My twin flame experience...wow!!

[57tcjc75]

@Helix6, perhaps when one steps back it's about both grounding. If one has the courage to (?) step back if need be, for now, to allow for time to work on self. The, "crazy," part is what I'm afraid of a bit in my current connection.

He comes around, a lot, when he comes around, & I feel I have to back off to breathe.. not that is is like this the same with the others, but this one in particular (connection). I need to keep my own life in motion.. The, "effect," of his coming around a lot doesn't bother him like it does me. Some of my other connections NEED the space like I do.

I sense, I'm struggling to work through, he's struggling to work through & for he and I it is our friendship, not more.
Balancing is probably where the energy can go with self, connection.
They beautiful thing as that the soul connections never really go away.
Sometimes for myself, I think the, "going crazy," part because of intensity has to be dealt with. Maybe to work on self during these periods of time. I've noticed that there is tremendous healing & the self work part is as important as together & also focusing on Source (my God is my Source).
Splitting to 3D if connected can be one heck of a ride.. it's a journey!
I'm nervous for myself being so physically close (he lives down the hallway in same apt. complex).
I want to move, to run, to have him closer, yet away.. I want him to grow up, he is grown up.. SO, the dance, yes, someone said that today on forum.

[Helix6]

Yes I think there is a lot regarding this...

I think it was so intense he feels confused and overwhelmed again. Still running on controlling things and being very logic, but there's nothing logical in TF connection so I guess it must be really frightening for him.

Originally Posted by 57tcjc75

He comes around, a lot, when he comes around, & I feel I have to back off to breathe.. not that is is like this the same with the others, but this one in particular (connection). I need to keep my own life in motion.. The, "effect," of his coming around a lot doesn't bother him like it does me. Some of my other connections NEED the space like I do.

I think there is definitely something very similar for him in our case.
The tsunami has already destroyed everything around him since we met back. The sudden Kundalini he doesn't understand and about he is still looking for rational explanations.
He also tries to keep control on things/people to stay in his safe position...noticed that after our last meeting he has been very aggressive against people on social media post, whereas he is so tender and careful with me. Maybe he thinks he doesn't deserve it...

The beautiful thing as that the soul connections never really go away.

So true...

Just before we meet back last time, I dreamt of him...we were talking about our issues with our own dad.
First I thought it was just a projection of my desires because I missed him so much, but we met again like 1or 2 weeks later...the scene happened like in my dream !! We didn't have the same discussion but we were in the same position in bed just talking tenderly and caressing each other hair... :-)
And I know the issues talked in the dream were REAL. Its like we meet for real on a spiritual plane and talk about ourselves freely. Its amazing and reassuring like I know with proof now that the connection is NEVER lost and still running in higher dimensions when physically apart.

Sometimes when I think of him (like now lol) I have ear buzzing so maybe its when he also thinks of me at this exact moment (?).

First I was doubtful about our connection but each time there is amazing signs that show us we are of the Same soul. At least same vibration !

So now I keep having strong faith as I Know we will find back. My insecurities are slowly starting to fly off. I don't feel unloved anymore when I have no signs from him. I start to love myself enough to be OK with that.
I mean it's like in my head now something has unlocked like "OK he is not ready yet so let him doing his inner work and it will be fine." I know he deeply loved me and is full of fears. So I send him more love.

I had also lately signs on TV sayin : " Respect of timing is primordial". :)

The disturbing thing is that I met a guy just before meeting again last time...but I felt something strange about this guy (narcissist traits/ negative part)...and of course the TF went back on the scene at this moment lol.
Its like the Universe always brings you back together when needed.
Previously I met a guy also on Tinder and he was friend with his bro..!! Mind blowing ! (I live in a big city).
(But even mindblowingyou are in the same buildings lool.)
Each time I tried to forget the connection/move on there was a ****in SIGN bringing back him to me. And I'm sure it's pretty the same for him (maybe even stronger for him because he's the runner).

