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Originally Posted by LolKat
IndigoViolet, I know what you mean. Sometimes I worry I'm imagining things or projecting what I feel onto others. But other times I think: Was I really the only one seeing that coming? Or I'll get a certain feeling off of someone. There is a friend of my husband's that I feel uncomfortable around. Something just seems...off. So anytime he comes up in conversation to others, and they've never met this friend, I mention "Oh, yeah. His totally creepy friend." Lol
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My living area is so close, concealed, and is full of people like this and I instantly feel uncomfortable being with every single person. They are beyond terrible, stupid, strives only to survive, and selfish. The "smell" of stingy for no apparant reason at alll. Overtime I absorbed their aura and is a terrible nuisance to just to get rid of the whole cycle of hospital stays that aren't that much pleasant. Not until that I got rid of the old hostel, and then changing to another one.
But still, the problem remains. I totally despise deep in my heart the staff and the people here, and they simply feel wrong in every way. I did not exactly know why I was trying at every single cost I can, including my life, to avoid those type of people. However over the course of a year, I knew why I felt the way that I did. I mentally even now, feel to the venge to vomiting energy waste out, and is agitated just by staying at where I am right now.
The rights and the wrongs are the places that I am always unsure, and is probably something that are meant to be unsure of and weary of. Perhaps, in a sense, I got no choice at all but to live with such paradox, but is always observing at the same time, of how much hits and misses I've got. To be honest, I was always 100% spot on on viewing people just by instinct and how it made me feel, for reasons that science nor the so call top end d* pros can explain.
Eventually, I trusted on my own judgement much more than they do, and chase them away as they are now a nuisance as to if I say something off, they will remember it and they are of no help lol, and they had been destroying my good record before I noticed it. But luckily, and fortunately, I had enough sense on what was going on, and chased them off asap both from myself, and as well save my parents from their trouble before they actually hit.
Don't trust anyone - this all I've experienced in this kind of nasty world. Later when you are more sensitive and more exposed to the world, you will realized that any freedom can be taken away easily. The sensitiveness created a lot of terrible feelings and even mental nightmares, but later in my real life, they saved my life, my sanity, and people who are around me, because I have all experienced this, and I can tell them not to listen to the professionals.
And finally I guess, that's probably why we are here at the first place, not only to search answers, but find something alternative to deal with our own life, when there are no one at all who we can rely on, at all, finding us alone, with no one ahead of us. Whatever the cost, even to face damnation, simply because we are in all way, already being there, and nowhere worst we can be.