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So, I find it, then dust off the African drums, the Dholak, the Bongos and I start puting Bollywood "Bhangra Beats' to boring, sacred hymns (Lingashtakam) and make the connection with the spirit of Vibration that emanated from the reflection of Spanda from within the 'Great Arc' of cosmic Self-reflection, reflecting itself AS Self ...as the first 50 characters of the Devanagari alphabet which, of course, started with the letters A-U-M and this is also the 'time signature' of Lord Shiva's Damru...and so, I lose myself in a trance again for the next 45-60 minutes before deciding that I now 'stink enough' to go and wash all the sweat, tears, saliva, vibhuti off, and rinse the rudraksha and put on my bindi, my long ankle-length saffron skirt, my long sleeved white cotton blouse tied with a sash of black and white checks, with a red border and do some Shree Chakra Vidya Puja instead which, in turn (through applying reductionism to the Tattwas) leads me on to all the principles of Swara Yoga (the Yoga of Pranic Pathways) and back to "So Ham/Ham So" - "I am that Swan" (but the Swan is still the Swan...just one that "I AM" now) - I still don't get it, but I also know it cannot be explained once non-duality seems to negate itself through it's own 'non-existence' beyond the whole Spanda of Refelective Consciousness (Vimarsha) and so, this will probably be understood by me at the time of leaving my 'physical body'.
After chanting, drumming, praying, crying tears of surrender in full devotion to this 'Great Soul" who I have been 'aware of' all my life, I bathe, dress, worship the inner and outer 'Shakti' and then eat something light, like the banana I just offered to Lord Shiva or some dates and I wash it down with a bottle of probiotic yoghurt and I may have some oats and honey or just rice crisps with soy if I am super-hungry...or a glass of kale juice if I am in 'self punishing mode". After breakfast, I usually head off to the ocean (two streets away) and walk barefoot on the sand to "ground myself" but what usually happens is that I wade out to waist-height in whatever I am wearing and get knocked off my feet countless times by surf while I am trying to make offerings to Varuna Deva (Poseidon) and to keep his sharks WAY back from my general vicinity if he wished these oblations to continue ( I have a fear of sharks which usually and abruptly ends all my 'beach sessions').
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