So I dont know how to handle it. Because nothing is developing with him yet but I can't reconsider going back with the previous guy now.I feel confused.
I guess it's just a suggestion to be only in relationship with myself for now...?

[57tcjc75]

@Helix6,

You say:
"He also tries to keep control on things/people to stay in his safe position,"
in regards to your connection.

I can relate to this aspect for myself. I was single many years, & got used to taking care of myself. When I married first connection person (conscious connection/awakening guy), I had to loose of a lot of control
(that I had over my own life). In ways it felt very safe because of our connection. I do not regret knowing him, I get it now.

The one thing that I continue to notice, with the close soul connections...
the work on self, love, healing, is perhaps amplified during these, & aligned with Source (for me, God).
My connections.. first conscious twin flame, I am the health nut, exercise, eating healthy, he would smoke cigarettes to calm him down. I am NOT a risk taker unless I feel safe enough doing so, I am slow to change. He is opposite, he is much more willing to take risks & more often than I am.
The 2nd conscious twin flame meeting he is the same, but he did not smoke cigarettes & was more open to healthy, exercise, eating. It's not that orig t.f. guy didn't eat healthy but his tendencies are risk taking more appealing, & to suppress by cigarettes..... the way we go about our lives/ protecting self & change is different & I think this is a part of the awareness, healing.

I .. have to consciously work on myself with current t.f. guy as it is somewhat similar with him & I also. He would rather smoke 5 packs of cigs, & not eat any food but only drink coffee, & be out with people all day doing this.. where as I would stay inside all day exercising and eating healthy, alone if need be.

I have to push myself to stay balanced, to continue what I am good at but get out. I am pickier maybe as to groups I go to, where as he is out around a lot of people often.

So his challenge is maintaining some health (& honestly he seems not one bit concerned about quitting smoking, he says he is but nothing changes, and the doctor told him his lungs have quit functioning). He is rarely sick, he often will drink only coffee, not much food.. so I think his "fasting," probably has helped in his regenerating new cells...BUT... this is an area that he is weak (the cigs).

For myself, I need him to keep away from me enough so I do not get too dependent on his wanting to be around me too much. The cig smoke I can't stand.. so that bothers me, he does not smoke around me, but the fact he smokes irritates me.. But I don't get out as much as maybe I need to socially & I am working on this & do.. but if he comes around too much then I'm not doing my own work. He is not doing his work if he comes around me too much.

I think both of us as Christians, our idea of center is ultimately the same. I love him, he loves me, we are connected.. He is more like a grandson/son but we are same age. I don't get out enough at times, have to push myself this way, he is out all the time.. kind of like a grandma & grandson, I'm home too much he's not home enough.. we have separate homes.
BUT the love.. understanding is the center part of this.

I would say if I had pick one, of the twin flames that resonated more closely as to who is closest (next to my twin ray), I would say it was that one I met after twin ray.. as we are more alike.. But these connections are each one so unique & purposed, I think for the love, understanding of the person at core self, then to work on one's own weaknesses (& strengths).
To see someone I love, these ones, who are so opposite in ways, yet so similar in our spirit selves, from beginning of time.. then the security is as much in dimensional healing, realizing 3D, & releasing to healing enough to keep self there. This IS the tricky part I think for myself.

He wants to come around .. a lot... I want him around, then not...
He will keep smoking his cigs till he dies I think... I will likely keep on exercising more than maybe I need to ultimately..
BUT if this is a time when there is CHANGE that is about a higher dimension, soon.. I would say, maybe we both will change, "in a twinkling of an eye," and all be caught up, my closest of souls, in Heaven with God.
I just have to trust God and work on me, and keep loving.

I do think, it is about working on ourselves. Yes, to love at all times, & see perhaps the humor in how different people are & loving them anyway.
The absurdity is perhaps of seeing higher dimensions, & working things out in 3D. But that's life. It's the lessons.. trying to find peace, centering & growth.
Hang in there. The awareness people have going through this I think too is about helping others to SEE in ways maybe before we could not, with spiritual eyes.

