When I started my journey into Islam I was curious but thought the real proof would come from within. Like, "Am I capable of doing this? Of being who I need to be to make this part of my life?"
I had gone to meet with the founder of a Masjid about an hour away. He was the guest speaker on the first Family Night I ever attended at the local Mosque and his messages resonated with me on such a profound level I felt it had to be more than coincidence. So I explored that sense and got a tour of the Masjid and their school.
One of the teachers there who is very enthusiastic about her faith had sworn to me that once I embraced Islam everything in my life would fall into place and I had sort of written it off as a sales pitch although I had witnessed as much happen to one of my friends once he reverted. But... coincidence right?
The crazy thing is... everything is changing!
I always felt the presence of God in my life. I never asked for or needed proof of that. I always trusted, even in the hard times that it was all part of his plan and no matter how bad things got I never doubted him or turned my back on him. Just watched for signs to help guide me to where I was meant to be so I could fulfill whatever purpose he has for me in this life.
I used to look at little things and feel like they were signs although they were not specific or direct. Things like a series of harships I would feel were an indicator I needed to change direction. But since I have been incorperating Islmaic practice into my life... not even devoutly just partially... the signs are insane!
Like... A friend of mine and I started writing a book together. One day early on I had started to wonder why I was spending so much time and energy on it and that day I had opened a thread by chance, started reading, got distracted and when I came back to close the window I realized their avitar was an image of the art form that is the name of the book, and their signature was the description of the art form which is the entire first page of the book. And it is not a well known art form.
It blew my mind. It was the first of many signs and bizarre coincidences since this all started that have really made me wonder if there isn't something more to Islam than I had originally guessed. I just loved it because of the level of devotion and reverence it pays to The Divine and because it seemed there was a greater level of compassion among those in the Islamic community as far as being activly involved in helping others, giving back and volunteering.
Another time I was nagging my friend about how we needed to work on the book so we could get it done and no joke, I got an email at that moment from some random political campaign with the headline "Important Book Published!"
Then there are the dreams...
I finish every prayer the same, I sit and include prayers for my family, friends, even some people I don't particularly care for because I think they need it and myself asking that he bestow upon us his strength, guidance and wisdom so that we may grow in his grace and his favor as we seek to find the paths he has intended for us. I thank him for the many blessings and lessons he has given me in this life to make me who I am today and I ask that he will help me develop clarity in certain areas where I am not certain of what direction I am to take. I do personally refrain from asking for things because I like to believe I will have what he means for me to have nothing more and nothing less.
But I have found that those times when I specifically ask for clarity about certain situations I will have the most vivid dreams filled with symbols that connect to the specific situation I wanted clarity on.
One in particular, indicated that a bad habit I had slipped into was a compulsion. That is the specific term the dream dictionary used 'compulsion'. And even crazier, the last time I felt tempted by the compulsion I recieved an e-mail from the afore mentioned founder of that Masjid, at that very moment, with a "Friday Message" stating that there was no compulsion in religion... “There is no compulsion in the religion. The right way stands there clearly distinguished from the false…”
(The Qur’an 2:256)
The coincidences are making my head spin.
Then, in just the past two weeks, I had gotten in trouble at work for chewing gum and started contemplating along the lines of bringing a tooth brush with me to work to kill the after lunch breath and... no joke, a couple of days later a local dental office dropped of a box of promotional dental packages... enough for the entire staff: Toothbrushes, toothpaste, floss, lip gloss...
Then I needed one of my friends to watch my daughter for a few days while I was working. My daughter loved it and had taken to climbing this tree in her back yard. When I saw the tree, I freaked out. It had a cluster of thin branches at the bottom that protruded straight up and I was terrified she would poke an eye out but I was too afraid to mention it to my friend because I felt like it could come off as insulting... some how insinuating she wasn't watching her well enough. So, I kept it to myself. The weekend passed and the next time I went by her house to drop my daughter off she told me her landlord had removed the tree! "So sorry they took her climbing tree away."
What is going on?!
Is this normal? It doesn't feel normal.
And then I think of this quote from the Prophet (PBUH) Surah Ibrahim 14:4
So is he just giving me affirmation that this is the right path for me spiritually?
I am looking for some alternate perspectives or maybe some of your own affirmations... because this is the most bizarre spiritual thing I have every encountered.