Wow, thanks - Kundalini, it was your quote from another thread, and yeah, it's amazing, I do think that we've had pretty similar experiences. I know what you're saying about 'knowing' you can get better without drugs. I think at the moment I 'know' that I am out of energy, and that I need some help. That's the only reason I caved in and took to medication. I think at our core, we already probably know the answers. Maybe I need help for a few months, and then I will go it alone again. This thread really helped, because yesterday I was in the midst of despair, imagining being dependent on meds for the rest of my life. Now I'm thinking that might not be so.

AZCowGirl, yeah, I know what you're saying. I was in a chronic state of stress for years, and didn't listen to the needs of my body, mind or soul. I had a stupid high-pressure job and took stimulants for years to try and keep on top of everything. I always knew that I would crumble in the end. All of my cells were becoming sicker, and sicker. I am now on that road to healing, and am learning to listen to myself for the first time. Maybe by blocking out the messenger (by taking antidepressant drugs) I won't be so attuned to what's going on inside. I guess I feel that I need a break from the messenger for a while! But I know what you mean, I will carry on with all of my other healing stuff (Reiki, relaxation, healthy living, etc) and hopefully it won't be for long.