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learn about the high arch angels such as raphael for healing uriel and micheal for protection against demonic attacks and metatron to help raphael in healing you from this. have a strong relationship with jesus and ask him for strength and insight in what you need to do to be able to heal from all that you have suffered it is not easy at all used to do that all the time and now i just drink occasionally but even then i have moderated thanks to my overseers and team in which i serve with. with my case i was suicidal for the most part until i asked azrael raphael jophiniel and rochel to help me change that. mine was caused by too much pain and abuse from non angels from past lives and the nature of my past lives as well as damage i went through fighting demons in the astral realm in my present one and not having the memories of past lives come back until much later as micheal and other angels revealed it to me. i hope you are able to get past this soon its not easy for any of us almost been to a psych ward myself
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