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I am sorry that you are suffering from the loss of your friend. I wish I had words to sooth you. Sometimes we need to devote ourselves to a loss in order to adjust to it. I know there have been times when I would rather people leave me be and not distract me from it. To do so sometimes seems to take you away from the connection you still feel with that loved one.
The only thing I can think of to share with you is that there are many ways to reconnect with those who have passed over.
When my mother died I was sitting on my bed in my room and I felt her stronger than when she was alive. Maybe she had felt that strong when I was a little kid but I was not aware then so it would not be significant and just normal and what I felt everyday. We were more distant later in her life so the contrast was remarkable. It was unmistakably her. She has since returned a few times but it has not been as intense. I am pretty certain that she was initially so strong because her energy was still contained and she was just recently freed from her body. As time passes they adjust to existence beyond this plane.
My mother wanted more of a spiritual element in her life but it was blocked from her somehow. My wife was a channel. She was unique in that she could channel an indefinite number of beings. If she felt comfortable with you and your guides she could channel your guides. So she would do readings and a client would be able to have a discussion with their guide using her body. When my mother passed away my mother said she was enjoying the access/opening up of the spiritual realm. My mother said she had always wanted it but it was never available to her in her life.
When my father died I did not feel anything of his being in passing. However later on when I was putting together his funeral program and looking at scanned pictures on my computer display I felt in touch with him. He was in the Marines. Imagining his life experiences lead me to read many books on military life. He was not a spiritual man. (My wife had passed away by the time my father died so she was not around for an opportunity to speak with my father after his passing).
My friend Kenny was napping on the couch and his friend who had passed away whispered "Hey Ken" to him and he woke up.
Periodically I feel my late sister comes to me at night. I have awoken many times either during the night or in the morning knowing she has come. She also died after my wife was gone. I was close to my sister and still feel the void. It comes and goes. But I find myself thinking to call her and realize no one has ever been able to fill the hole she left.
My wife was very tapped in to higher levels and I have felt she has had more important things to move onto than hang around here. She worked very very hard for her guides. I don't think she misses it here at all. Only recently have I reached out to her. She responded immediately.
I have never liked the idea that time has a way of healing a loss. I don't want to stop feeling people I love whether it is a death or a breakup from a mate. But we are still alive and time passes and does heal. It is the natural thing taking place.
You have been a good friend. Be kind to yourself.
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