Edit add: This current connection I said his lungs are not working, but I meant the are not regenerating anymore is what
the doctor told him about 3 months ago when he ended up in ER. He was told by the doc to quit smoking or else.
He is not stopping smoking. Either The Good Lord will be back soon to get us out of here, OR I will probably still be here when
he passes away. It bothers me, that he won't stop smoking. But I can't control him. He's at an age where many hard core smokers
end up paying a price.. he is a heavy smoker too. I know there are people that smoke cigs until age 100+ but frankly if his lung
are not regenerating now.. I doubt he will be here much longer.
I... have to work on myself. It's TOUGH to not be close to more of my connections. I love him to death this one, but we are also very
different & have our work to do. I have a lot of responsibility & care taking a relative p-time & a lot I am having to deal with on my own time.
I could say he is selfish horrible person for not quitting smoking.. he is dying likely now. But who am I to say.
I've worked through a lot with these souls, enough to understand I can work on me. I can love them. God's in charge.
These are eternal souls from beginning of time. We'll be back together again, as soul family. This is what I see..

[57tcjc75]

I've also found it helpful since this nearly 15 yrs of conscious awakening to ask, WHY rather than what or at least I seem to get my answers, from God eventually when I ask WHY.
The soul connections just to say too, have a very strong work ethic when I think of the suppressing that certain of them do, i.e. with cigarettes for instance, it comes to my mind now,
that it's like they see themselves on other side & are suppressing because they cannot now live in, "The Fullness of The Glory of God."
Sometimes this earth is frustrating, & to try to figure out the reasons people do what they do.. & accept it as God's Timing for things.
It's like riding roller coaster sometimes while in the connection depending..
at least till we are all together again.

[Helix6]

Originally Posted by jro5139

To answer your questions, yes these could be awakening symptoms. The "rudeness" of his awakening is just him having trouble accepting it, it sounds a little rough but it actually could be much worse. It could be linked to your reunion, but it could be any number of things, or really a combination of things. It's hard to say what all contributes to it, there's a lot.

What should you do with him? The way he acts is similar to the way mine acted. In the end, nothing I did made any difference to how he acted. This journey is a lot about letting go of control. I suppose you just have to let them come to accept things in their own time.
How is it possible he stated this awakening if he's not ready to? That's because time is running out to awaken in this cycle. If he is the lightworker you say he is, than he will be pushed into awakening now, completely ready or not. There may be something he is meant to do. It's not unsafe, although life can seem very unsteady for a while.

Hi Jro5139,

I read again your message and it makes so much sense...
His symptoms didn't calm down....but the opposite. The problem is that he seems to still avoid it months after.
He has so much troubles with ear ringing that he puts some ball ears to drive (!) which is completly unsafe.
So means he may have real amplified sounds to do that !!
I didn't experience this...my awakening seems very gentle and cool compared to that.
Do you think he could be the matrix twin with more spiritual power and I would be the spiritual one more focused on guiding him?
But I have no clue of what he's experiencing right now, it seems much more explosive than what I am experiencing myself !

Cheers

[Helix6]

Originally Posted by 57tcjc75

@Helix6,

You say:
"He also tries to keep control on things/people to stay in his safe position,"
in regards to your connection.

I can relate to this aspect for myself. I was single many years, & got used to taking care of myself. When I married first connection person (conscious connection/awakening guy), I had to loose of a lot of control
(that I had over my own life). In ways it felt very safe because of our connection. I do not regret knowing him, I get it now.

Hi,

Thank you for providing so much details !
Yeah,TF relationship is so much about letting go...releasing control. In both ways.
i feel the connection anyway when apart due to dreams on spiritual plane! Its magical!

Healing (especially for the runner) is a long process.


Divine timing is the answer. We have to be patient !

[Helix6]

Now it seems that when I go online my tf immediately goes offline after seconds.even if I don't speak to him...
what do you think ? What can explain this behavior..?

[57tcjc75]

Helix6,

You are welcome for details. It is healing for me to write, especially now with this current close connection around my 3D.

