I'm considering an answer. Not everything I experienced that has make me see the Buddhas wisdom is suitable for an open forum.

For now I feel that the Buddha points to something less bleak than you seem to think,but truth be told I'm not a 100% sure about that.

I would never for instance leave my wife in pursuit of my spiritual endevours. This is something I vowed to and its a vow more dear to me to hold than any spiritual vow ever could mean to me.

Looking at the buddhas life story as it is handed down and seeing most arhats that are alive today. I don't see them act like unaffectes robins. Quite the opposite in fact.

Even though the buddha makes some remarkable statement as to how to become free from suffering he doesn't explain much about what he attained other than insight in the 4 noble truths.

His rules for the monastic order he founded are there principali for monks and later nuns. The vinyana (book of monastic rules) grew to what it is out of neccsity over a period of many years. And isn't very usefull for family people.

With love
Eelco