Here.
https://m.imgur.com/a/Uh7mWZb
I call that picture "self portrait" because I took a picture of myself but THAT is the picture that came out of it.
I am not photogenic and I'm not very good with a camera so when I try to take a picture of myself I usually look in a mirror and then take a picture of my image in the mirror.
That particular time, I sat on the floor in my bathroom in front of a full length mirror. I was using a digital camera with a flash, not a cell phone. Obviously, the spray of light in the picture was created by the way the light from the flash hit the glass but that rational human explanation is irrelevant.
What matters is that ASTOUNDINGLY, that spray of light image is EXACTLY what the big bang explosion looks like (except much brighter). Therefore, I named it self portrait.
I can tell you HOW and WHY that explosion happened but understand how incredibly violating it is to me when something so personal is attacked, devalued, unbelieved, unappreciated. You just couldn't fathom the ignorance and disregard and arrogance and disrespect in this monstrous human world. Nor could you fathom the indignation and violence, and so much more.
Hey, I ACTUALLY exist. My life is right here and right now, not some next lifetime (although there is a next lifetime). My life has been wasted all along but continues to be wasted. Think of all the people who will be murdered today, all who will be maimed and handicapped by injuries, those whose lives will be ruined and destroyed...
Life isn't some happy machine. It's HEAVY LADEN with all sorts of catastrophic harm, injury, losses, etc..
Life is a great big harrowing tragedy with only just enough entertaining or amusing distraction to trick you into thinking life is "good". It is good for some people but the more real side of life is loaded with every unthinkable grief, misery and suffering.
Think of all the homeless people.
Think of all who are starving.
Think of all who have unfathomable diseases and disorders, and all the people whose lives and careers are dedicated to caring for them (watch SBSK channel on YouTube).
Think of the trade war between big countries and read about the black horse.
There is a great, massive DEPTH AND WEIGHT to existence.
For me, life is eternal DARKNESS. Eternal HELL. Eternal SUFFERING.
FOREVER.
I can tell you that evil exists forever. Nothing undoes evil.
Lucky for all of you out there who do not dwell in DARKNESS like I do.