I have been wondering along these lines lately. Especially "assuming" for my twin. In my case a major age difference, 20 years, I had often assumed that there was no way to make this work. I was assuming her reaction and also a societal judgment that fed into the mirror loop of my emotion feeding hers. When I consciously dropped this mental construct, I immediately felt more peaceful. Perhaps it can best be summed up by the old line "love conquers all".