Re your t.f. moving in opposite direction. My t.f.'s are opposites. There are some sites that say there are 7 t.f.'s & maybe one being closest, & this scenario is what I experience..
Only you can try to decipher what it is. Right now, this current connection, he can be pretty intense emotionally. I as well, although it seems not to bother him, where it is too much for me to be intense often around him. He is like #7 of the ones I've met so some of my other connections are perhaps more comfortable for me this way.

This whole experience leads me to God & myself.. the close souls seem to see that brightest part of ourselves, but also as opposites, when an opposite type of t.f., it is too, about that dance & healing.
Clarifying both t.f.'s needs I think is important though it can take time.
With this current connection, there are others he talks with, women that he is interested in... though he expressed the desire to be around me a lot, I feel I short out with him if too often at all.
I just see this headed into Heaven for instance where (as I see) we will be doing what we love there, around our closest of souls, & even if say we are all back together, my primary 12 & 144 soul group, close in proximity right away, at least we will all be there.. so there is less pressure, just like a healthy family.. soul family, to me, it's finding one's self, in relation to, those we love & the rest of the world. To heal, is also to go out in world or however it is, to embrace one's talents/skills knowing God's Love & Light.

It also is nice to know that others, the ones who do not really know us, if there is hate emitting from them, I can more easily detach & refocus back onto my own life, interests.
It's like seeing The Veil in layers & going up through it, over time to no time (forever/heaven).
The lies of darkness, sadness, only God's Truth prevails!
I also see my soul family around... that we can visit each other & understand God's Perfect order. This has taken time & my meeting (that awakening over 10 yrs ago..).. Too maybe it's just realizing this is yet 3D.

[Helix6]

Hi,

Its just that as it seems usual in TF relationships...we are strongly involved in a push-pull dynamic.
So we were very close last time we met and had a wonderful night after hours of talking...very intimate conversations and openess without judgement from him.
But of course after this strong moment (passionate discussions and night...before to leave each over we kissed passionately)he has withdrawn...since then I have no news and he didn't reply to my last messages. :/

So I guess it comes to what you say :

Originally Posted by 57tcjc75

Helix6,

You are welcome for details. It is healing for me to write, especially now with this current close connection around my 3D.

Re your t.f. moving in opposite direction. My t.f.'s are opposites. There are some sites that say there are 7 t.f.'s & maybe one being closest, & this scenario is what I experience..
Only you can try to decipher what it is. Right now, this current connection, he can be pretty intense emotionally. I as well, although it seems not to bother him, where it is too much for me to be intense often around him. He is like #7 of the ones I've met so some of my other connections are perhaps more comfortable for me this way.

Each time we go a bit farer together but he retreats quickly after meeting me...

Also he might be overwhelmed by the Kundalini stuff that he doesn't understand in a spiritual way (still looking for medical explanations or thinking about insanity...).
Fortunately I know we exchange a lot on a spiritual plane, last time we met he had strong ear ringing during the conversation and me too...also I made some vivid dream where we talk about private stuff.
Currently it also seems that I have strong "downloads" of information (DNA update?) and I need a lot of sleep as well (Im exhausted) because I have ear ringing with modulations and refined new pitches and clearhearing almost each night before to sleep and in the morning when I wake up. Got some flashlights also when falling asleep like if there was some thunderstorms (same intensity).

[Helix6]

New sync?

While writing, this the song "on my mind" from Jordan Smith is playing :

Don't want to feel you
Don't want you on my mind
Don't want to feel you
Don't want you on my mind
Don't want to feel you
Don't want you on my mind
On my mind, on my mind
Mind, mind, mind, mind
Why on earth would I leave
If you were everything I wanted you to be?
When I saw what you did, who you were with
Got me questionin' the things that I believe
So I ask myself, do I let you go?
Or do I keep you in the frame of my mind?
Now I'm growing wise to your sugar-coated lies
Nothing's sweet about my misery, yeah

Lol... :)) it seems that it's a message from the runner twin thoughts !