Quote:
|
Originally Posted by pluralone
Quite a telling word there, "choose". Yes it can be a choice, but when one is unaware of other options is it really? The great thing here is that now you recognize your other options. For me, turning my anger or other hurt feelings in on myself is easier than feeling angry at the other person. It's been years since I recognized the other options available to me (like not throwing stones at myself just because I can't throw them at someone else), but I'd done that for so long it had become a thinking 'habit', a solid route in my brain along which such things always proceeded. Changing routes is difficult (understatement), and at times I still catch myself throwing stones at me.
It's a process. =-)
My point: If/when you catch yourself returning to old thinking habits, please be gentle with yourself as you adjust course. It's hard enough to do without being angry at oneself whenever a mistake is made.
|
That's true. It's a choice. And we have to be gentle to be gentle with ourselves. I think, all of it comes down to a lack of self-love. When we don't feel worthy, we lose the objectivity of a situation. We feel hurt, and we direct that pain and anger towards the person we don't like - ourselves.