I have felt like escaping in the past. When i have considered how to achieve this the things that become clear make me realise that i am better off in this body. Considering i brought my kids in to the world and created a relationship with them i could never turn my back on them. Having to watch them suffer at my hand from a far would tear my heart to pieces and would be the worst form of torture i could imagine. I am worried that my partner would hook up with someone that could possibly hurt my children and i would be powerless to stop it without a body and would have to watch. When i consider that the body is a pain having to feed and maintain it it is a small compromise for what i have in my children and i could never justify leaving my body voluntarily and the pain that my actions would and could inflict on them for the rest of their lives.

Sometimes the feel good chemicals in the brain can spike and give you a temporary high that you can't maintain 100% of the time. Therefore the times that you dont feel on high are mistaken for feeling low when infact the low periods are actually normal but maybe a little depressed. To live on high is not the best place to be as people take unsafe risks and get themselves in to situations that can be harmful. People that take drugs such as lsd stimulate this chemical are very unstable and from what i have seen they are very powerful without fear or conscience of consequence which is scary.

There is no easy escape from life but there also is nothing like meditation to feel the freedom of being in spirit when you are missing home .

When i was young i used to think or dream things and they would happen just llike you. Like i asked my mum what she would do if roy orbison died and a few days later he did. Or i dreamt of my aunty trying to kiss me goodbye to find out that she died. I seen a movie called "the jinx" and for so long i thought i made those things happen and that i had some sort of bad power. Ends up i was just perceptive and knew things before they happened like looking in to the future. There are so many wonderful phenomena open to you Goldenstairs having this gift if you spend the time to look and it is a great distraction from life for a while.

Hang in there Golden stairs you will be just fine