My initial feeling reading this (and I could be wrong) was that you are drawn to this man because he represents traits that you feel disconnected from and desperately want to reconnect with at this time. His presence in your life may continue after you have resolve this within yourself or he may fall away from your life. I sense that you (either consciously or subconsciously) feel like you have lost the "sunny" side of yourself while you have been going through this dark period and because he externally represents that, you are extremely drawn to him and want to be around him. He makes you feel more "whole", like you are reconnected to this aspect of yourself that you may be grieving the (perceived) loss of. Just know that even though you feel as though you have a less joyful disposition at this time, people may not actually see you that way. Also, it is completely healthy to experience other emotions, it makes you human. You do not have to be happy all the time and part of the dark night of the soul is breaking down things that you have made your "identity" and that can be painful. I get the vibe that you are a very empathetic individual and so, you often allow others to experience the full range of emotions without judging them for it, but do not allow yourself that same level of humanity. More self-compassion is definitely need to traverse this period and once you allow yourself to be human just like you do everyone else, you may not have the same level of "awe" that you currently have for this man. With that being said, if he is still around after that, you can then reevaluate your feelings towards him and proceed from a place of holding a clearer perspective.

I really hope this is helpful and resonates. If not, I do wish you the best of luck in finding the answer that "clicks" in your heart.