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Lying and deception are often coping mechanisms to shift and delay “reality” into something more acceptable and palatable for self, loved ones, and society. Some folks who lie and decieve are just as convincing to themselves as to others. Or they know that its a lie but so badly want that to be the truth as life would be “easier” and they can be the person they want to be rather than who seems to actually show up. Which story would you want to believe?
At root there is rejecting some aspect of ourselves and who we are and lying, decieving, omitting becomes a means to manipulate control over our lives and how we are viewed. We can’t share who we are because we may not know or accept ourselves well enough yet to share or others in our lives may have expectations about who we are and are not very open to any change. Or we think we know best for another... lying and deceiving to “protect” the fragile “reality” (er fantasy) of another and ourselves.
Often it is the liar and deciever who doesn’t get to be known and loved for who they are until they finally open up to themselves and others... due the deficit of fault and blame built up that can be quite daunting to come out from under because of the hurt and judgement from loved ones affected by the manipulation of reality and the loss of control of the liar who now has to confront the “unacceptable” and allow the rejected/hidden aspects of self to be seen and potentially rejected and walked away from.
It can be quite lovely to let it all go... as it is terrifying to do so...
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