Can you forgive someone who left you

[GalTrav]

... at your lowest? When you were struggling looking for work and now that you have a stable one is trying to come back to your life?

[JessicaVibes91]

If you can find a plausible reason for their actions other than "selfishness, greed, inferiority or superiority complex, and general carelessness", you might want to give them another chance. But if they did what they did knowing fully well about your disadvantaged position and they cannot justify it, it's better to have such negative influence out of your life.

This I say by personal experience.

[shoni7510]

Forgiveness is a very personal decison and should be given very sparingly to people who deserve it; it should not come too easily.

[Aube Borealis]

If you have loved the person unconditionally, forgiveness is easily given but you always remember the lesson.

Giving a second chance is different and it depends on gravity of damage done. if it traumatized you, still hurting and haunts you everytime, it is better to distant yourself. Be kind to yourself.

[H:O:R:A:C:E]

do unto others as you would have done unto you. [Luke 6:31]

forgive yourself for having conjured the situation in which you
felt it might be appropriate to condemn someone for something.
your power is supreme. no one has a motivation which you've
not provided for them: you are the source of your reality.

It's up to you. Is it even something to forgive?
People are as they are. Even the most spiritually inspired don't
change overnight, let alone the unspiritual.

- You can forgive all you like but is the same behaviour
likely to happen again under similar circumstances?

- Can you lower your expectations enough that if it happens again
you can deal with it more positively?

- Might it be better to convert forgiving into "don't care"?

These are things you must ask yourself. Desertion, disloyalty, treachery are things
I might forgive along the lines of "I forgive x for what they are - but I
won't have them back in my life again."

♥

[Nature Grows]

Matt Kahn just released a video about forgiveness, maybe you might like it or find it helpful. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nSgI1kxvzUk

[GalTrav]

I got rid of everything that reminds me of this person, pics, stuff given to me etc. It didn't help one single bit. A few days, weeks ago I felt numb, emotionless. All of a sudden tonight, I guess I've been suppressing it for a very long time, it's coming out. All the pent up anger and pain. It helps now to be writing about it. I'm not good at confrontation. I try to avoid it. I resent this person left me.

It's been almost three months.

[JessicaVibes91]

Originally Posted by GalTrav

It's been almost three months.

Three months is a long time. You don't realize it but you're probably closer to healing. Going back to what your life once was will only make it even more difficult for you to recover.

Rid your heart of this burden and confront the other person once and for all. But don't put yourself in a compromised position again.

[Melahin]

You can, so the question is will you?

From an attraction point of view it is a mere question of attraction. Where you in a place that was attractive to this person? Probably not. Are you now in a place that is, and by that very thing is drawing that person back in? Sounds like it. So maybe this person never left you, maybe you just for awhile moved in different direction, and now once more are moving towards a shared space. Question you might ask is did you like spending time with this person?