I am certain for you your cat is giving you the signs you need she is playing with electricity, my past animal child is also good at this I find like you the TV will switch off the lights flicker, I even had TV pause it's self so yes they can do many things with electrical things, and indeed send messages through nature, when my baby passed newts out of nowhere seemed to be attracted to my pond, it's as if she sent them to me, so I agree the lady bug was indeed a sign from your beloved cat child, my animal child a lizard was my everything I completely relate to your suicidal thoughts but please know this is not what they want, they want us to be happy and move on with our lives, it's been 3 years for me and I admit it's still hard, but I know I must stay strong for her sake. When the time is right she will connect with you in ways that will heal your soul more and more, the dreams once they master them are very intense the feeling of holding them is truly a god send, give her time she is doing much to prove to you she is ok. believe anything is possible I believe many passed animals reincarnate back to loved ones but not always is the loved one aware, they can come back as anything they want that in body still lives on earth. And if you experience telepathy with her this is as said a universal language for soul for all really. I wish the best for you it will get better in time.