[WabiSabi]

There is a place that I want to live, and a person that I want to exist as while I am there. The issue is that both this place and the person I want to be are fictional. They only exist within my head as far as I know. And yet every night I stay awake for hours just imagining what it would be like to exist there, to leave this world behind and be reborn.

This desire is extremely powerful, and causes issues in my everyday life as I am not happy where I am or being who I am. I don't think anything that exists in this world could satisfy me, from traveling many places to being rich and powerful to living a humble life of compassion. All such imaginings are burned to ash in the incendiary ferocity of this singular desire.

Sometimes I wonder if I could get there through death, but I am too scared of cosmic repercussions to commit suicide. So my only hope is of continuing to live this life as I am, and maybe, just maybe, my desire will be granted upon my death. But I do not know this for sure.

I suppose this post is two things. One is a plea for validation. I want to know that my dream may come true, and if that is a possibility, what I need to do to make it a reality. Two is a cry for help, as I cannot imagine living out the rest of my life wanting so fiercely as I do now.

Any insight or advice is greatly appreciated.