I am so glad this has helped you. I picked up that it may be similiar to my story so I thort I would share with you. It is hard to stop the snowballing effect. I had started reading Conversations with God years ago but just couldnt get into it. It may have been that I didnt need that info at that time. Cdog I really enjoyed reading your post and can most definitely relate to it like you would not believe!! My mum also always said Let go and Let God and that is something I try to live my life by actually scratch 'try' because it says I am struggling ....... so (affirmation) I 'Let go and let God' forever and ever amen! Your number 444, I am amazed you say that too .... I posted in signs n sychronities (i think thats how its spelt) about 222 ...... everyday for over 6 months now I see 222, not a day has gone by that i havent seen it ..... I see it on clocks, my work invoicing, signs, transport and the most uncanniest places!!! 444 I quite often see also, maybe not every day but every 2nd at least .... I dont exactly know what it all means. But birds too ..... I feel a connection sumtimes when I see certain birds in certain situations, I feel its not a physical bird at all but an angel or soul things and I feel completely at peace when this happens. I drive for a living so it always happens when they fly with my car, along side it or along above me. And yes I just observe, I dont know what it means but I feel with my heart and soul. Thanks guys, it been a real pleasure connecting with you both!