Dear Silvergirl,
I read right now and have a belated message for you. I understand very well how do you feel.
Thoughts and feelings that have not been timely shared, words that have not been said... I feel the same, and always ask myself why could I be so unaware of what would come.
In my case, his illness gave me some time, but I am afraid that I could not take as advantage of such possibility as I should.
I do not feel guilty at all as he died in a big peace, but I recall such moments, because of my lack of awareness, as a lost opportunity for a deep and common understanding.
However, as Falling Star says, love never dies and Sean is receiving all your love and he can receive now all your unspoken words too, as they come from your genuine and deepest feelings.
All my empathy and blessings goes out to you.
TISS