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You've asked the right question, Val. No one can tell you to the answer to this. It annihilates every established narrative; there are no systems of belief that accommodate it. No one wants to grapple with the fearfulness of the answer.
Never stop asking what you are when you strip your humanity away, and never accept anyone else's answer on the subject. You can find this thing through meditation, challenging the shape and safety of your consciousness by force of will, night after night, and nowhere else.
The only guiding light you can trust is yourself. And, I suppose, "pure" techniques, which is to say, methods of meditation that do not tell you what to expect to witness, feel, or believe in.
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