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Originally Posted by lilith
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That's me on the inside. Narcissist vampire, a fake, right? Me on the outside, either I'm like an angel being good to everyone, a fairy, having fun and amazing friends and people who think they love me.
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Anyway, I feel suffocated I don't know why and how should I feel or what to do to feel like existence is satisfying?
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Putting up a false front not only saps your strength, it keeps you from seeing yourself and being seen by others.
One can feel suffocated by others, or one can feel suffocated from yourself. The later seems to be the case here, you are not letting you be yourself.
As to it all being meaningless, that is true. Acceptance can help with this.
Nothing left to do but be yourself, surely its not worse than things are now.