

Before I came to the realisation that I was Poly, my relationships didn't last very long. Mostly due to me becoming detached and, well, bored. I had the Grass is Greener syndrome.

So yes. Before I knew what Poly was, I cheated.
First time was in a long distance relationship.
Second time was in a second long distance relationship.
Third time was was not in a long distance relationship.

Am I proud? Hell no.
Do I regret it? Hell no.
Know why? Because I never cheated to be vindictive, or to hurt someone.
Cheating always did one of two things for me.
Make me realise that no, actually, I did have feelings for the person I was cheating on, or make me realise that any feelings I had were gone and the relationship was going nowhere.

In all three instances, it's always been the latter.
It's always been "Well, damn. I don't actually feel anything..."
By doing what I did, I backed myself into a corner and forced myself to end the relationships.

I know there are people here who will judge me, call me cruel, unkind, etc... But I really don't care.
Do I ever own up to cheating? Yes. Once the dust has settled and feelings aren't running so high. And I always explain why.

So do I think cheating is wrong?
It can be. Depending on the circumstances.
And for the record?
In the two long distance relationships? No one blamed me for cheating.